Whatever Happened to the Monster of Logic?
by lose
Summary: At first glance, Hikigaya Hachiman seems no more miserable or cynical than before—but to the trained eye, it's obvious he's suffering. A certain event during his senior year involving a certain person has wrought devastating effects on his psyche. Hachiman sets out to right the wrongs of his past because after all, failure is nothing but the spice of youth.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: As Expected, _His_ Life Remains Uneventful As Always.**

A regret?

To truly be able to analyze what that word really means would be to analyze the concept of time and the human psyche itself. If you asked most people what the biggest regret in their life was, they would probably respond with some generic variant of the same things.

I wish I had been more outgoing when I was younger. I wish I'd made a bigger effort to hang out with friends and enjoy my youth. I wish I had asked out that cute girl when I'd had the chance.

To live is to regret… Because there is no reset button in life and the past is irreparable, regret is the one thing that is constant. Because there is no changing our past selves or altering our past actions, we have no choice but to constantly look back and fill our minds with questions of what ifs or what could have beens.

Although often we look at our pasts with a longing to return to that time, this desire is nothing but a rose-tinted delusion.

The reason that we sometimes see our pasts as memorable and as purely good moments is because our mind glosses over what really happened and tries to reconcile those moments as if to say "Oh I had a great youth! I wouldn't change what I had for anything!"

But once again, like in so many other cases, this is simply one's brain trying to protect itself from harm and dejection. In this way, it could be said that nostalgia is simply a mechanism for us to cope with the inevitable regrets and failures of our pasts.

I put down my laptop and stretched out my arms. I had managed to essentially satisfy every part of the prompt for my advanced writing course, but the essay itself was probably still a little bit too short. Even so, I figured I could use a break and snatched the 2-day old bowl of ramen and empty cans of MAX coffee off the corner of my desk.

Since I started on the assignment a whole week before it was actually due, I had a lot of time to edit my work and hash out new ideas.

The thing about starting your work too early is that your brain has no motivation to churn out anything worthwhile.

When you're just opening up Microsoft Word on your laptop at 9 PM and your paper is due at 8 o'clock in the morning, you have no choice but to cut out all distractions, and dedicate all of your mental focus entirely to your essay. However, when you start a paper that isn't due for another few days or a week, your brain justifies that you have plenty of time and that because you have so much time, you can just write something passable for now and go back later and fix it. Usually, it's only when you go back that you realize what you wrote earlier is a huge pile of crap.

Doing your homework early then is a form of self-satisfaction. You simply want to _feel_ productive, but by doing your work early, you're actually being counterproductive.

It is only when you procrastinate that you can truly produce good material. Couldn't it be said then that procrastinators were the most effective members in society and created the best content? In fact, Spirited Away was probably written, drawn, and animated all in one day in that case!

After picking up the empty articles on my desk, I headed downstairs to dispose of them and tidy up my room. I didn't keep my room particularly spotless or anything, but even I thought it had gotten a little messy in the last few days. "No woman would ever choose me as a househusband if I didn't develop a better sense for cleaning!" or something like that.

I hurried my step and turned the corner to head down the stairs when I suddenly felt a sharp vibration at my hip followed by a piercing ring. I nearly toppled over myself in surprise and barely managed to stop the bowl from falling by propping out the tips of my ring and pinky fingers.

Impressive, I was like a ninja when it came to saving things from falling. I was like the fifth Hokage of bowl-saving right there.

A normal person probably would have put their stuff down immediately or rushed to the kitchen to put it away so as to not keep their caller waiting, but I just wasn't in the mood today. In my lethargy, I walked at my normal pace and tossed the two coffee cans into the recycling bin and rinsed out the bowl of noodles from earlier. As I was cleaning, the shrill noise from the ringtone assailed my ears. I was pretty sure a vein was popping out of my forehead in annoyance by now.

The phone made its last ring as I finished scrubbing the bowl and rinsing my hands. After drying my hands with the dishtowel, I fished through my pockets and fumbled around for my phone. When I took a look at the missed call information, I let out a deep groan.

Hiratsuka-sensei.

It wasn't that I hated sensei or anything, but since graduating from Sobu High, I would get a call from her every week, attempting to coax me out of the house to meet up over ramen or coffee or something. I would usually try to get out of it by making weak claims that I had to help Komachi with her homework or that I was swamped with my studies, but she probably saw right through those excuses anyways and eventually I started resorting to evasion and avoidance. However she would then start texting me crying emojis and I would end up going just to make sure she didn't end up drinking herself into a coma or something. _Seriously, just how lonely was this person?_ _I'm not even kidding around anymore. Somebody take her. Now. _

The phone started to ring again, and I let out a frustrated sigh.

Although our meetings had been growing more infrequent as time had passed, recently I had been denying and evading her requests with more purpose than normal. Although I was never a busybody that had to go out every day to validate my existence, I had noticed that during the past few months, I'd felt even less inclined to go outside and I would usually just hole myself up in my room instead. The more time I spent alone, the less I felt like going outside. It was a vicious cycle.

I pretty much came straight home after class most days. The university wasn't like Sobu High where I could simply stop by the downtown bookstore or theatre after class to kill time. It would take an extra three stops on the train to get to downtown Chiba and I usually felt lazy so I would go home and re-read my old light novels instead. There _was_ a bookstore on campus but hanging out there would often lend the possibility of running into a classmate from lecture, which would be awkward. We would probably be forced to play the "Do I say hi or wait for you to say hi?" game and I didn't have the patience for that kind of thing these days. Not that I ever did, but especially not these days.

Boy, being a second-year University student sure was tough. Who knew.

On the fourth ring, I finally picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

I asked, a slight hint of annoyance leaking out from my tone. My voice came out hoarse.

"Hikigaya? It's Shizuka."

"Hm. Yes what do you need sensei?"

"You've been ignoring my calls again. You do know that it's incredibly impolite to ignore your elders, especially when your elder happens to be your teacher and a woman."

"Ah I know, but technically you aren't my teacher anymore. But the thing you said about respecting my elders is true enough."

"Hikigaya…" She warned with a low growl. Yep, still scary. "Anyways, since you've dodged me for more than a month now, I figured that I would cut off your route of escape and come directly to the source this time. Look outside your window."

My heart skipped a beat as she said that but I did as instructed. I shuffled over to the window in my living room and peered through the blinds to see a sleek, black car parked in the driveway with Hiratsuka-sensei leaning against its hood, phone in hand. My scanning eyes connected with hers for a brief second before I released my grip on the blinds and fell back on my butt. Crap! I was found out!

"Come out, come out…" she said in a low whisper. How terrifying.

I jammed my thumb against the end call button and crawled behind the couch to hide. Even if she managed to break the door down somehow, she still couldn't enter unless I invited her in right? That's how these types of things worked in the movies anyway.

"Come on Hikigaya, let me in." her voice came in muffled through the door.

If I let her in, would it turn out to be like one of those films where the monster comes in and chases me around the house, only for it to get me at the very end anyway? Or would it be like the American remake of that Swedish movie where I invited her in and we would act out some illicit vampire romance? That didn't sound so bad. Then again, the vampire in that movie was young and sensei was old, so that theory was incompatible. (1)

After having been fed up with the relentless barrage of knocks on the door, I begrudgingly opened it up and came face to face with sensei. She was wearing a thick black leather jacket that flowed behind her waist, giving off the impression of that of a black reaper or genius mastermind or something. Too cool sensei, too cool! What was this, Hangyaku no Shizuka?

"Finally."

She paused upon looking at my face. What did I really look that bad?

"Wow, you don't look so good."

Well, I guess that answers that.

Come to think of it, I suppose she was right in some sense. I hadn't seen her in a few months and in that time, I hadn't really been prodigious with my shaving, and my hair had grown considerably longer. Long flecks of mustache and other facial hair sprouted out above my lip and across my chin. My hair was no better off and now hung down past my eyes. I brushed it out of the way and proceeded to respond sarcastically.

"Gee, thanks."

"I didn't mean it like that. It's just you look different from the last time I saw you that's all."

Although she looked away as she said that, I thought I saw a strange look in her eye. However, her face quickly reverted to its usual expression as she continued.

"Anyways, grab your most recent papers and let's head to a coffee shop. My treat."

"Eh, I didn't sleep much last night and I'm pretty tired now, so…" I trailed off.

"It wasn't a request." Her tone was blunt. "I'll give you a few minutes," she said as she pulled out a cigarette and flicked open her steel zippo to light it.

Well, when she put it like that, I suppose I didn't really have much of a choice did I? I let her into the living room and I sluggishly crawled my way up the stairs to my room to put on some clothes.

I had never really been fashion-conscious, but since university didn't require uniforms to be worn, I'd had to do more shopping for myself recently, which meant I would have to actually choose what to wear on this little outing of ours. I scanned the room and found a thin, beige long-sleeved shirt and pulled it over my head along with some dark navy jeans. I stuffed my laptop into my green knapsack and grabbed my wallet off the top of the dresser. I closed the door quietly and walked back down the stairs.

"Ready," I declared almost emotionlessly.

"Alright." she said in response. However, a look of realization shot across her face soon after and she turned towards me with a question.

"Where's Komachi by the way? I didn't see her at school today so I assumed she was at home sick, but that appears to not be the case."

Komachi wasn't at school today? Hm, that's odd. In fact, I just now noticed that I hadn't seen Komachi all day either. Usually she would come home around the same time I did but it was nearing six o clock at this point and I still hadn't seen her. And as for the school thing… it really wasn't like Komachi to ditch class. That's not the kind of girl my little sister was; annoying and entitled yes—a delinquent, never.

"I don't know, I haven't seen her around today either. Also, Sobu's a big place so you can't really expect to see her every day or anything. That might be the reason you couldn't find her today."

"Mm, you may be right, but usually she stops by my office during lunch to say hi or to talk. I find it a little strange that she would so suddenly skip what has kind of become a routine with us."

I was slightly curious as well but ended up shrugging.

"Anyways, let's get going," Sensei declared as she stood up with a flourish. The back of her coat swished behind her as she turned sharply. Still as cool as ever teach.

We both walked out the front door after our brief exchange concluded. I pulled out a key from my bag and quickly locked up before following Sensei to her car. She sat in the driver's seat and I, of course, planted myself in the passenger side with a thud. The leather was soft and plush, but a lot colder than I remembered. In fact, the atmosphere was a lot colder than I was expecting as well. It was only late November, but it was freezing.

We pulled out of the driveway after we put on our seatbelts, and Hiratsuka-sensei stomped on the pedal to accelerate the car. At this point, it was nearly dusk, and the sky was a darkish-grey color. We sped out of the neighborhood and onto the highway where lights from the industrial areas and other cars flashed by my eyes. We sat in silence for a while, both looking out at the distance ahead of us. It was a very long distance.

* * *

(1) American movie about a middle schooler who falls in love with a vampire.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Unsurprisingly, **_**She**_** Brings Up The Past Once Again.**

The drive was relatively quiet with the only noises being Sensei occasionally shifting the gears on the transmission or the tires screeching against the pavement as she swerved around the other cars on the dimly lit highway.

Wow she really knew her way around a car didn't she? I'd be impressed if I weren't so terrified for my life right now. We were probably driving at least eighty-five miles an hour, but in her small, aerodynamic coupe, it felt like we were going at light speed or something. My hands instinctively wrapped themselves around the sides of my bucket seat.

After a bout of silence, Sensei eventually voiced a question.

"So, how have you been holding up these days? Anything interesting happening at school?"

I leaned my face towards her and slightly squinted my eyes, as if to say "What do you think?"

I wasn't really in the mood to talk so I tried to get my point across with just my expression. After all, it's been said that seventy-percent of human communication was made through body language and facial expressions, or something along those lines. It's weird that I still remember that.

"Hmm." She made a small noise in affirmation as she turned her face back to the road.

We drove on in relative silence for a while, with sensei occasionally humming a soft and melodic tune. Although it sounded very familiar, it was hard to put my finger on the exact song that I heard. It was definitely a classical piece… Moonlight Sonata? Claire de Lune maybe? I had no doubt that I'd heard it before.

"…"

It was "Secret Forest" from the Chrono Trigger soundtrack wasn't it? My respect for sensei died a little bit right there… _Only a moron would try to kill something that's already dead! _

Despite my intentions, I found myself slowly starting to drift into slumber, my head slightly dipping every so often before I was able to catch myself. I lightly slapped my cheek to jog me out of my dazed stupor.

Even though I had only made that "tired" remark earlier as an excuse, I suppose it really wasn't such a stretch to say that I was feeling a bit drained lately.

However, the thing is I really had no reason to be tired in the first place. My first class started relatively late in the day, so it wasn't like I had to wake up at the crack of dawn or anything. Sure, class was tedious but I didn't really expend much energy during lectures and I usually kept to myself so I didn't spend that valuable energy talking to classmates either. Also, I didn't engage in any clubs or ever hang out with friends or anything so I was stumped.

Perhaps my tiredness came from this lethargy itself. Sometimes simply doing nothing in itself was enough to make one tired. Hanging out with friends makes you feel like you're doing something worthwhile so when you wake up the next day, you feel energized and rested. That kind of tiredness is nothing that can't be fixed with a quick nap or some sleep.

However, the other kind of tiredness that involves lazing around with no passion or motivation to do anything is one that perpetuates itself. The more tired you are of being tired, the more tired you become. I suppose it made sense that I fell under the latter category.

After a while had passed with no conversation being exchanged, I began to grow a little bit uncomfortable.

Normally I was the master of long silences, but since conversation usually came easy to me around Hiratsuka-sensei, it felt strange to not say anything for so long.

Occasionally I would think of some stupid tidbit or trivia and try and start a conversation, but each time the words on my tongue died before I could express my thought. Yeah, I wasn't going to stoop to making pointless conversation just to make myself feel like less of a loser. I couldn't really think of anything meaningful to say so eventually I just gave up and looked out at the passing scenery instead.

Chiba during the late autumn season was truly something to behold. Although most of the prefecture was filled with industrial areas and shops, the trees that lined the street paths and those in the parks shone brilliantly in many different shades of yellow, orange, and red. With the sun nearly setting, it almost looked like the foliage in the city was set ablaze. Even though the sky was filled with clouds today and was more grey than usual, the scenery still gave off a warm atmosphere.

Eventually, we arrived in the downtown district of Chiba, where many familiar buildings and shops came into view.

Peering out the window, I saw the old theatre that I used to go to every once in a while and the bike shop I stopped by a few times to get my tires serviced. In addition, there was the bookstore I used to frequent and a Destiny shop as well. Yep, yep. Chiba was still a shining beacon of prosperity.

Although it had probably been only three months since I was here last, I almost felt nostalgic looking at these places I used to visit so frequently.

Stupid brain, didn't you hear what I said earlier? Nostalgia is an illusion you fool! Brain-tsuda you idiot!

As I continued peering out the window, I noticed that we drove straight past both the local coffee shop and the Starbucks on the main street. It was a little disorienting, as I had expected sensei to pull into the one of the parking lots or at least slow down a little bit. In my confusion, a grunt escaped from my throat.

"Uh?"

I guess sensei understood what I meant because she answered me almost instantly.

"I'm actually feeling kind of hungry so I decided to change course to somewhere else instead. I hope that's okay with you."

Darn it sensei. You really don't consider anybody else's feelings do you? And it's not like I have much of a choice or anything.

"Hey, you're the one driving."

I responded back after resting my face upon my hand and continued to stare out the window.

"Good, because there's this really good bistro-style restaurant a little ways out that serves the most delectable rib-eye that's marbled to perfection."

To seemingly prove her point, sensei threw an enthusiastic thumbs up in my direction.

Uh...are you the Vash of cured meats or something? I half expected her to begin chanting _Love and Meat! Love and Meat!_ at me for a second there...

Also, isn't it just a little cruel to talk about eating cows so nonchalantly? I mean they wouldn't exactly be my first choice for a pet but they are pretty cute.

For example, it's impossible to find Lambo Bovino uncute. But then again, if his name is Lambo, doesn't that mean he's actually a lamb? If that's really the case, then I guess eating him might be fair game...

"Oh, and their sweet potato fries are fried just the right amount so that they're crispy but not too greasy you know? That's not to say their regular fries are bad or anything, it's just sweet potatoes have always been a personal preference of mine…"

Wow her mouth was moving a mile a minute.

"Fumu, but then again, their chicken piccata is also delicious. But the pasta… oh the pasta with scallops is such a potent combination of seafood and Italian that's truly bursting with flavor…"

Her excitement was obvious and she was practically drooling all over the steering wheel as she described the meals in detail. Isn't this person just getting a little bit too into this? My face contorted a little bit out of disgust. Gross. Slightly cute, but mostly just gross.

"Oh, and it's a very homey and quiet atmosphere to boot."

Ah. I knew what that meant.

Sensei probably wanted to have a long conversation with me and maybe interrogate me about my goals and future plans or something. Suddenly, I really wished I had refused her at the door when I had had the chance.

It was at that moment that my stomach let out a small growling sound out of nowhere.

Darn it. I thought I had mostly been tuning her out, but I guess my brain subconsciously reacted to her words and how good she made the food sound. Great, not only was my brain betraying me today, but so was my stomach.

"Sounds good to me," I tried to keep my tone flat but the hunger probably leaked out of my voice because sensei made a small smile as she turned her focus back to the road.

We continued driving along the main street for a while until sensei took a detour into a part of the neighborhood that I was unfamiliar with.

After about ten minutes, we finally pulled into the parking lot of a medium-sized, one-story building that was bordering a residential area. The building was relatively modern looking from the outside and was decorated with glaring neon lights and faux wood paneling across its exterior.

According to the obnoxiously large sign that hung above the entrance, the restaurant was called "ROOTS" and was spelled out in English.

…Was that really necessary? I mean we do have a word for roots in Japanese, you know. Quit trying so hard to appeal to foreigners.

Once sensei found a parking spot, she quickly switched the vehicle into first gear and unbuckled her seatbelt. I followed suit and made my way out of the car after stretching my body a few times.

"Well, here we are."

Sensei led the way and opened the door for me and I mumbled a quick thanks in response.

Upon entering, the cozy atmosphere of the restaurant became apparent as very soft jazz music played in the background and the lingering scent of steak floated through the air.

We waited near the entrance for a while until a pretty young girl with shoulder length brown hair made her way to the podium and greeted us. I took a seat on a padded bench while Hiratsuka-sensei talked to the woman about what I could only assume were our seating arrangements or the daily specials or something.

Looking around, I noticed that most of the patrons here were relatively young and were probably mostly undergraduate or graduate students. I could see this restaurant being a haven for the hip youngsters who thought Starbucks was too mainstream but couldn't afford to frequent the fancier upscale restaurants in Chiba. Furthermore, they probably didn't want to be associated with the old fogies that tended to eat at classic family-style shops and plus, since the place seemed fairly new, they could brag to all their friends that they ate here before it was cool.

"Oh ROOTS? I knew about that place waaay before anyone else did. Yes I'm special, better believe it!" or something along those lines. Basically I hate hipsters is what I'm saying.

Still, with the youthful atmosphere the place gave off, it was pretty obvious why sensei would recommend this place. She probably thought she blended in perfectly here didn't she…

With these random thoughts occupying my mind, I began tapping my foot slightly. I had sat patiently while the two talked but since a few minutes had passed at this point, I was beginning to grow listless. What was taking so long?

Suddenly, a bubbly laugh escaped from the hostess.

Well that explains that. Hiratsuka-sensei and the hostess were probably engaged in a bout of small talk and that's why it was taking so long. I usually wouldn't have cared, but because I was feeling a little bit grumpy and also hungry, I was a tad annoyed.

Very smart though, restaurant owner. This was a common tactic employed by pretty much all eateries—four star restaurants and ramen shops alike. They always station a young, attractive girl with an agreeable face at the forefront of their store that serves as the "face of their business". The age and physical traits of the girls might be different, but their purpose was unfailingly the same. They would engage in small talk and generally try to create a comfortable atmosphere for you to enjoy your meal in. Because of this, even if the service and food were unsatisfactory, you would still feel guilty for skimping out on the tip. In fact, depending on how charming the girl was, you'd probably end up tipping more than the meal cost instead…

However, because I was bad at chit-chat, the conversation usually wouldn't last longer than a few seconds and we would end up standing in silence until she showed me to my table. If my life were a light novel, there would be two lines of dialogue between us, followed immediately by three rows of "…"

"Hikigaya."

I was snapped out of my useless thoughts as I heard sensei's voice call out to me. She motioned to me and I walked towards her with my hands in my pockets.

"Hikigaya, you remember Isshiki Iroha from Sobu High, don't you?"

My feet abruptly stopped moving.

…Isshiki?

I raised my face that was previously angled towards my shoes and lo and behold, there stood the student council president from my high school days.

Even though it had been more than a year since I last saw her and even longer since we had made conversation, Isshiki Iroha looked more or less the same.

She was wearing a black vest over her white formal shirt in what was undoubtedly her hostess uniform. Her brownish hair had grown a little bit but still hung around her neck, inching just a bit past her shoulders. Her golden eyes were still warm and had a tinge of girlishness to them.

I don't know why but I had almost expected meeting an old classmate from high school to be some sort of groundbreaking experience. It had only been a little over a year since graduation of course, but still…

"Hi senpai, remember me?" Although she spoke with a cheery tone that seemed to exuberate bubbliness, I noticed a slight hint of hesitation in her voice.

"Ah yeah. How's it going?"

"It's going preeetty well."

Isshiki swayed back and forth on her heels as she talked and did that thing where she drew out her syllables to sound cuter. To say it was annoying would be a little bit of an uuundeeerstaaateeemeeent.

"I got into Keizei University for economics and it's been suuuper fun. I live on campus and I've made a ton of friends. Parties and stuff every day, ya know."

No I don't know actually, but wow talk about an information dump.

The amount of humble bragging injected into her speech was definitely something to be admired (or feared). Is this how normal people caught up with each other?

Unsure of exactly what to say to that, I responded with a simple nod.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Damn it, the hostess curse lives on then.

"Um… how's your university life been going?" Isshiki asked after a while to break the silence.

I hated open-ended questions like this. If you said too much then you ended up looking conceited and self-centered as if you were waiting the entire time for the conversation to shift focus to you. However, if you didn't say enough then there was a good chance your mom would end up saying "oh he's just quiet" or "he doesn't like to talk that much" while you stared at your shoes.

Basically, either way you played it, it was a lose-lose situation. To put it into baseball terms, catching up with others was a guaranteed no-hit game.

"The same as always. I go to Chuo Gakuin."

"Ooh… wow that's a pretty good school senpai. I'm impressed. You entered for liberal arts right?"

"Well, for humanities and writing studies, yeah basically."

Answering a person's question by rephrasing their ideas and saying it with different words. That's a loner's way of surviving in a conversation.

"So why are you working here? I didn't think you were the type to do anything unnecessary." I questioned her.

"Woow senpai! Is that what you think of me?"

Isshiki put her hand to her chest in what I was guessing was mock surprise.

"As Isshiki told me earlier, she's working because she needs money to buy books and other study materials for class right?"

Even though the question was addressed to someone else entirely, Hiratsuka-sensei found a weakness in the defenses of the conversation and exploited it immediately. Wow she busted through wall Iroha just like that! That's armored-variant titan Shizuka Hiratsuka for you I guess.

Even though it was impolite to force one's way into a conversation, I knew how it felt to get excluded so I shrugged it off.

"Um… well kind of I guess. It's for other reasons too…"

Isshiki responded in a slightly broken, roundabout manner of speech. Hiratsuka-sensei's face that was practically beaming from her earlier success in infiltrating the conversation slightly contorted in confusion.

"You see… my parents bought me a car as a graduation gift but they said I had to pay for my own gas and stuff so… Well, yeah it's just that. What good's a car when there's no gas to put in riiight?" Isshiki said with a small smile.

That's much less noble of a reason… but I knew where she was coming from. In the end, as long as things continued to cost money, there was just no way to avoid selling your soul to keep food on the table.

"Anyways, what brings you guys here?" Isshiki said, peering at my face.

"Hikigaya and I are just catching up, and I thought I'd treat him to a meal. Who knows how long it's been since he's gotten out of the house."

Hiratsuka-sensei was the one who answered the question, and with an unnecessary jab at my social life I might add. Hey, I could be the most popular guy at university for all you know. I mean I'm not, but I could be if I wanted to (lol).

"Oh I see, that sounds fun. In that case, I'll show you guys to your table then okaay?"

Isshiki made a small smile and picked up two menus from underneath the podium.

"Follow me!"

We did as instructed and trailed after her into the restaurant. From the looks of it, the place was pretty packed and most of the tables near the windows were occupied as to be expected.

The restaurant was surprisingly big—at the very least, a lot bigger than it looked from the outside.

However, despite the amount of people here, the mood was pretty relaxed and the atmosphere was quiet like Hiratsuka-sensei had said it would be. When we all finally reached an empty booth, Isshiki placed both menus on the table and slightly scooted out of the way so that we could slide in.

Sensei slid into the further away bench and I sat in the opposite one. The seats were surprisingly plush and comfortable. The lone lamp that hung above the booth did the bare minimum in lighting our table and created a rather subdued atmosphere.

"A server will be over soon to take your order. If there's anything special you need, you can call me!"

Isshiki spoke energetically all the while staring intently at my face. I averted my eyes from the unexpected attention.

If your hospitality requires you to concentrate solely on my face then I could do without it.

After giving us a small farewell wave, Isshiki left and Hiratsuka-sensei and I turned to our menus and began to browse.

Upon opening the menu, it became obvious that this place specialized in Western food, with the occasional Japanese specialty dish thrown in there for good measure. All of the food looked really good to my hungry stomach, but a pasta dish featuring scallops especially caught my eye. The menu also had paella and other European dishes, but I was satisfied with my initial choice. I closed the menu and folded it up on top of Hiratsuka-sensei's.

"Decided already?"

Sensei inquired with a smile.

"Yeah, I'll probably go with the scallop pasta." I answered her.

"Fuh, good choice. That's one of my favorites. I'm tempted to join you but I'm probably gonna go with the rib-eye and mashed potatoes instead."

Is it really smart to be eating such a fatty meal sensei? I hear a woman's metabolism begins to slow down after they near their forties…

I contemplated saying my thought aloud but I didn't want to risk my stomach getting imploded before I got a chance to eat so I settled for guffawing inwardly instead.

Almost as soon as we finished deciding, a waiter came over and introduced himself to us after placing two glasses of ice water on the table. After we both gave our orders, the waiter took our menus and strode away with a polite "be back soon".

"So how are your advanced writing courses going? Those classes used to kill me back in my college days."

Sensei aimed her eyes towards me while sipping from her drink.

"I followed the four-year plan they laid out on the website for my major so exactly like you'd expect basically. I just finished the intro series and I'm taking my first advanced course on philosophy and human-centric behaviors this semester."

"Human-centric behaviors huh? Why do I have a feeling that your university teachers are just as disgusted by your reports as I was when you were in high school?"

"Ha… It's good to know you still think so highly of me."

I deadpanned and sensei made a grin through her straw.

"Anyways you're pretty far off actually. In fact I'm rank 2 in my class right now."

Even though I tried to say it nonchalantly, my chest puffed out a bit as I recounted my meager achievement.

"Wow, I'm impressed Hikigaya. Your grades were never anything to sneeze at, but getting rank 2 in a writing class at a liberal arts school is impressive. Then again, you were taught by the best Japanese lit teacher in Chiba so I guess it's not that big a surprise."

Judging from sensei's face, it looked like she was enjoying her own joke a bit too much.

"I don't really remember being taught so much as being punched every time I turned a paper in…"

I grimaced as I recalled the abuse that I used to take at the hands of the one known as Shizuka The Iron Fist Alchemist. A phantom pain chose to swell up in my ribs at that moment.

"Fumu, don't pretend that I wasn't fair with my penalties. I only punished the delinquents that really deserved it."

"Yeah but I'm the only one that you ever physically harmed you know…"

"It appears that you were the only one that deserved it then."

Sensei made a broad grin and an airy laugh escaped from her nostrils.

Yeah yeah, yuck it up.

"Heh heh… heh hhh,"

However, surprisingly sensei's laughs didn't stop and eventually devolved into a series of rapid snickers and chortling giggles. She sounded eerily similar to my vacuum cleaner when it picked up a paper clip… _Tee Tee Tee Hch Tee… _

In spite of myself, a small smile made its way across my own lips as sensei's shoulders finally stilled after a good few minutes of laughing. Although it was at my expense, overcoming the somewhat stifling atmosphere from earlier allowed me to finally relax a bit.

"Ha ha… ha…" she wiped away a tear from her eye as she came down from her giggle fit.

"It's really not that funny. I didn't think high school was a particularly violent place until you were assigned as my teacher."

I said that after she had finally calmed down.

Sensei merely smiled in response as she took a sip of water to soothe her parched throat. After a few moments, she looked at me.

"Hey Hikigaya."

I nodded politely in acknowledgement.

"Do you ever miss it sometimes… you know, Sobu and the service club and everything?"

"…"

My breathing unconsciously slowed for some reason. For such an innocuous question, I felt unusually winded. As a result, my voice came out huskier than normal.

"What's to miss? Getting ignored by my classmates? I don't need to be in high school for that to happen. In fact I'm doing pretty well at it at university."

Although I had intended my answer to be sardonic, somehow the words sounded a little empty even to my own ears.

Sensei made a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"That's a shame. I still look back on those days rather fondly."

It was at that moment that the waiter came around and placed two large plates of food on the table.

"The seafood pasta with scallops and alfredo… and the rare rib-eye with mashed potatoes and string beans on the side."

Although sensei's rather sentimental whisper had made me feel a little uneasy, the arrival of our meals snapped me out of my thoughts and made my mouth instinctively water.

My pasta with scallops dish looked delectable and I quickly unfurled my fork and knife from the napkin and began to dig in. Sensei followed suit and completely smothered her sirloin in steak sauce before tearing away at it with aplomb.

The food, as expected, was completely delicious and I didn't put my fork down until I was nearly half way through the plate. As I paused to take a gulp of my water, sensei put her utensils down and reinitiated the conversation.

"So, shall we have a look at your latest paper then?"

Sensei put out her hand and retracted her fingers back and forth like one of those old-fashioned yakuza members that would motion as if to say, "I've got the product, now show me the money".

I swallowed the water in my mouth and reached into my knapsack to pull out my laptop. After opening up the document with my rough draft on it, I handed it over to sensei who grabbed it and immediately started to scan over its contents.

I continued to dig at my pasta as I waited for a response. After a few minutes, Hiratsuka-sensei finally spoke up.

"…This definitely reeks of your handiwork alright."

"In how poignant it is as a commentary on human motivations and collective thinking?"

"No, in the amount of sophistry that's been spewed onto these pages."

She responded with an offended look on her face.

"I can practically imagine the look in your dead fish eyes and the crooked smile on your face while you were writing this…"

"Hey I'm pretty sure I never smile while doing work…" And you can't blame me for my eyes. They're natural so just let a boy be himself I say!

"All the same, I _can_ at least see what you're getting at. What you said about nostalgia being an illusion does make sense…"

Sensei paused for a brief moment and looked at me from behind the computer.

"…but couldn't the opposite be said too? Often when one looks back on their past, they fail to remember the small moments of joy and instead only focus on the bad times."

Sensei set the laptop down and focused her attention entirely on me with a somewhat strange look in her eyes. Even though she didn't say anything particularly surprising or absurd, the way she spoke made it clear that she was hinting at something other than just the contents of my paper. The atmosphere, which was light and airy before, suddenly became thick again. I awkwardly pulled at my shirt collar to relieve some of the heat that was radiating off of my skin.

"T-True… but that just reinforces what I said about the true nature of regret. Because regret is such an unavoidable human response, the brain harps on the past for ridiculous amounts of time and tries to alter it from what it really was. You're right in that it can manifest itself in many different forms, but even so, my argument still stands I think. "

My voice came out in sort of a fluster and my eyes instinctively fell to my plate after meeting with sensei's intense gaze.

"And your argument is that every action we take in our lives eventually leads back to regret?"

"Yeah, basically."

"So what you're saying then is that there's not one single moment in your life that you don't regret?"

She gave me a look that was hard to describe, but if I were hard pressed to do so, I would probably say that her gaze was equal parts challenging and somber. I'd never really bothered to take particular notice of them before, but sensei had very large and deeply emotional eyes. If I were American, I would probably be inclined to call them "powerful" or even "soulful".

"No, there are plenty of moments in my life that I don't necessarily regret or would change. But to say that I'll always think this way and that in ten years I'll look on my past with that same appreciation would be stupid. Give it another twenty years or maybe ten after that and I could probably think of a better decision that I could've made in any given moment throughout my youth. It's only natural to look back and wish you had done things differently. Asking yourself "What if?" questions is like breathing air. It's something that you don't even think about, yet you do it constantly anyways."

I spoke fast and practically exhaled my sentences. My voice that was firing off words at a rapid pace grew deeper as I finished talking.

"Mmm. I'm not sure if I like that response."

Hiratsuka-sensei was wearing a stern expression as she answered me. I simply glared at her and waited for her to finish her thought. After lighting a cigarette that she pulled from her coat, she continued.

"Many people use their failures in the past as excuses to justify their complacency in the present. Yes, having regrets is something completely natural, but how you choose to deal with those regrets is what really matters. If you let those regrets take control of your life, you'll never be able to enjoy the present for what it is."

She took a drag of her cigarette and puffed out a small cloud of smoke.

"Remember that even though the past is set in stone, the future is fluid and has yet to be determined."

"…"

Hiratsuka-sensei's words made sense logically but I couldn't help but inwardly scoff at them. Phrases like "Carpe Diem!" and "Live in the Moment" were ones that were constantly thrown around by those in the primes of their youths to demonstrate just how much fun they were having and how consequence-free their lives were in the first place.

But that was the thing… Those types of phrases were reserved for those who had friends and never had a single traumatic thing happen to them in their lives. For those who didn't "have", every moment was merely a struggle to survive and avoid further hits to his own pride. Telling a person like that to "live every day like his last" was akin to beating a coma patient over the head with a baseball bat. Ergo, nothing would change.

I don't know why, but in that instant, a sudden pang of annoyance flashed through me. I tried to swallow it down but it found its way out as I practically spit out my response.

"Discounting what happened in the past is the same thing as throwing away a part of yourself. Even if you regret your actions and decisions immensely, to sweep them under the rug and pretend that they're not a vital part of yourself is completely retarded. Trying to move forward without taking things like that into account doesn't change a damn thing."

My breathing had increased without me knowing and my breaths came out slightly ragged. My hand that was under the table was shaking and my leg was bobbing up and down on its own. Hiratsuka-sensei stayed quiet for what felt like at least ten minutes, but in reality was probably closer to one.

"…Source…you?"

Hiratsuka-sensei looked at me with what was decidedly a look of pity. Although she had been giving me very curious glances all night, it was only then that I realized that they were all mixed with slight tinges of that genuinely despicable emotion. However, this was the first one that I could truly describe as one-hundred-percent pitying.

It was beyond irritating.

"What_?_" I bit out.

I could feel the anger dripping off of my own words. My mouth was dry and I struggled with my shaky hands as I grabbed my cup of water and swallowed down the rest of its contents.

"Hikigaya…" Sensei said softly. "I wasn't being hypothetical about what I said earlier… I was talking about you."

I set my cup down roughly and tried to make sense of the words I was hearing.

"Huh? What does any of this have to do with me?" I kept my voice short but even I could tell it was taut with emotion.

Although the stare I was giving sensei probably appeared perplexed, it was only because I had practiced my facial expressions enough that this look could fool somebody.

"I know this is a delicate matter, but I feel like mincing words would just make this harder to say."

She took a long pause as if to mentally prepare herself for what she was going to say next. A bead of cold sweat ran down the back of my neck.

"Simply put, you haven't been yourself for more than a year now. To say that you're a ghost of your former self might be an exaggeration, but I feel like it's not too far off the mark."

There was that damned look of pity again.

"It started with what happened during those last months of third year, and even though I knew you were suffering, I told myself that you could and would get past it on your own… like you always have."

My stomach lurched as I listened to sensei's words.

"I told myself that I didn't want to get in your way or offer you meaningless words of comfort…"

Although her next words were no more than a whisper, I heard them clearly.

"…but the fact that I didn't help you when you needed me most is something I'll always regret."

She paused. Under the dim lighting, sensei's face looked hollow.

"When graduation came around, you seemed more or less back to your normal self and I was relieved. That was the first time I was able to breathe comfortably in months. And the months after that when we met up at my insistence, you seemed just like the student I knew before that would spout off useless arguments and give smart-ass responses to everything I said."

Sensei rubbed back and forth at her eye with the backside of her hand. Her cheeks were tinged pink and looked slightly swollen.

I sat stock-still and felt light-headed. I felt as though I was watching this conversation unfold from the rafters above.

"For that, I have no choice but to applaud you. Your acting skills have improved incredibly in the last few years. I was almost convinced that you were fine after our first few meetings, but it was always these small gestures that made me second-guess myself and shattered my confidence."

"A small, bitter smile when I came to pick you up. Your insistence on changing the subject whenever I wanted to discuss anything serious with you…" She continued. "Your hand trembling ever so slightly when passing a long-haired girl on the street."

I squeezed my thigh with my hand to try and still its irregular recoils.

"You haven't talked to a single person from high school since that day, and I highly doubt you've made even a modicum of effort to get close to a single person at university."

"You've been ignoring me for months and Komachi has told me that you come straight home every day and shut yourself off in your room until morning. You don't talk to your parents or your sister and when you do, you lose your temper at the snap of a finger..."

"What gives you and Komachi the right to talk about me behind my back?" I growled, my words venomous. My fist instinctively curled up under the table and my eyes began to feel hot.

Sensei looked slightly taken aback but she answered with a soft voice.

"...Because we care about you Hikigaya. That's what gives us the right."

I was met with another emotional gaze.

"You have to realize that when you're hurting, it isn't just you that's in pain."

I stared at her with a malicious gaze. Crudely gossiping about me means you care about me? What an absolutely shitty way of showing it.

A tear streamed down sensei's face as she looked earnestly at me.

A part of me wanted to turn away but I looked straight on anyways. I opened my mouth partway but closed it almost immediately. A silence fell over us for the next few moments.

I looked at my plate, but the sight of the food made bile rise up in my mouth.

"Look…I don't know the exact details about what happened between you and Yukinoshita on that day… or even Yuigahama for that matter, and I'm not sure I want to know. But what I do know is that when the Service Club was finally dissolved, there was a huge part of you that dissolved along with it."

My heart was beating out of my chest at this point and aside from sensei's voice, the only thing I could hear in my ears was the sound of rushing blood.

Sensei stared at me directly in the eyes and I returned her gaze without so much as a blink.

"What does she have to do with any of this?" I tried to question her in the calmest possible tone I could muster up, but once again my voice was sharp.

Sensei sniffled slightly and took a deep breath after wiping at her nose with her index finger.

"I don't think you've ever really gotten over what happened. You're still letting your past dictate your life and I feel like that's destroying you inside. Like I said before, you'll never find happiness if your bitter memories and regrets are constantly clouding your vision. I'm not saying you should ignore what happened… but you need to get closure so you can finally move on."

The anger that had slowly been building up inside of me threatened to spill forth, and as hard as I tried to push it down and contain it, I simply was unable to. Something inside of me snapped at that moment.

"First, there's nothing to move on _from_. Don't act like I'm so weak that something like that could completely change who I am." I snapped. My tone was violent and raw.

"And second, I've dealt with everything in my life by myself so even if something was wrong I certainly wouldn't need help now… not from my parents. Not from Komachi. But especially not from my washed-up old teacher who's more miserable than me."

I practically shouted the last part. That was probably the loudest I had ever heard my voice. Every person in the booths around us turned their attentions towards me and began whispering, but I couldn't and didn't care to make out what they were saying.

"_This is none of your business._"

I snatched my laptop from the table and forcefully shoved it into my knapsack after slamming it shut. I stood up and forced my numb legs to cooperate as I threw myself out of my seat.

My plate fell over onto the bench with a loud crash and I could hear the clanks of the utensils as they clattered onto the floor behind me.

Each step I took was hard and felt laborious, but I kept my stride and slammed foot after foot onto the ground as I walked.

I passed the other tables and shouldered the glares of all of the annoyed and dumbfounded customers. "_Fuck off_" was the thought that ran itself through my head over and over again.

When I finally neared the restaurant's entrance, I saw Isshiki talking with a young couple that looked curiously at me. Isshiki peered at my face with puzzled eyes.

"Senpai, what happened? Are you—"

_Ring_.

I shoved my way through the door and made my way out into the cold, blistering wind. I had no idea where I was, but I continued to walk on regardless. My face was red and my breaths were hot and heavy in the cold air.

My mind was in a state of frenzy and it was hard to think clearly about anything. As a result, all that was left of my thoughts was a cluster of anger and some other emotion that I couldn't quite identify.

_Komachi's been talking about me behind my back… What a despicable little sister._

_Sensei needs to mind her own god damn business. I don't need anyone's pity…._

_I didn't expect what we had to last forever, but somehow the pain was inexplicable anyways._

_I don't know why I did what I did. What's wrong with me?_

I stomped and strode until my legs were aching with pain and acid build-up. I ignored their protests and pushed on anyways. The wind was biting and sharp, and tore at me through my thin long-sleeved shirt. I tried my hardest to resist it but a lone shiver ran its way through every single part of my body—from my toes to the tips of my fingers.

After moving without rest for what felt like hours, I could feel the adrenaline draining from my system as my steps began to slow and my breaths became increasingly labored. I suddenly winced and nearly toppled over myself.

My legs burned as if someone had ran a hot knife across my calf muscles. Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked at my surroundings for the first time since I had left the restaurant.

Judging from the patches of rubber and playground equipment around me, it appeared that I had somehow found my way into a small park. I looked around quickly for a place to sit down when I spotted a swing set on the blacktop.

I dragged my legs over to it with as much strength as I could muster, letting out short breaths to try and relieve the pain.

When I finally reached it, I collapsed and let my body drop onto the rubber strap. I tried to grab the chains with either hand to support myself but the strength had gone out of my arms as well and they simply fell to my sides instead.

I sat there for a while, simply listening to the sounds of my own shallow breaths.

What a pitiful display. I was cruel to one of the only people in my life that genuinely cared about me.

I stared up at the sky with my hands in my pockets.

In this dimly lit residential area, there was hardly any light pollution, and as a result, I could see the luster of the stars shining brightly in the night sky above.

As I peered up, a small speckle of light caught my attention. I wiped the moisture from my eyes to see a single star drift ever so slowly down as if it were vaulting itself from the heavens, albeit at a record-breakingly slow pace.

For some reason the sight of that faint flickering had brought to mind something I had heard once before.

'There is nothing beautiful about a falling star. Although it might be temporarily pleasant to watch as it streaks by in the night sky, in the end, all it is is a purposeless piece of debris that is fated to fall. For all its brilliance, it cannot stop itself from crashing headfirst into the Earth no matter how desperately it wishes and longs to change and correct itself. There is nothing beautiful about a falling star.'

The words reeked of cold logic and unwavering confidence but there was a keen sense of sadness to them somehow as if their owner were reflecting on something personal, something she had herself once felt.

I kept my eye on the little orb as it came gently crashing down to Earth.

Weren't stars supposed to be brighter than this? This one looked strangely dim.

I watched it for what felt like ages, but it never gained any acceleration or fell faster nor slower than before.

It was moving yet unwavering at the same time. It was a contradiction to be sure, yet it was still beautiful in its own way.

In fact, maybe it was because of this reason that it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

I blinked a few times to clear up my watery eyes and when my vision refocused, the star had finally fallen to its destination.

A single snowflake landed directly on the tip of my nose.

My entire body underwent a violent fit of shivering.

_Snow? _

What I had thought to be a falling star was in reality just one lone speck of snow.

I closed my eyes and felt something wet on my cheek.

_A regret_. Because the past is irreparable, regret is the one thing that's a guaranteed constant.

Because of this, it's only natural that humans would want to look back and think about what they could have and should have done differently.

But this kind of thinking is exactly where the problem lies.

You can always look on the past, be it with fondness or bitterness, but the outcome is always the same. The past is set in stone and you're unable to effect even the most miniscule change despite your best efforts.

You can reminisce for days at a time, and not a single thing will have been altered.

However, that's not to say your regrets don't bring forth negative consequences anyways. Saying that would be a bold-faced lie.

By regretting your actions, what you actually accomplish is denying and shunning your past self.

You look back at the person that you were and you ridicule and despise him for being unable to make the right decisions and for acting brashly and stupidly. However, the person that you were in the past was, is, and will still forever be you.

You can blindly delude yourself into thinking that your past self is a completely isolated entity from your present self, but that's all it is—a delusion.

Changing yourself isn't as simple as forcing yourself to be more talkative and outgoing around your peers, nor is it constructing a false bravado every time you talk to a girl. It's not changing your entire wardrobe nor is it forcing yourself to go to the gym everyday so that you can slave away in hopes of attaining a perfect body.

Real change is something nearly impossible to achieve, and even more difficult to maintain.

As a result, it can be said that regret is a form of evil in itself. By having regrets at all, what you're really doing is obliterating your past self and everything he believed in.

You deny and discredit all of his morals, values, and actions because in retrospect, you feel that the decision you made was the wrong one.

Regret is self-abasement, self-immolation, intellectual and moral suicide. Regret is an absolute perversion of everything you once stood for and a blatant denial of the person that you once were. Regret is putting a bullet through the brain of your true self.

But even with all that said.

I can still say without a doubt that,

_I regret everything._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Regardless, The Inertia of His Dull Life Propels _Him_ Forward.**

It was the first time in three years that Chiba had seen snow.

Light, feathery flakes had been falling from the sky for approximately three days now, and the ground was just finally beginning to show signs of the fact. Small piles of snow littered the ground and bunched up around the bases of the mailboxes and trees like little clumps of powdered dough.

I sat up in my bed and blinked to clear the crust from my vision.

As I looked out my bedroom window with sleep-grogged eyes, I noticed a couple of the neighborhood kids making tiny snowmen and half-assed snow angels out of what snow they could find on their lawns. They tossed snowballs back and forth at one another while running around and generally acting as nuisances to the people that were trying to sleep.

"Ugg," I groaned as I fell stomach-first back onto my bed. I wrapped the blanket tighter around my body and buried my face into my pillow. These kids are so damn noisy…

Although I had also once been an innocent child that loved to enjoy snow, these days the appearance of snow only meant a certain couple of things to me: cold and crowds.

Chiba winters weren't particularly known for being too harsh, but they were by no means mild either. Staying comfortable in this kind of weather would probably involve wearing at least 3 layers, with one of those layers being a heavy coat of some kind. Wearing anything less would result in you having to wrap your arms around your body and chanting _Gokakyu…Gokakyu_… just to avoid getting frostbite. Factor in the appearance of snow and that just meant this winter was going to be even colder.

The presence of snowfall also meant that the amount of people in public areas would increase drastically. Being a person who hated even the mere mention of crowds, the image of motionless hordes of people sluggishly droning along in Chiba Station made me not want to get out of bed in the slightest…

_Waah, mom… I don't think I can make it to school today, I might be coming down with something…_

I lazily rolled around on my bed for a few minutes until the sound of my alarm cut through the air and snapped me out my dazed state. I batted at my phone on the nightstand until it finally shut off.

I sighed once into my pillow before throwing my legs over the side of the bed and trudging into the hallway bathroom. With over nineteen years experience of being the 'not wanting to get out of bed at all, for any reason at all, I absolutely don't care about anything at all' master, I've developed a few important techniques for dealing with mornings.

Technique number one: The Lightning Wake-up.

Waking up effectively was kind of like ripping a bandage off a wound as quickly as possible. Lingering in the comfort of your blankets and telling yourself "I'll just sleep for five more minutes I swear!" just draws out your suffering and when those five minutes breeze by and your snoozed alarm blasts an annoying rhythm in your ear, you feel like murdering someone. Jumping out of bed with a start is definitely the way to go when it comes to being efficient.

As I dragged my legs, my mind fell to thoughts of the day that lay ahead of me. I really really didn't feel like making the trek to school and sitting through four grueling hours of lecture. But even so, missing a day's worth of classes would probably leave me way behind my classmates in terms of material covered, and despite how inane it sounded, I did care about my grades.

Also, even though the same couldn't be said for the professors themselves, the lectures were at least somewhat interesting so I didn't really have a good excuse to justify skipping class.

I shivered involuntarily as I walked along the hallway. As usual, it looked like I was the first one up, which meant nobody had turned the heater on yet. As a result, it was completely freezing in the house.

I quickly flipped on the switch for the heater and proceeded into the bathroom. I performed my usual routine, which consisted of relieving my swollen bladder, brushing my teeth, and finally shaving the little hairs that sprouted on my upper lip and chin. Yep, I had this routine down pat since high school.

Except for the part with the shaving. I had been skipping that last step every day for probably what was approaching three weeks now.

My mom told me that I looked like an idiot vagrant with my un-groomed facial hair jutting out in every which direction, but I simply shrugged off what she said like always.

It's not that I particularly liked how the hair looked on my face but for some reason I just didn't feel like shaving it off.

After spitting out my toothpaste, I peeked at the mirror out of the corner of my eye before immediately throwing my gaze back to the soapy water in the sink.

Okay, so maybe Hiratsuka-sensei did say at least one useful thing a few nights ago when she hinted that I wasn't looking so hot.

I angled my eyes up slowly towards the mirror as if one wrong move might suddenly send me to the shadow realm.

I let out a short breath of concentration as I adjusted my gaze.

Closer… Closer…

Keeping going… Gotta. Stay. Strong!

Judging by the wind speed in Chiba, it would probably be best if I took it slow and moved my head with a northwest incline and a tail speed of 420 km/h.

However, since it was still early in the morning, that meant that the skies would most likely be empty meaning I could throw caution to the wind. Wait a minute, what's that in the distance?

Control tower, there's a foreign object hurtling towards me! Red Alert! Too close, too close!

Wait. No, I was definitely still staring at the sink.

Getting tired of my pointless game, I looked up at the mirror and stared at my reflection head on. The person that stared back at me had thin cheeks and an unkempt mane that curled wildly and draped over the majority of his face. His beard was slightly stringy and hung nastily off his chin like thread from an old shirt. His eyes were jet black, and possessed a putrid quality to them as if they had been dragged through mud, left overnight in pickled vinegar, and finally minced with a meat hammer.

If I weren't so convinced that the figure staring back at me was in fact myself, I probably would've been tempted to call for a blessing from the holy church.

It had been a while since I was surprised by what I saw in the mirror. My hair was unruly and hard to manage at times, and I had been told on multiple occasions that the permanent scowl etched on my face made me look like an 'improper young man'. My face had never been anything worth turning heads for, and I'd always known that my eyes were rotten to the core.

But even so, those elements were what made that reflection me. That was what made it Hikigaya Hachiman.

I was satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. I was satisfied with my unchanging self.

However, this time, I couldn't help but stare at the person before me as if he were a total stranger.

The core elements of my person were there, but there was a distinctive quality to the figure that made the difference all the more noticeable.

In a hasty move, I opened up the mirror cabinet and scanned for my dad's electric razor. When I finally set eyes on it, I pulled it out and flicked on the power switch.

It was past time for me to wipe out the stragglers on my chin.

Even though I wouldn't describe the relationship between my beard and I as a friendship by any means, it still hurt a little bit to have to say goodbye so soon. What exactly are you to me beard? I'm truly sorry to say it but… an acquaintance perhaps?

As I brought the device to my face and prepared to get to work, the razor emitted a sudden whirring noise before dying completely. It looks like it wasn't connected to its charger overnight and the battery was dead…

_I mean this in the worst way possible… You're completely useless pops._

I tossed the razor into a random drawer and pulled out the can of _Proraso _from behind the mirror_._ I lathered up my face with cream and hacked away with a manual razor instead.

After all was said and done, my face bore three bloodied slices on it. They hurt like hell and blood dripped from them for a while, but I was just glad to be done with the whole situation.

I hazarded a glance at the mirror and the person that looked back at me looked a little more acceptable, but there was still a rawness to his expression that made me uneasy.

Closing the bathroom door, I made my way back into my room to get dressed and prepare the necessary materials for class.

I tossed on a couple of random layers and put on a puffy blue jacket and grey gloves. I also added a white scarf to finish off my look. Ta-da. I call it loner-chic. Available at a Daiso near you this winter... (1)

I then grabbed my notebook and stuffed it into my bag along with my laptop and a couple of pencils. After finishing my preparations, I trotted down the stairs and stopped by the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast before heading out.

As I stomped down the stairs, I heard a small moan coming from the living room couch. When I reached the last step, a small face emerged from a pile of blankets and groggily called out through the dark.

"Onii-chan? Is that you?"

As expected, the blob in the dark was Komachi.

In the lightless living room, it was hard to see much, but I could tell that she was tired given her expression and the fact that she apparently hadn't made it to her room last night before passing out on the couch. I responded shortly before making my way over to the fridge.

"Yeah."

After my conversation with Hiratsuka-sensei on Friday, I had been making an extra effort to avoid Komachi. I only left my room to use the toilet and would pretend to be asleep when she knocked timidly to check for my presence.

Normally, her concern for me would have prompted me to think something along the lines of "What an absolutely adorable little sister! ! !" but because Komachi's betrayal lingered freshly in my mind, my thoughts weren't nearly so affectionate.

As I opened the fridge and began to scan its contents, Komachi called out in a sleepy voice.

"I have something to tell you. Come over here."

I shut the fridge door after grabbing a can of MAX coffee from the top shelf and a leftover pork bun from last night's dinner. As I packed the contents into my bag, I walked towards the door without sparing a glance at Komachi.

"I don't have time. I'm running late for class."

My tone was frigid but Komachi persisted anyways.

"Wait! I really think you're gonna wanna hear this!"

"…Maybe later."

I replied and shut the front door behind me. An outsider might've considered the blatant dismissal of my little sister to be harsh, but given how I was feeling about her at this point, I considered my response to be fairly diplomatic.

I pulled my scarf tighter around my neck as I made my way into the harsh elements.

Walking along the street, I noticed that some houses were beginning to hang up Christmas decorations and other holiday items on their exteriors.

Most simply had wreathes on their front doors while the occasional few had wire snowmen or reindeer perched out on their lawns.

However, there was always that one house that went out of their way to decorate using ostentatious and excessive ornaments as if to proclaim their superiority over the rest of the neighborhood…

The house that stood in front me definitely qualified as one of those types of houses.

Little plastic gingerbread men and wax santas were littered everywhere along the porch and lawn and the lights that hung across their windows shone in alternating patterns even this early in the morning. The house clearly stood out from the rest of the other buildings in the neighborhood, but even so, there was something oddly familiar about it.

Come to think of it… This was Kawasaki's house wasn't it? Upon closer inspection, I noticed that the red Honda fit that she got as a graduation gift was parked conspicuously in the driveway.

I frowned slightly as I saw that the roof of the car was coated with snow.

For all the scrimping and saving that her parents and siblings did to buy it for her, you'd think she'd take better care of it…

But then again, that wasn't fair in the slightest.

From what I saw, Kawasaki treasured the car and I would sometimes see her in the front yard washing it off and detailing it with wax. I guess the suddenness of the snow caught her off guard too huh…

Anyways, I never exactly pegged her to be the festive type.

But I guess with the amount of small kids in her family that would probably want to go all-out for the holidays, it was to be expected. Still, damn you Kawasakis for making everyone else look bad.

As these useless thoughts swirled around in my mind, I noticed that I had finally reached my bus stop.

I took a seat on the bench and munched on the bun I had prepared earlier to keep me occupied.

After waiting for a few minutes, the bus arrived to ferry me and the other commuters over to the station.

As I boarded the bus and paid the 200-yen fee, I grimaced at the sight before me.

The bus was nearly packed to the brim and bags and people alike were strewn around the walkway and across the chairs. After paying, I walked further into the interior.

Being one of the first in line at the stop, I was able to grab one of the few remaining aisle seats near the center of the bus.

However, as I sat down and was about to bless my good fortune, an elderly woman shuffled her way up to me and let out a rather aggressive cough while eyeing me menacingly. I glared back in response.

_You picking a fight grams?_

I probably would've given her the seat, but her rudeness was rubbing me the wrong way so I pretended not to see her and averted my eyes instead. As I took out my phone and absently shuffled between apps to look busy, I heard coughs and felt hot glares on the back of my head.

My suspicions were confirmed as I looked up to see that I was the recipient of a dozen glares of death from the other passengers.

As a result, I was pretty much all but forced to concede my spot and grab onto one of the hanging straps instead.

As I looked back at the usurper of my rightful throne, I was met with a jeering smile and a set of challenging eyes that looked as if they were saying, "You never stood a damn chance kid."

My eyes narrowed. _Crazy old bat._

After around fifteen minutes, I finally arrived at my stop after getting jostled around by the other seatless patrons on the bus. One man in particular clearly didn't know the definition of personal space, as his elbows found their ways into my ribcage every few seconds like heat-seeking missiles.

After pushing my way through the crowded bus doors, my eyes fell upon a sight that I was all too familiar with. My heart skipped a beat as the beautiful sight filled my vision.

It was the one—the only—C-H-I-B-A S-T-A-T-I-O-N.

The dazzling green signs above the ticket booths, the modern-looking WcD's in the food court, the giant life-size cut-outs of Chiba's very own Chiba-kun, I simply love it all…

They say familiarity breeds contempt, but every time I see Chiba Station (and by extension, Chiba itself), all negative thoughts are instantly expunged from my mind and all I'm left with is a feeling of bliss. Now if only I could find a way to marry a prefecture… that would be a relationship worth fighting for. Come on you useless science students, hurry and finish your research on inter-prefectural-loner relationships already!

That being said, the massive amount of people saturating the station was not something that I could claim particular familiarity or fondness for.

As I had anticipated, Chiba Station was crowded to the point of absurdity. People waited exasperatedly in long lines while the hordes that had already purchased their tickets shoved and elbowed their ways to the main platform.

This enormous sea of people was more than enough to make me feel uncomfortable, and I gulped a few times before lining up with my fellow sardines in the queue.

After a long period of waiting and boredom, I was finally able to circumvent the crowds and hop aboard the main Keisei-line train.

I quickly took my place near an empty window seat and set my bag in the space next to me to create a makeshift barrier between myself and the other riders. When I had finally settled into my seat and began to feel comfortable, I took a look out the window.

The main line gave a fantastic, sprawling view of Chiba that was only further enhanced by the appearance of glistening white snow on the streets.

As I stared absently, I tried naming all of the major buildings and sights that were visible to my naked eye. There was the Chiba Port Tower, Folk Museum, Marine Stadium, and I could even make out the top of the Destinyland castle in the distance.

It was days like these that I felt truly blessed to be born in a country with such an astounding amount of cultural background.

As I stared at the city below me, my attention was drawn to the foliage that decorated the streets.

Although most of the trees that lined the prefecture were shades of red and orange just a few days ago, it seemed now that most if not all had shed their leaves in favor of bare branches.

Apparently the mere appearance of snow was enough cause for them to change the colors of their coats. Damn turncoats, the Americans would hang you for this.

After staring idly for a while, I turned my attention back to my immediate surroundings. To keep myself occupied, I pulled out a small book from my bag and began to absentmindedly read while listening to the faint music playing from the train's speakers.

Chuo Gakuin was six stops by the main line, which translated to roughly thirty-five minutes of ride time. Although it was considerably farther away than some other local universities I was considering, its writing program was known for being the best in the area and because it was relatively far from my neighborhood, it was unlikely that I would run into anybody from high school which was an obvious plus.

Between distractedly flipping through my book and occasionally messing with the settings on my phone, the time passed by relatively quickly and I had arrived at my stop before I knew it.

I exited through the sliding doors on my left and made my way onto the street-level. I took a shortcut through the city that I had discovered during my second month of commuting and arrived at the front gates of the university within a few minutes. After pushing past some students that were loitering around the entrance, I found myself at the center of the university.

Walking through campus this early in the morning was a nice change of pace from the hectic atmosphere of the station. The majority of lectures here took place after ten so it wasn't all too strange that the campus was relatively quiet this morning.

The campus itself wasn't really anything all that special in itself. It housed pretty much what you'd expect from any average university: a library, coffee shops and restaurants, lecture buildings, and offices/classrooms. I wouldn't say that I was particularly fond of it, but the atmosphere was relaxed throughout and it could be called peaceful so I couldn't really complain. There were far worse places to have to spend your day, so relatively speaking, Chuo Gakuin was actually like a paradise on earth. It was the Eden of the East of schools (2). Both are pretty average anyway.

Gazing around, I saw a couple of people reading and sharing notes underneath the large trees on the main hills while others were seated outside of a campus coffee shop chattering away animatedly while sipping at their latte'cinos. Aside from these notable exceptions however, the school was practically a ghost town.

I was jostled out of my thoughts by a sudden, large bellowing ring followed by a rapid succession of several quieter ones.

As I counted the ticks mentally, I realized that the chimes totaled eight, which meant that I was running later than I had previously thought.

I picked up my pace and shuffled to the building that my lecture hall was located in. With my knapsack fluttering awkwardly to my side every time I moved my legs, I felt somewhat self-conscious and slowed my step out of instinct.

When I finally reached the appropriate building, I trudged to the lecture hall where my class, that had already undoubtedly begun, was located. Upon reaching the entrance of the submerged hall, I placed my hands on the mechanism and began to push the door open as quietly as I could manage.

However, it appeared that I overestimated the extent of my stealthy abilities as the door let out an obnoxiously sharp creaking noise.

Most if not all of the eyes in the dark room immediately darted towards me. I gulped nervously.

"S-sorry," I whispered to nobody in particular while keeping my head down.

In a situation like this, it was best to not draw any more unnecessary attention to yourself, and plant your butt in the absolute closest possible seat you could find.

However, due to my tardiness, every seat near the back was filled up. I instinctively switched my focus to the middle rows, where I was able to locate an empty aisle seat in the corner of my vision. Phew, sweet salvation.

As I gingerly stepped down towards the center rows and prepared to unload my belongings onto the chair, a sharp voice called out through the darkness.

"This seat's taken. Keep moving."

Contrary to the voice's command, my body instinctively froze up.

I looked up to find the owner of the voice protectively stretching her hand out over the seat as if she were desperately guarding a child from some sort of offender. Do you really need to be so rude about something like this?

Technically, I could probably force her to give up the seat by causing a scene, but given that I was trying to avoid unnecessary attention, that plan was guaranteed to backfire.

Whatever, I didn't want to sit next to her anyways so that was that.

"Right."

I continued walking down the shallow steps, my eyes roving over the masses of people in the mean time. As far as I could tell, nearly every other spot in the auditorium was unavailable.

But still, I diligently continued my search until my eyes finally landed on a single, unoccupied seat.

One that sat smack-dab in front of the professor's podium.

_Oi…_

The way the seating was arranged in the lecture halls of this building, there was always a lone chair that jutted out from the uniformity of the rows behind it. Typically, this seat was reserved for a designated note-taker or a teaching assistant of some sort, but since it was empty today, I could only assume that it was available.

Not seeing any alternative, I slowly made my way to the lone seat and placed my bag on the floor after pulling out my laptop.

This was a throne truly befitting of the loner king.

After situating myself successfully, I turned my attention towards the large screen and stretched my fingers in anticipation of the arduous note taking that I was about to partake in.

Now that I had actually made my way _to_ the lecture, all that was left was to simply listen to said lecture itself and jot down any important information. However, that was much easier said than done.

It's been said that communicating is equal parts listening and contributing. Talking too much is a sure way to get on someone's nerves just like ignoring somebody would be.

Talk too much and you would be labeled an airhead, but talk too little and you'd quickly gain a reputation in class for being the shy kid. Listen too carefully and your classmates might call you creepy for remembering the details of their conversations, but listen too distractedly and you'd get criticized for being a bad friend.

Communicating effectively was a give and take on the scale of managing an economy or going gasless so that you could nexus first against a zerg (3).

However, because I'm not good at communication, it should follow logically that I was also terrible at listening—particularly when it came to things as tedious and mind numbing as lectures.

I faded in and out of consciousness as the professor went on and on about advanced grammatical principles and the merits of pleasure-reading ancient Japanese poetry.

Despite my best efforts to focus and concentrate on the slides in front of me, most of the material went in through one ear and straight out the other. Although my hands automatically wrote down some of the pertinent notes from the PowerPoint and I did pick up the occasional name and date, most of what I heard ended up drifting off into the ether.

Class passed by in this manner for another two hours until it was finally time for dismissal.

"Don't forget, your papers need to be submitted online no later than Thursday night!" The professor bellowed as student after student began filing out. "…also your grades are posted on the bulletin on the main website!"

I picked up my things and made my way out of the building.

I checked my wristwatch upon making it out into the chilly air. It was ten at this point and my stomach was beginning to feel restless as it normally did around this time.

It was still too early for lunch and a little too late for breakfast, so coffee would probably be the safest bet in a situation like this.

Although there were multiple coffee shops on campus, going to one of those held a high potential for an awkward run-in with a classmate, so I usually headed to a small local shop a few blocks away to get my caffeine fix.

I shoved my hands into my pockets as I threaded through the growing throngs of class-bound students. After a short trek, I found my way back onto the street once again.

Although the campus of Chuo Gakuin wasn't particularly worthy of note, the same couldn't really be said for the bustling urban center that it was settled upon. The street that housed it and ran directly along its main entrance was commonly referred to as "Youth Central".

By the way that's not a sarcastic nickname on my part. Seriously. That's what people called it.

This was probably due to the fact that this immediate area housed a total of three universities including the one I attended.

Because there were so many young and successful youths in the area with yen notes simply burning holes through their wallets, many businesses capitalized on this fact early and set up a multitude of shops that they considered appealing to the average youngster of today. In addition to a massive amount of boba shops, there were also UNIQLO booths, smoothie parlors, two movie theatres, an ice-skating rink, and a slathering of other random clothing and electronics stores.

…Not a single book store though.

I guess their reasoning behind that was that with the campuses so close by, students would probably just use their university libraries for any literary needs.

However, the shop owners greatly underestimated my voracious consumption of trashy light novels and sub-par manga…two things that I definitely wouldn't be able to find in the school's catalogues.

I got a thousand-yen note in my pocket that you're never ever gonna get, uh huh! I'm taking my business elsewhere! And by that, I meant I would probably do what I always did and end up reading magazine scraps on the toilet to satisfy my trashy literature quota instead.

The one good thing about this place though was that there were a large number of coffee shops to choose from. I was partial to a small, locally owned shop called 'Java Juice' that was situated on the second story of one of the further off buildings in the main complex. It was usually pretty empty and was always quiet save for the hazy elevator music that played in the background.

After crossing the street and walking up a narrow flight of stairs, I pushed open the door and made my way to the counter. I ordered a cappuccino and a small bagel and after paying, I looked around for a seat.

As anticipated, the shop was completely empty save for one girl that was staring absently out the window near the back of the store. Naturally, I planted myself into the seat that was furthest away from her in a separate corner of the restaurant.

"Ah…"

I sighed out in satisfaction after taking a sip from my coffee. The sweetness of the drink in tandem with its hot temperature gave off an incredibly pleasant flavor. I took out my phone and began to browse a random forum while taking small bites from my bagel and taking the occasional sip of coffee.

Most people see restaurants and coffee shops as purely social environments that exist only to serve as date spots or places to hang out under the pretense of studying.

Often when they see a person sitting alone using his phone, they can't help but be met with a tinge of either disgust or pity that someone would be relegated to eating without company. But really, people like those are the ones who are deserving of sympathy.

Either because their insecurities have left them so terrified of being labeled a loner, or that they simply are too social for their own goods, these types of people have never had a chance to simply sit down and enjoy a hot coffee while basking in the comfort of their own thoughts.

Sparing the time to simply unwind and occupy your own headspace was something that seemed so simple, yet at the same time was relaxing beyond description. To the trained mind, a scene like this was nothing short of nirvana.

"Hey…"

A sudden greeting caused me to lower the coffee that was otherwise en route to my mouth.

I turned my head towards the perpetrator and in doing so, caught a flash of pale, supple legs beneath a short, pleated skirt. As I looked up, I saw somebody that I wasn't at all expecting to see.

Kawasaki Saki glared at me with one hand on the strap of her bag, and the other idly on her hip.

"Uh… sup."

I responded awkwardly while pushing my phone back into my pocket. So much for not running into any familiar faces.

She looked at me with her usual glare, one that seemed to be made up of a permanent annoyance mixed with a hint of apprehension. After I stared at her for a while, unsure of what she wanted, she angled her eyes towards the chair opposite to me. Oh, She wanted to take a seat.

Why couldn't you say that instead of giving me the vaguest possible look…

"Erm, you can sit down if you want" I told her after I had cracked the puzzle that was the Kawasaki thousand-yard stare.

"Yeah, thanks."

It appeared that I was correct in my deduction as she sat down quickly after brushing off a loose straw wrapper from the chair.

However, she didn't offer any other words after that and we sat in silence for a few moments. It seemed as though we were both feeling out the situation, but given that she was the one who approached me, shouldn't it go without saying that she should be carrying the weight of the conversation?

I mean, I personally made sure that the burden of responsibility for conversation never fell on me, as I never actively approached anyone looking to talk. If it were me that had seen her first, I definitely would have turn-tailed and made my way out of the restaurant immediately. If she had somehow seen me before I could make a stealthy retreat, then I might have offered some half-baked excuse before proceeding with my original plan and leaving anyways.

However, because she was the one who sought me out, she should be the one to say what she came here to say and be done with it already.

But because she was giving me a funny look, I decided to speak first and at least try to diffuse the awkwardness that was permeating the atmosphere.

"So long time no see." I said matter-of-factly.

It really had been a while since we had properly spoken. Despite living in the same general area, we hadn't exchanged any meaningful conversation since the end of senior year, and even then our words were sparing at best.

"What do you mean? I saw you walking to the bus stop on Thursday."

"A-Ah, right…"

I shifted my eyes downwards. Damn it Kawasaki… In a situation like this, it was better to just pretend and play along with the useless pleasantries.

A bit of a silence fell over us as we sat there, coffees in hand. Her eyes were pointed idly in my direction while I tried my hardest not to look away. Eventually, I decided to just be forthright and ask her what I wanted to.

"S-so, what's up?"

My voice came out with the slightest hint of a shiver. It was definitely because of the cold weather and not how scary she was, t-that's for sure.

"What do you mean?" she looked at me with flat eyes. I coughed once.

"Basically, is there anything I can help you with? You came over here for a reason right?"

"Uh no not really. Isn't it normal to talk to someone you know when you see them… or something?"

"I see. Yeah I guess so."

I mumbled in response. She paused for a moment before throwing out another question.

"The better question is what are you doing all the way out here?"

"The school I go to is on Seitama street so I stop here for coffee sometimes."

I responded casually. She drew her eyes up to my face for a while after asking that and gave me a weird look.

"Oh Chuo Gakuin huh…" she nodded as if she suddenly remembered some small detail. Seemingly out of nowhere, she aimed another volley of questions at me.

"So…What's up with your hair and what is that on your cheeks?"

Whaa, slow down there.

How did this get brought up? Was this an interrogation or something? Stop firing off so many personal questions so suddenly, won't ya? Great, now she had me thinking in questions…

But that was Kawasaki for you I guess. Given what I knew about her bluntness and lack of decorum, I wasn't entirely surprised.

When normal people caught up, they would usually talk about random things like how their summers went, or what blockbuster movie star they had been crushing on lately. But when you shoved two loners together, you usually ended up with something like this. A string of harsh questions by one side, meek responses on the other, and awkward silences for both.

Take note ladies and gents, loners are like peas and potatoes. Mixing them just makes a big mess.

"Haven't had time for a haircut recently, and the cuts are from shaving this morning. I haven't practiced with a razor in a while."

I answered straightforwardly for the most part. It wasn't that I didn't have time to get a haircut per se, but I told a little white lie so that I wouldn't have to explain myself too much. To get off the topic of myself, I tried steering the conversation in a different direction.

"Anyways, you don't go to Chuo Gakuin too right? I haven't seen you around." I asked her out of a genuine sense of curiosity.

"No, even with that academic award I won for my test scores on the exam, I still could never afford a place like that. I go to Haru Gurori. It's a public university. It's like, what, two blocks away I think."

The way she said that first part made me recoil the tiniest bit out of sympathy for her. However, inwardly I jammed my thumbs into my eye sockets for my stupid knee-jerk reaction. Contrary to my intentions, I prescribed pity onto her when I knew for sure that she didn't want or need it.

Pitying someone when they said something honest was just about the most worthless thing you can do. Nobody's asking for it so you can just shove off with your 'genuine' concerns and ability to relate. Save the pity party for those who make it obvious they're fishing for your sympathies.

But I at least understood what she meant. My parents both worked full-time so we had some leeway in terms of our financial situation. Kawasaki, on the other hand, came from a big family, so paying private university tuition when there was a comparable but much cheaper option out there would be pointless.

Also, her explanation regarding her school was brief but I didn't really bother to press her for more information about the subject.

Haru Gurori was one of the schools that made up the "Youth Central" Trifecta Torai Torai Fosu Fosu power so that told me all I really needed to know about it (4). It also explained why she was in the area and what she was doing in the coffee shop.

Once again, the convergent evolution of loners was at play here. Though, most people probably knew it better by the official term… 'Survival of the Least Socially Fit' it was called.

I was jostled out of my wandering thoughts as Kawasaki spoke up.

"Anyways, I think Taishi wants to go to the school you go to or something. He only applied to Chuo Gakuin and all he's been talking about lately is the exam. It's honestly kind of bothersome…"

"Are you just now finding out about this? Your brother's always been that way."

I responded with what was probably an unpleasant look on my face. Oh yeah, that kid. He certainly was bothersome and in addition, it was obvious that he'd always been pining after Komachi so that naturally made him my enemy. But still, he was sort of a good kid so I couldn't hate him too much.

"Huh? I was talking about the way he's acting, not his personality…"

She fixed me with a piercing glare. K-Kawasaki you sure are frightening!

"Right… but why would he want to go there? It's good if you're into writing I guess but it's pretty mediocre for everything else. And isn't applying to only one school sort of dangerous? The saying goes like 'don't put all your eggs in one basket' or something like that."

I responded honestly. Kawasaki Taishi wanted to go to Chuo Gakuin huh? That was news to me. It was a pretty small and obscure university so I was a bit surprised that he'd even heard of it in the first place. Given that fact and its relatively unimpressive reputation in the sciences, I was curious as to why a science student like Taishi would try so hard for admittance.

"I tried telling him the exact same thing but he didn't listen. Don't take this the wrong way but for some odd reason I think he looks up to you. You're like his role model or something… not that I really get why. I mean it's been a long time since I could understand what he was thinking."

"…"

I was his "role model?" That was certainly something I'd never been called before. Aren't role models supposed to be strong and tough or whatever? Like Clint Eastwood, or Bruce Willis, or maybe the spicy kick in Tenka Ippin Ramen.

"Well I don't get it either. Your life's gotta be pretty abysmal if I'm the one you're modeling yourself after."

"Hey don't talk like that about him."

That joke was a self-deprecating one if anything... Still, I corrected myself after she let out a low growl.

"Yes, sorry ma'am. What I meant to say was that my life is the only wretched one and the purity of your brother should never have been tainted by my presence at all."

_This damn brocon…_

"That's better…" She paused.

"Besides, there's not like there's anything wrong with Chuo Gakuin right? It's expensive but since I'm close by I could take him to school every day. He wouldn't have to take the train and we would save money on gas…"

She looked at her feet in something that resembled worry. Again, she was looking out for her siblings and was constantly under the mentality of protecting and supporting her family. I always thought that was a good look on her even if she was prone to grossly overreacting as a result.

"Yeah, no. If he can pass the exam, then he should be good. I can't seriously say that it's a bad school by any means."

Kawasaki seemed a little hesitant so I tried responding in as reassuring a manner as possible.

"Okay… that's good to hear." She responded with a small, emotional sigh.

A silence fell over us for a few moments.

"So um… I didn't get a chance to really ask earlier, but how are you doing?" she questioned me.

"Uh… well you know. Nothing's changed at all. New environment, same me. There's no difference basically."

I responded in short bursts for some reason. Once again, I didn't really know how to answer questions like this.

"Considering it's you, I'm not surprised I guess."

Her words were vague and I wasn't really sure what she was getting at. As a result, I kept my response simple.

"Is that so…"

She nodded before continuing.

"You were kind of always like that in high school. I mean, you were different when you were with the club, but even so, you've always had that aura to you…"

Her sentences seemed to be growing less and less precise. As a result, I answered her uneasily.

"Aura huh… I don't really know what you mean by that."

As I said that, I turned my eyes towards the other tables and noticed that a few other customers had made their way into the shop during our conversation.

"I-It's hard to describe if you put me on the spot, but I'd say that it's something like you've always had something that not a lot of other guys have."

I was slightly taken aback by her odd response. But once again, I still didn't have sufficient information to know what the heck she was going on about.

"I know your vocabulary's limited, but could you try saying something that makes a little bit more sense…" I replied.

Uh oh! I couldn't help a smart-ass response from slipping past my lips there.

"H-huh? If you're gonna be like that then I don't see why I should be talking with you at all!" Kawasaki fixed me with a sharp glare. Her cheeks were pink and she looked annoyed.

"Never mind, sorry. I just meant that I didn't understand what you were getting at is all. Please continue with what you were saying."

I apologized with the skill of a diplomat. She looked uneasy and her cheeks were still tinged pink from what was probably annoyance, but she responded anyways.

"O-okay, fine. All I meant was that you've always been pretty well… nice when it came to helping out. N-not just you by yourself I mean, but the service club too, and when you were with the others you seemed to be even more genuinely willing to help people."

She paused.

"So if you haven't changed… then that's a good thing I guess."

"…Yeah. I guess."

I responded after taking a sip from my coffee that had gotten cold at this point.

I thought about her words for a moment. How true was what I said earlier? Was I really that same person that I was all the way back then?

I've always told myself that changing wasn't anything so simple. Small changes could be made, and small things could be accounted for and adjusted, but in the end, wouldn't it be correct to say that that person was still the same even if minor improvements were made? A Toyota Camry would be a Toyota Camry even if you gave it an expensive paint job and put a Ferrari sticker on the windshield. Change wasn't so easy…

Or at least that's what I thought anyways. According to Hiratsuka-sensei and Komachi, apparently I had changed in a way so noticeable that it had prompted their desire for intervention. From the way the conversation at the restaurant played out, it sounded like they thought I was a completely different person…But the thing was, I didn't necessarily feel any different nor was I convinced that I was acting all that different.

I was still a loner, still an above-average student in Japanese, and at my core, I was still Hikigaya Hachiman. I was still myself.

But if that were the case, then why did I look into the mirror this morning and not recognize the person that stared back at me?

"Are you ok?"

"Huh?"

A voice snapped me out of my daze.

"You looked really spaced out for a second there…"

"I'm fine. Just tired from class."

She nodded as if understanding. After a silence lingered in the air for a few moments, Kawasaki asked another question.

"By the way, how are Yukinoshita and Yuigahama doing?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to them at all."

"Oh. I just assumed since you were so close back then…" she trailed off. "Whatever happened with the club anyways? It sort of just died suddenly."

I turned my eyes away in annoyance. Was this the new default conversation-starter in Japan or something?

"Don't remember. It's been a long time."

I checked my wristwatch after answering her question. I turned it so fast that I couldn't properly see the positions of the hands on the face, but even so, I didn't bother to check again properly. I drank the remaining vestiges of coffee that rolled around in the bottom of my cup before standing and packing up my things.

"I'm gonna get going. My class is starting soon." I said.

"O-oh, yeah okay."

She looked hesitant. After a minute she called out to me as I started my walk to the door.

"…Do you want a ride home? I have room in my car."

Her offer caught me slightly off guard and I turned around to face her.

"No it's okay. I'm fine taking the train. Besides, my classes don't get out until three so…" I trailed off.

I wasn't exactly sure why she offered me a ride so suddenly but clearly it was more trouble than it was worth for both parties, so I declined.

"Mine gets out at the same time. I can stop by your school's parking lot and get you after class if you want."

"…"

She was being oddly persistent for some reason. She stood and placed one hand on the strap of her bag as she addressed me.

"Thanks, but I think I'll just take the train home. I might need to stop by somewhere and besides it might be a hassle for you," I gave a weak excuse. As hard as I tried to wrack my brain for a reason, nothing substantial came up and all I was left with was meek justification.

"No, we practically live in the same neighborhood anyways. Besides, I still owe you for helping Taishi get rid of that creepy stalker girl that one time," she answered.

My steps stilled as the incident quickly made its way into my mind. Oh that… That girl really was creepy… especially considering she was just a freshman at that point. I replied after taking a moment to remember the details.

"That? No, I didn't even really do anything. It was mostly Komachi and the— It was just work. You definitely don't owe me anything."

She looked at me with what was undoubtedly frustration.

"Come on, don't be stupid. Just accept the ride."

She was being a lot more insistent than I ever would have expected. Despite my best efforts, I was effectively backed into a corner. I sighed out.

"Ok, fine yeah."

"A-Alright. In that case, I'll wait in the parking lot at 3:15."

"Sure… thanks."

I walked out of the coffee shop after our exchange had concluded.

I wasn't really sure what Kawasaki's motives were for wanting to give me a ride home, but they probably fell along the lines of not wanting to be in my debt. Prideful people tended to hate owing anything to anybody.

After making it out of the store, I checked my watch again. 10:45.

That meant that my second class was starting in roughly fifteen minutes. To avoid being forced into another unpleasant seating situation, I decided to head straight to class instead of dawdling around.

The walk to class was short and once again I found myself in another lecture hall, albeit a slightly larger one.

The duration of this class was also 2 hours and the one immediately after that was the same. When that class finished, it looked like I would be catching a ride home with my bestest pal Kawasaki.

A quiet sigh came out through my nostrils.

Class began soon after, and as per usual, my philosophy professor immediately sprung into a lively discussion about the essence of human nature and the futility of fighting one's evil impulses.

I breathed out as I continued jotting down notes off of the slides. My sleepiness from earlier was pretty much all but gone thanks to the coffee and as a result, I was able to properly keep up with the teacher. Time passed at a decent enough pace, and I packed my things after the lesson concluded.

After that class ended, I went on to the next one.

Like before, my next class passed by neither particularly fast nor slow. Like before, I took notes when appropriate, and laughed dryly along with the other students when the professor made a crappy joke. Like before, I sat by myself.

I checked my wristwatch again in what was starting to become a bad habit of mine. 2:45.

Fifteen minutes until class ends and thirty until Kawasaki comes to get me.

A hundred ten minutes until we got back to my house, factoring traffic. A hundred thirty minutes before Komachi came home. Six hundred seventy-five until I fell asleep probably. Nine hundred forty-five minutes until I would wake up the next day for class. Ad infinitum, the tides of time flow on like always (5).

I tapped my pencil nervously against my desk. For some reason, I found myself dreading the ride home with Kawasaki.

The me in middle school probably would have been peeing himself with equal parts anxiety and excitement if he knew that he was about to ride home alone with a pretty girl in just fifteen minutes.

Sure, the me of today also felt uneasy for whatever reason, but at least I could comfortably say that it wasn't for the same reasons as before. I laughed inwardly at how different I was from back then.

There was no doubt in my mind that I had changed since middle school. But the change back then was something that I could at least be somewhat proud of.

I stopped letting my need for validation obstruct the person that I was, and as a result, I became the me that always existed yet had remained hidden. That change was hard fought and took nearly fourteen years to be realized and even then, it wasn't really so much a change as it was a destruction of the façade that I had erected for myself until that point. I was the same person, but I had changed…

If that were the case, was it really so odd to think then that I had also changed since high school? The people around me seemed to think so. Although, unlike last time, this change didn't seem like something quite so positive.

"…We'll finish the rest of the lesson on Wednesday. Have a good afternoon."

I blinked slowly after the professor delivered a final farewell and ended his lecture.

I picked up my things and headed to the parking lot. I assumed that Kawasaki had meant the main parking lot when we had made our rendezvous, so I walked there promptly. Because it was relatively close to my last class, I made it there in just under five minutes.

It looked like the snow had mostly ceased for the day, and while still grey, the sky was beginning to lighten up a bit. Even so, most of the streets were probably still coated with a thin slathering of snow, which meant that traffic would be heavier than normal.

I still had a bit of time until Kawasaki arrived so I sat on one of the nearby benches patiently and idly browsed a website on my phone. It was better to be early than late anyways. Keeping someone waiting when they were doing you a favor was a pretty selfish thing to do.

I peeked up every few seconds to watch for the sight of any and all incoming cars.

After ten cycles of my makeshift rounds of peek-a-boo, my eyes finally fell upon a shiny red Honda Fit rolling past the gates with Kawasaki at the helm.

When the car's tires pulled to a stop, I made my way over and opened up the passenger side door.

"Yo." I greeted her automatically. She nodded in response.

"Get in so we can go."

I complied, and set my bag on the car floor before buckling up.

We quickly made our way out of the parking lot, and eventually merged into the traffic after reaching the freeway.

As I had predicted, the roads were congested, and all of the lanes, including our own, were all but frozen in place.

I turned my attention from outside the window to the compact interior of the car. Although most people I knew (aside from Hiratsuka-sensei) kept their cars relatively clean, the emptiness and cleanliness of Kawasaki's cabin was on another level entirely. Everything looked incredibly well kept and there weren't any loose items rolling around on the floors. Even the radio knob was glistening under the pale light.

We sat in silence for a while. Kawasaki merely stared ahead at the traffic, while I stared out the window on my own side. The silence was ever-present, yet for some inexplicable reason it almost seemed comfortable somehow.

And that's how the entire ride passed by. Without a single word being exchanged between us two.

After enduring a painstaking two hours in bumper-to-bumper congestion, Kawasaki pulled up into my house's driveway and shifted into park.

As we pulled in, my eyes fell on a shiny, steel object in the corner of my vision. It was a small bike parked along the side of the house.

It appeared that for once, Komachi had gotten home sooner than I had, undoubtedly due to the fact that Kawasaki and I were so heavily impeded by the traffic.

After we had come to a complete stop, Kawasaki turned her gaze towards me. I gave her the expected response in turn and stepped out of the car.

"Thanks for the ride."

"Yep. No problem."

However, as I turned to leave, I caught a slight glimpse of an odd expression marring her face. Her mouth was oddly contorted and it looked like she had wanted to say something.

Had she looked like that the entire ride?

As I walked towards my house, I quickly looked back at the retreating vehicle out of the corner of my eye. Her expression was a familiar one of annoyance and detachment.

It was just my imagination, I guess.

I turned my attention back to the door. I fumbled with the keys in my hand before finally finding the right one and slipping it into the front door's lock. It opened with a click, and I made my way into the living room where I tossed off my shoes and gloves.

After sitting in snail's pace traffic for more than two hours, I felt like vomiting.

As I turned the corner to head to my room, I was met with a slightly enthusiastic voice.

"Onii-chan!"

Komachi called out to me from the kitchen. I stilled my step and turned slightly towards her.

"Huh? What is it?"

"I hope you're hungry Onii-chan cuz' I made your favorite for dinner! Beef curry with boat noodles! I even stopped by the bakery on the way home and picked up some of those red bean buns you like so much."

She looked at me and gave me what appeared to be a big grin. However, under the surface, I could tell it was slightly strained.

"Right… Thanks but I'm not really hungry right now so just save them for tomorrow for me."

Komachi's smile immediately faded and was replaced with a sullen expression.

"B-but Komachi worked really, _really_ hard on this you know…"

"Sorry. It's not like I can just force myself to have an appetite though."

I turned away from my little sister and finished the trek to my room. Truth be told, I was starving after having skipped lunch, but even so, a drawn out, one-on-one conversation with Komachi was the last thing I wanted right now.

After making my way inside, I shut the door and plopped myself onto the bed.

'_Well that was a stressful day.'_ I thought to myself. I laid unmoving on my bed for a while and listened idly to the sounds of traffic and wind coming from my slightly ajar window.

After a few minutes, I rearranged myself and flipped over onto my back.

I stared up at the ceiling.

That run-in with Kawasaki today, while unexpected, wasn't entirely annoying. At the very least, it broke the monotony that I had come to expect from my day-to-day life.

I struggled as I tried to recall the contents of our conversation. We talked about Kawasaki Taishi, entrance exams, Taishi's stalker from high school, what Kawasaki thought about me in high school, and finally the service club. Somehow, everything we talked about had eventually found its way back to conversations of Sobu High.

Between the meeting with Hiratsuka-sensei on Friday, the run-in with Isshiki on that same occasion, and finally my encounter with Kawasaki today, it felt as if I were living some sort of impromptu high-school reunion special. I hadn't run into any classmates from high school for an entire year, and suddenly, within the span of a weekend, I had been roped into talking with two of my past classmates.

I turned over sharply and squeezed my eyes closed. In addition to the throbbing that was assaulting my temples, my mind felt overworked and my muscles were sore. The cool blankets that wrapped themselves around my body felt relaxing against my hot skin and my eyelids slowly started to flutter shut.

I guess…

Now might be a good time to…

Go…

As I drifted through the misty barrier that separated me from the shadowy sinews of sleep, I saw the outline of a lonely figure perched beside the glow of the spring sun.

* * *

(1) A popular 100-yen store. Basically Japan's version of a dollar store.  
(2) Anime. Higashi No Eden.  
(3) Starcraft, a popular RTS game.  
(4) Bastardization of the Japanese pronunciation of Triforce.  
(5) Not actually a catchphrase. But if it were, this would be the place for it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The _He _of Yesterday Accepted It With Finality. **

The brilliant rays of the sun floated over Japan like a massive warm blanket, its tendrils enchanting the entirety of the seaside nation with a golden hue. The sky was painted a clear shade of blue, and the full-bodied clouds that adorned that cerulean canvas were puffy and rich. As they passed leisurely through the sky, they casted sweeping shadows that cooled the land below them.

It was hard to put into words, but the air that wafted through the atmosphere could probably best be described as fresh. While the weather was warm and bright, the surroundings were still thin and breathable.

I inhaled once as I continued to peer out at the scenery before me.

The elegant scent that floated through the air was highly reminiscent of flowers, and embedded somewhere in it was the faintest trace of honey and floral shampoo.

Occasionally, the soft spring wind would blow through the open window and disperse the pleasant aroma throughout the small classroom along with remnants of the misty sea air from the nearby coast.

In this warm weather, the cool prickle of the ocean breeze felt refreshing on the bare skin of my face.

Nearly every one of my senses was pleasantly stimulated, and the scene that was laid out before me was by all means, one of cosmic peace and utter relaxation.

So why then was my temple throbbing ever so slightly?

"That's not it at all Yukinon! I'm totally reliable when it comes to stuff like this y'know! It's not like a common occurrence or anything!"

Well, the answer to that was a simple one. One that had everything to do with the girl chattering away animatedly at my side.

The two girls who sat at the opposite end of the wooden table seemed to be engaged in a lively discussion about some or another random topic. From the sounds of it though, it seemed that one of the participants wasn't so much participating in the conversation as she was suffering a lecture at the hands of the other.

"Isn't that kinda cruel Yukinon? It's not like I forgot them on purpose or anything… I was distracted this morning by all the pretty flowers and going to the store totally slipped my mind! By the way, have you seen the sakura trees on Otome Road? They're sooo gorgeous."

As she spoke excitedly, the girl's large chest and balled up fists bounced in sync with her every word. The medium-length pink hair that rested on her head was tied tightly into a cinnamon roll style bun, and the skirt that draped over her pale legs was just short enough to offer a prominent display of the fleshy skin that laid underneath (Not that I was looking).

This girl was Yuigahama Yui. Third year at Sobu High, below-average student, and the Service Club's very own resident airhead.

"Yes, it's true that the cherry blossom trees are vibrant during this time of year, especially now that we're nearly three weeks past the equinox. However, that doesn't change the fact that you weren't able to accomplish the one task that was assigned to you. How exactly are we supposed to eat these tea cakes then… with our bare hands?"

The voice that answered was one that was so distinctive to my ears that I would probably be able to recognize it even if it were whispered across a crowded colosseum.

The tone of the voice held its normal icy edge to it, but beneath its surface, it was warm with something that sounded like familiarity and light exasperation.

"Waah I said I'm sorry already! How many times do I have to say it?"

Yuigahama whimpered sullenly in response to the harsh rhetorical question. However, after placing a finger on her chin to think, her eyes suddenly lit up and she spoke with a renewed vigor.

"Oh, I know! I could feed Yukinon! That way you won't have to get your hands dirty."

"H-huh? No that's not necessary… Come to think of it, I don't mind waiting until after school to eat my portion. Besides, I did eat breakfast this morning so I suppose I'm not all that hungry in the first place…"

"No, c'mon, it'll be fun! It's like a role reversal or something! I can pretend to be your mom and you'll be the kid who doesn't want to eat her vegetables! Ooh… but instead of vegetables, it'll be teacakes so it won't be that hard to swallow down…"

"I think I've just lost my appetite completely."

The look on her face pretty much summed up exactly how she felt about the idea of being hand fed by Yuiga-mama-san. However, that pained look of nausea eventually dissolved into a small smile.

As I glanced over at the girl sitting across from me, my eyes couldn't help but still at the sight.

The long black hair that naturally flowed behind her gleamed like silk in the bright spring light and her long eyelashes fluttered with every blink. The subtle smile that rested lightly on her lips lit up her slender face brilliantly.

As the breeze from the window swept the rich black locks away from her body, the outline of her pale nape peeked out beneath her blazer as if to inadvertently broadcast its own elegance.

Against the backdrop of the sun's iridescent rays, one could easily be fooled into believing that this person was of angelic origin.

I quickly averted my eyes after a pair of blue orbs moved slightly towards my own.

This girl was Yukinoshita Yukino. As was the case with the previous two years, she held the highest overall academic standing at Sobu High and had easily scored the top marks in our class. In addition to her impressive academic ability, it was also said that she possessed a beauty that was as breathtaking as it was timeless.

Not only was she considered by many to be the most beautiful girl in school, she also possessed an unparalleled intelligence and a wit sharp enough to draw blood. To top it off, she also bore a family name that carried both respect and authority in nearly every social circle in Japan.

It was uncontestable that the level she existed on was far elevated above that of any regular person.

…But how high did that level go exactly?

For all of her strengths, she could by no means be called perfect.

Speaking literally, her name could be translated to 'snow under snow'. If you had ever spoken to her before, you might be quick to say that it was a name that was wholly befitting of the person it identified.

Cold. Direct. Harsh.

These were words that could accurately and realistically be used to describe this girl, and it would be difficult to find many who would disagree with this assessment. Her personality was pretty bad overall, but beneath the surface of the icy exterior, there existed a person who was more than just the ice-queen persona that she embodied.

Just because she was cold at times didn't necessarily mean that she couldn't be warm in her own odd way too.

As tacky as it sounded to say, the last two years that I had spent around her had somewhat proved that point.

"Come on back me up Hikki! Wouldn't you get distracted by those pretty flowers too?"

I was snapped out of my lingering thoughts by a loud voice. Because I was addressed directly by name, I had no choice but to match the question with a response.

"Huh? No, don't drag me into this. I have nothing to do with this conversation."

I turned my attention back towards the pocket-sized book that was resting on the table to my left. However, my eyes that should have been scanning over its words stayed stationary. Instead, my ears eagerly awaited Yuigahama's inevitable follow-up.

"Ugh don't be so unreliable Hikki. Just tell Yukinon that everybody forgets things sometimes too! It's not that I'm irresponsible or anything… It's just that there were… extra… extra-tentative circumstances this time…"

Yuigahama struggled with her words as she finished her thought. Even though she mangled the pronunciation of the word horribly, I was mildly impressed that Yuigahama was able to correctly use a complicated word in a semi-appropriate situation. I guess the time she spent around two high-ranking language students did at least have somewhat of a positive effect on her…

Still, just listening to her talk in circles about the same topic for so long was enough to make me dizzy. In order to keep the conversation moving, I threw out my own opinion.

"The word you're looking for is extenuating. Anyways, Yukinoshita has a point. If you can't even remember a simple thing like bringing forks then I already feel bad for the headache your future husband's going to have to deal with."

"H-husband?!" She replied in a fluster as her body shot up in her seat. Her following words came out in a quick and successive fashion.

"What does bringing forks have to do with getting married?"

"Huh? Plenty."

I set my book down and coughed to clear my throat.

"I'm going to go ahead and assume that your husband's going to rely on you for preparing his lunch in the mornings as well as for similar things of that nature. If we want to stay on the fork example then you forgetting to pack a fork for him with his bento box would mean that he'd open up his meal in the break room and have to eat his sushi and rice with his bare hands. The soy sauce would get all over his hands and he'd probably spill little bits of food all over his dress shirt and pants. He would then be forced to walk back to his desk in shame and he'd get the keyboard dirty with his sticky fingers, at which point his boss would suspend him for ruining company equipment. If that weren't bad enough, he'd also become the laughingstock of the office and would earn a nickname like 'nasty-sauce-fingers' or 'Saucekura Haruno'. Basically, he'd probably be too embarrassed to show up at work after that and would receive a dishonorable discharge for failing to file his two weeks' notice. Your family would then be forced to survive off government stipends until he could get back on his feet. And don't forget, this all happened because you didn't bring him a fork."

An unpleasant smile crossed my face as I finished. Truth be told, my words had made a lot more sense than I was expecting. Remembering to bring forks really was a pretty complex and important task after all…

I guess I underestimated just how vital utensils were to successful relationships and Japan's economy as a whole. If not packing a fork with lunch could lead to a mess as big as all that, I should start fearing for my life if my mom ever tries forcing me to eat ramen with a spoon again…

As I turned to look at the two beside me, I was met with wide eyes and open mouths… _Did I just like toootally say something weird right there?_

"…That's one scenario in any case." I meekly added as I turned back to my book.

"R-Right. So much for backing me up though…" Yuigahama responded uneasily. However, her voice suddenly grew louder as if she had remembered some crucial point.

"Hey wait, we should be criticizing you too! You didn't bring what you were supposed to either!"

I slipped a bookmark into my book and reached across the table to get to my bag. After stuffing my hands in and shuffling around for a while, I pulled out a stack of expensive plastic plates that I had bought at the store this morning.

In order to let the full dramatic weight of my action sink in, I turned back to my book and pretended to continue reading nonchalantly. But even so, I couldn't help a smirk from crossing my face. Boy I was cool…

"H-heavy duty…" Yuigahama muttered dejectedly as she looked at her shoes.

"Well, it appears that both Hikigaya-kun and myself were able to carry out our assigned roles. I suppose this makes it pretty obvious who the club's weak link is now, doesn't it?"

Yukinoshita looked towards me as a smile splayed out across her face. With my eyes fixed on hers, I couldn't help but also be affected by her blithe attitude and I smiled as well.

You would think that ganging up on Yuigahama wouldn't be nearly that fun due to how easy it was, but that assumption was actually pretty far off. Messing with her was always a guaranteed mood booster.

"Wahhh. Why do you guys always gang up on me these days? It's so unfair!"

Yuigahama cried out and abruptly stood up from her seat. She quickly charged towards me and after she had closed the distance, began unleashing a rapid flurry of strikes on my back and neck.

_Ow! Ow!_ Her small, balled-up fists were a lot stronger than they appeared. The little punches eventually added up and really started to hurt.

"Ow, okay. Okay. Could you stop that?"

I lifted my arm to try to stop the attacks while trying to verbally reason with Yuigahama. She must have really been distressed though because she remained persistent and continued pummeling me beneath her small hands while emitting an intermittent frequency of small cries.

A giggle was heard from the other side of the room.

The tiny fists stopped their assault. Yuigahama turned her attention towards the noise and the perpetrator froze up immediately before letting out a small cough.

"Yukinon… Don't laugh! You were being meaner than Hikki was!"

Just like that, the assault on me ceased and Yuigahama sprung at Yukinoshita like a feral cat.

Her arms wrapped tightly around Yukinoshita's body and squeezed while her torso tossed from side to side.

"Yuig—Please… Let…" Yukinoshita's face was turning red and she struggled to get her words out.

Eventually, Yuigahama released her and she breathed out a sigh of relief as she tried to get air back into her lungs.

"But really, you guys always take each others' sides. I'm kind of tired of getting picked on," She puffed out her cheeks with a forlorn look. "I'm starting to think we might even need a new member to balance out the sides or something…" Yuigahama whimpered softly as she said that.

Yukinoshita made a small smile and comfortingly placed a hand on Yuigahama's shoulder before responding.

"I'm sorry Yuigahama-san." She paused. "But truthfully, I'm sure it won't be all that difficult to find utensils somewhere on campus, so it shouldn't take too long for you to get them and come back. In fact, if you act quickly, we might even be able to start eating before lunch ends."

She finished with a smirk. Yuigahama looked like she had been wounded and threw her body back in astonishment.

"Eh? Punishment game?!"

Yukinoshita answered her outburst calmly.

"Well, not exactly. A punishment game would require there to be a need for a punishment in the first place. Since it was your responsibility to bring the forks all along, this would more so fall along the lines of you atoning for your previous failure."

I drly snickered behind my book. Yuigahama's shoulders sank as she looked between Yukinoshita and myself.

"So like I was saying earlier, we totally need a new member who takes my side..."

The cruel smile that was plastered across Yukinoshita's face a moment earlier suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a small look of concern.

"O-Oh. Do you really think it's necessary to add a new member?"

Yuigahama looked back at her and tapped her finger against her chin as she delved into thought.

"Well I was mostly joking but it couldn't hurt maybe… If anything we could probably convince Komachi-chan to join!"

"I-I see." Yukinoshita kneaded one hand over the other as she responded. After a few moments, she turned her body to the right and timidly addressed me with a question.

"…What do you think?"

Faced with her inquiring tone, I set my book down and took a moment to think over my answer.

Komachi joining the service club huh… Since the beginning of this year, and even in the year before when she wasn't a Sobu High student yet, Komachi had played a significant part in many of the Service Club's requests.

Heck, just counting this year alone, she had participated in upwards of ten cases. Even discounting the ones where we simply consulted her for advice but in which she didn't actively play a part, she still had a pretty healthy track record.

Simply put, without Komachi's unique skills and assistance, it would be pretty safe to say that the club wouldn't have been nearly as successful as it was.

Even so, the question was still lingering in the air. Did we really need a new member?

As these thoughts pored over in my mind, I tried to focus in on the crux of the question that Yukinoshita had asked me.

Judging by the way she spoke, it had sounded like she was addressing me personally and wasn't asking for a rational explanation or a logical assessment, but rather for my own personal thoughts on the matter. What did I think and what was it that I wanted?

I mulled it over in my head once more.

In the end, this club wasn't just an empty classroom with a large pile of permanently stacked chairs and a reliably unreliable heater. I'm pretty sure that to us three, it represented something beyond that.

Although the club was initially created by one, it was inhabited and treasured by three. The three members of the Service Club.

As my mind lingered on the significance of the number, I found that I had inadvertently reached my conclusion.

Three. It was us three that composed the club, and it was us three that had seen it through not only the memorable moments, but also the ones that had seemed bleak and hopeless. Essentially, we three _were_ the Service Club. Taking away or adding anything would alter the essential formula that defined its existence.

In this equation, the upper and lower limits were three.

"…I don't think that would be a good idea. I mean Komachi helps us out plenty anyways so she's practically already a member in that sense. Giving her official membership would just mean she'd expect benefits and stuff so stringing her along for free labor is the way to go here."

"That's terrible Hikki…" Yuigahama replied with a look of disgust on her face. I shrugged. "How can you so openly use your own sister like that?"

"Just because she's my sister… Wait, no it's because she's my sister that I'm doing this. The truth is when she eventually gets a job, it's more than likely that her boss will use her up for whatever she's worth before tossing her away when she stops being useful. Me breaking it to her like this is the best thing for her."

Although I wasn't being entirely upfront with my reasoning, I decided to pull my punches and regurgitate a secondary justification instead.

Under the sounds of the swaying air and fluttering leaves in the distance, a small voice could be heard from the opposite end of the table.

"I actually rather like the club the way it is right now. It's…pleasant."

I looked over towards the owner of the voice and was met with a pair of shy eyes that linked with my own. After a brief moment, those blue eyes turned away and fixated lightly on Yuighama.

The club today was definitely not the same one that I had been forced into joining back then by Hiratsuka-sensei.

Back then, I couldn't comfortably say that the other two members were anything more than strangers to me. I had no interest in learning about them, nor did I have any desire for them to learn anything about me.

But… things had changed. I could honestly say that I knew them now. I could honestly say that I've enjoyed the time I've spent with them thus far. I can honestly say that I enjoy being a member of the Service Club.

With this in mind, I added my own opinion to the mix.

"Can't say I disagree there."

Yukinoshita blinked at me in surprise but then gave me a small smile. Suddenly Yuigahama's face split into a large grin.

"Aww Yukinon, Hikki... You guys know how much this club means to me. I'm really happy that you guys have finally come out and said it too! This club really is perfect the way it is huh…" Yuigahama sniffled slightly as she rubbed at her eye with the sleeve of her blazer.

After she finished, she spoke happily.

"Okay fine, I'll go get the forks! Where should I look first?"

"Try asking Hiratsuka-sensei. I'm sure the teacher's lounge keeps a stock on hand."

Yukinoshita was the one who answered her. In response, Yuigahama tilted her head slightly before asking a question.

"Is it really okay to be bothering sensei about this you think?"

_Ha… As if sensei hasn't come to us with equally stupid requests in the past… _

"I mean, what's the point in having a teacher you're close to if you can't use her for pointless favors?"

"Hikigaya-kun, that's a rather crude thing to say. But in this case, I do think that it would be justified given how many times we've personally lent her a hand. Also, she especially owes us for our help with the lessons plans last week."

_What kind of teacher chooses to get blackout drunk on a Sunday anways? __I'm seriously starting to think she needs help..._

Although Yukinoshita responded to my statement with what sounded like a cold admonition, there was a playful undercurrent to her tone.

"O-Okay, I'll go ask her." Yuigahama said as she stood up from her seat and made her way over to the clubroom door. "Don't start on the cakes without me!"

"Have you not been paying attention? We couldn't if we wanted to…"

I called out to her retreating form. However, my words fell upon deaf ears as Yuigahama had already made it past the door and sounds of clattering footsteps could be heard echoing from the hallway.

After she left, I checked my wristwatch and saw that we still had a good half hour before lunch was over.

Theoretically, that should be plenty of time for Yuigahama to return and for us to start in on the teacakes Yukinoshita had brought. However, given the former's air-headed nature, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up lost in the auditorium or something.

I turned back to my book and actually made an attempt at reading now that the main source of noise had disappeared. However, small bits of white noise could still be heard drifting in through the windows of the classroom.

The streets neighboring the school were pretty much empty for the most part given the time of day, but the bustling of the students chatting and weaving through the hallways of Sobu High could still easily be heard.

It wasn't surprising given that it was lunchtime at the moment.

The animated chattering and excited cheers emanating from below were clear signs that the bright atmosphere of springtime had officially subjugated the cold, bitter months that had come before it.

After a few minutes had passed with Yukinoshita and I reading silently in the cool classroom, a voice spoke.

"I'll start the tea."

"Sounds good." I responded nonchalantly.

After the switch for the water boiler was turned on and the tealeaves were dispersed into the pot, a scintillating aroma filled the air.

Recently, Yukinoshita had replaced the normal black tea that we had been drinking with a fragrant blend of Jasmine leaves.

The new flavor was not only delicious, but also seemed incredibly appropriate given the recent change in season. The scent continuously found its way into my nostrils and I could feel the teapot's warmth from my seat.

"So Hikigaya-kun… have you received any responses from the universities you've applied to yet?"

Yukinoshita threw out a question after she took her seat. I responded in kind.

"Yeah, just two so far. Nanzan University and Seijishi College. I also applied to Chuo Gakuin near Seitama, but I haven't heard back from them yet. If I get in, I'll probably end up going there but otherwise Nanzan University seems like my safest bet."

"Oh, I see. I've read that Chuo Gakuin is ranked as one of the top three liberal arts universities in Japan so I think it would be a good fit for you."

"Well yeah. That was one of the considerations I had when I was sending out applications." I paused and looked up from my book. "Have you heard back from anywhere yet?"

"Well, I applied to four schools in total. Tohoku University sent me an admittance letter a few days ago and Watseda College in Shinjuku said they could offer me a full waiver for housing costs if I accepted their offer."

She continued listing off the schools on her slender fingers.

"Also, The University of Tokyo accepted me in their early admittance program. Not only are they offering me a full-ride for my undergraduate studies, but also admittance into a work-study program if I choose to pursue a career in the biomedical field."

Unsurprising was the word that popped into my mind. Being the top ranked student at our school, in tandem with her club president status, and undoubtedly flawless test scores, it wasn't such a stretch to see why Tokyo University would fall over themselves to grab at a piece of the Yukinoshita pie.

I looked over at her upon noticing that she had stopped before fully finishing her explanation. As a result, I asked her a probing question.

"What about the fourth one?"

"I…" She paused. "I also received my acceptance letter from Chuo Gakuin yesterday."

"Hoh, is that so…"

"Yes… I applied there specifically in the event that I might decide to major in a humanities based program. It seemed like a natural choice given my circumstances..."

"Well congrats. Have you narrowed down your options at all?"

"I've weighed the pros and cons of all of them so far but I'm still having a difficult time finalizing my choice between two in particular." She gave me an odd look.

"But even so…" she spoke vaguely without finishing her thought.

After having stared absently in my direction for a while, she turned her eyes to lock with mine and spoke with a soft voice.

"Um… Tell me when you hear back okay?"

"From Chuo Gakuin?"

She inclined her head slightly.

Although I was caught slightly off guard, I nodded.

"Yeah. Sure." I answered automatically. "Uh but why exactly?"

"Well, simply put I would like a proper chance to gloat when you're inevitably rejected. I mean, your grades aren't terrible but it wouldn't be remiss to say that Chuo Gakuin's standards are slightly above your level."

Yukinoshita, who was looking rather timid earlier swapped out her shy expression for a mischievous smirk instead. As her facial expression changed completely, one of her eyes fluttered shut and she looked in my direction.

Did this girl really just wink at me after calling me out like that…?

"Hey, can't you take it easy on me considering the fact that we won't be seeing each other anymore soon?"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"Well, graduation is coming up in a few months. After that, I'm not gonna be around for you to insult anymore. Logically speaking, you should try being nicer to me now because our acquaintanceship is coming to an end; like as a form of repentance of some sort."

"Doesn't that just mean that I should insult you more so than normal to make up for when I can't later?"

"That's a pretty twisted way of looking at it…"

"Hikigaya-kun, the relationship we have wouldn't be our own if we so suddenly changed the way we acted towards one other."

That certainly was true. The three of us had changed the way we acted around each other once. Whether it was a conscious decision at the time, or whether it was borne out of a desire to preserve something, we had danced around on eggshells and talked in circles to prolong a façade that was fated to crumble from the start.

What she said was true then. A façade that relied on too many prerequisite formalities was just that.

Although Yukinoshita's insults and antagonistic attitude cut sharp, at least those cuts were deep and not superficial. _Oh boy what's with this sentimental analogy…?_

However, before I could respond, Yukinoshita continued her thought with a jeering tone.

"Besides, if it weren't for me, nobody would call you out on your wicked ideas and that might put the whole world in jeopardy. I've seen the effects those rotten eyes have brought forth before."

"Way to treat me like I'm some sort of great demon lord…" I retorted easily. "Come to think of it, I like that actually."

"Lord? I think that you might perhaps be overestimating your own worth in this situation. It's true that your methods are pretty demented, but it also wouldn't be remiss to say that the title of Great Demon Lord is slightly above your level."

She gave me a sickeningly sweet smile.

"You would fall more along the lines of something like a demon secretary. Or a demon scullery maid perhaps. In any case, you would undoubtedly exist in the lower stratum of demon society."

"Hey, stop automatically assuming I'd be a subordinate in every situation."

"Oh did I say something offensive?"

"Yeah, all of it." I returned with a roll of my eyes.

"If you can't be nicer to me then could you at least improve your brain-to-mouth filter or something?"

"Sorry. Not possible."

A serene expression settled on her face.

Suddenly, the door to the clubroom slid open and in waddled Yuigahama who was carrying a huge brown paper bag. As she tipped uneasily from side to side, she called out to us.

"Guys! I don't know how long I can hold onto this thing!"

I promptly stood up from my seat and took the large bag into my own hands before nearly losing my footing.

_Agh…_ What the hell was in here?

As I readjusted my posture to accommodate for the absurd weight of the bag, I peeked inside to see just what it was that Yuigahama had been struggling with. Located inside the bag were at least two dozen boxes of plastic forks and even some containing spoons and knives.

"Are these all from the teacher's lounge…?" I struggled to get out my words as I lugged the heavy bag to the table.

"I tried telling her we only needed three, but she insisted that I take them all for some reason…"

I was at a loss for words. What possible motivation could Hiratsuka-sensei have for unloading the entire supply of the school's disposable forks on us? The ridiculousness of this person was something to marvel at.

Yuigahama laughed nervously before continuing.

"Well, on the bright side at least we have extras for next time right?"

"That really is good news considering how likely it is that Yuigahama-san will forget to bring forks next time as well."

"Yukinooon… I thought you guys got it all out of your system before…"

"Okay, I apologize Yuigahama-san. I assure you that was the last time."

Yukinoshita stood and set our three mugs on the table. She then grabbed the teapot and began to pour the steaming hot liquid into the cups before taking her own seat.

The smell of the tea was practically overpowering now that it had been released from its container. The smell was enticing and the warmth of the drink filled up the entire room in a matter of minutes.

After the tea was poured, the teacakes were sliced up and distributed amongst us. As we ate our respective portions, Yuigahama spoke up.

"Mmm. These are seriously delicious."

"Yeah, they're pretty good. Where'd you get them?"

I asked Yukinoshita after sipping softly at my tea.

"I stayed up last night making them. I found the recipe online but I improvised on certain parts and added some ingredients at my own discretion."

"Yukinonnn, that's why they taste so good I bet!" Yuigahama curled up to Yukinoshita and rubbed her cheek against her shoulder. "Thank you. They're amazing."

"Yep. Thanks." I answered through a mouthful of cake.

These teacakes were seriously good though. They were moist and in combination with the smooth texture of the tea, I found them to be exactly to my liking. The fact that they were handmade by Yukinoshita made them taste even better somehow.

A generally comfortable atmosphere settled over the clubroom as we ate and chatted about random things.

However, the calm atmosphere was broken when Yukinoshita abruptly stopped speaking in the middle of her thought.

In my confused state, I questioned her on her unexpected pause.

"Why'd you stop—"

"Shh. What's that sound?"

She interrupted me with a raised hand.

Yuigahama and I looked at one another before straining our ears to listen. In the background, a very faint conversation could be heard. As we listened, the sound steadily grew louder.

A few bits and pieces of conversation drifted to our ears and we caught the occasional word despite not knowing the source of the noise. However after listening carefully, it became clear that the talking was coming from the hallway.

After a few moments, a loud series of knocks sounded against the clubroom door.

We looked between us three before Yukinoshita called out in a clear voice.

"Come in."

And in walked three people that we weren't at all expecting to see.

The first had rich, long blonde hair that curled up at the ends like folded ribbons. She walked in first with a prideful gait and idly perched her hand on her hip in a manner that reeked of casual annoyance.

Following her was a shorter girl who had shoulder-length grey hair and thick red-rimmed glasses. Her hands were folded in front of her body as she casually fell into step behind the first girl.

Last and most certainly least, a tall delinquent-looking boy trailed into the room behind the others. His messy bleached hair was held in place by a small black headband and a couple of curls hung messily across his forehead. He strolled in carelessly and upon entering, pointed his fingers in my direction before calling out.

"Heya Hikitani-kun, how's it going?"

I blinked once in surprise before returning a short greeting.

"Yo."

At that point, the girl in the middle happily exchanged greetings and waved both hands out enthusiastically.

"Haro Haro you guys!"

"Oh! Yahallo Yumiko, Hina, Tobecci!"

Yuigahama responded with her trademark greeting and also waved her hand in acknowledgement.

However, between the two groups that had gathered, there were two people that hadn't yet exchanged pleasantries. I looked over to my left at a scene that I was sure was going to resemble a warzone.

Yukinoshita and Miura were engaged in a stare down at the far end of the table. Both of their eyes seemed to be filled with intensity, but neither seemed to be backing down.

However, it was obvious that the stalemate couldn't last forever. As I had expected, Miura was the first to concede and eventually turned her eyes away before softly saying something.

"…Hey."

"Hello."

Yukinoshita returned the greeting with a neutral expression.

"Sooo what brings you guys to the club?" Yuigahama asked curiously after a beat.

"We kinda got a big request for ya this time. It's a big deal so we figured we oughta call in the professionals for this one, ya know?" Tobe answered.

"And that request is?" Yukinoshita urged him to continue.

"Well ya see… What's been going on lately is that there's been this sort of rising tide in the group. Yeah, yeah, like there's a flood that's almost close to spilling over the brink or something like that."

For some reason, the way Tobe spoke set me on edge. Normally Tobe was pretty forthright (when you factored out his annoying use of slang that is), but this time, he seemed hesitant to get to his actual point. It felt as if he were trying to explain the situation as delicately as possible, which was something that seemed painfully out-of-character.

"Here, how should I say it…You know how wolves kinda have a boss dog who—"

"It's about Hayato."

Miura interjected, effectively cutting Tobe off from finishing his thought. Having been interrupted mid-sentence, Tobe closed his open mouth before adding on a small afterthought.

"Yah. That."

"Oh… I think I know what you guys mean. I've noticed it a little bit too…" Yuigahama said with a small sigh.

"Please continue with the details." Yukinoshita tapped her finger on the desk and spoke impatiently.

"Hayato-kun's been really distant lately. I guess you could say it's been getting more obvious recently but we all started noticing this around a year ago."

Ebina explained the situation while turning herself to address Yukinoshita directly. Tobe and Miura simply stood around awkwardly while Ebina continued to provide the appropriate information.

"He's been especially withdrawn from our group and a lot of times it feels like he just sits with us to pass the time. When the bell rings, he's usually the first one to leave."

Yukinoshita nodded in response as if she were inwardly constructing a mental checklist. Yuigahama and I simply listened. After Ebina finished talking, Tobe continued with his own thoughts on the situation.

"Ya. Ya. You're right Hina. Ya know, Hayato's always been a pretty chill guy but he's been… how do ya say it… like snapped out of it recently. He doesn't respond sometimes and we don't talk about stuff like we used to back in the old days."

As creepy as it might have sounded, I had also taken notice of the rift that had formed between them. Ever since the end of the field trip during second year, Hayama had definitely started to act more conservatively around the other members of his group. That much was at least obvious to me.

However, when third year started and Miura, Tobe, Ebina, and he all reunited in the same class by chance, I fully expected him to return to his obnoxiously refreshing self.

Yet, that never ended up happening and instead he seemed even more shut off and quiet than normal.

Considering the fact that I was just a passive observer and yet could still sense a palpable disturbance there meant that Tobe's suspicions were probably based in reality.

"Hmm." A slight hum resonated from Yukinoshita's throat. Her eyes seemed to be calculating something as she stared at the floor in thought. "So what is it exactly that you expect us to do?"

"We'd like you guys to help us bring out the true Hayato!" Tobe declared passionately.

"…The true Hayato?" I asked skeptically.

"Yah Hikitani-kun, that's it. That's it exactly."

What? The only thing I did was repeat what you said right there…

Yuigahama seemingly shared my confusion and addressed Tobe with a question of her own.

"Um… What do you mean by that Tobe?"

"Well… We've been thinking about it long and hard and we think we've come up with an explanation as to why Hayato-kun's been so blue lately."

Tobe gave a much more substantial explanation this time and Ebina continued his train of thought after he finished.

"We think the reason that Hayato-kun's been so withdrawn is because he's repressing his true personality and trying too hard to put on an act for our sakes."

That's kind of the pot calling the kettle black there isn't it…

I elected to keep my thought to myself as I listened on.

"Yeah, it's something like that anyway. Sometimes he'll open his mouth to say something but before he finishes his thought he'll just stare out the window instead and stop talking completely…"

Miura finished the exchange with a small sigh. From her tone, it sounded like this whole situation had really taken a toll on her as well.

I stared at the floor in thought.

So even these three had noticed it too. From what I'd gathered during my observations of the mysterious figure known as Hayama Hayato, I could say they that they had pretty much hit the nail on the head in terms of what was going on.

They were all more observant than I gave them credit for.

"He's our bud ya know, and we don't want him to try to be someone he ain't. I mean, as friends, we should like him for who he is anyways right? So basically what we're asking of you guys is to help Hayato-kun be himself."

According to Tobe, the request that these three came to give us was one that would see the club trying to 'bring out the real Hayama Hayato'. What exactly that entailed though was anyone's guess.

"Be himself…?" I asked in order to receive a clarification.

"Are you stupid or something Hikio? How many times are you gonna ask us to explain the same exact thing huh?"

Miura scowled in my direction before fixing me with a sharp question. The eyes that rested upon me looked murderous.

Hey now… you guys were the ones who came here for our help you know. The least you could do is explain the situation thoroughly enough that a layperson like myself might understand…

As I opened my mouth to say my piece, another voice cut through the air instead.

"And what exactly do you think gives you the right to talk to him like that?"

My mouth that had opened to reply remained fixed in that state. I looked over at the owner of the voice to see Yukinoshita glaring at Miura with a penetrating gaze.

If Miura's eyes could be said to hold a murderous intent then it would be fair to say that Yukinoshita's held the soul and fury of Jack the Ripper himself.

"Hah? Because these stupid questions are a waste of our time, that's why. We didn't come here for an interrogation y'know. We came here to have our request fulfilled. I mean, that is what you guys do here right? Or am I wrong?"

"Yes, we fulfill requests for those in need." Yukinoshita's eyes were alight with emotion.

"However, we are not slaves nor are we obligated to help anyone who barges in and shoves their petty problems into our faces. This is especially not the case for those who can so blatantly disrespect one of my members and then turn around and expect his help. For the sake of Ebina-san and Tobe-kun, we will hear out the remainder of the request. However, as for you… Well I'll clear the air now so as not to create any more misunderstandings. I want you to leave this room. Now."

All of the eyes in the room were fixated on Yukinoshita. The features of her face sat stock-still and not even the slightest twitch could be seen in her stony expression. Appropriate to her moniker, her eyes looked as if they had been hardened by a layer of sharp ice.

Miura blinked twice in surprise. The rage that had filled her face earlier had all but disappeared and instead she looked at Yukinoshita with a small expression.

"I…"

"Was I being too vague again? Leave."

Miura bit her lip and looked at the floor before turning sharply towards the door. However, as she neared the entrance, she turned her head slightly towards us before speaking quickly in a soft tone.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that… I just… I'm really concerned about Hayato is all. I'm sorry Hikio. I…I shouldn't have said that."

Miura spoke in a fluster and in her small apology, stumbled over her words and managed to repeat herself twice.

"Uh… yeah." I said awkwardly. Although the issue had initially started with me, I didn't really know where my position in the argument laid anymore so I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Yukinon… Yumiko said she was sorry. Can we maybe let her stay? She's probably the closest one to Hayato-kun after all…"

Yukinoshita's eyes were still firmly fixed on Miura's retreating form. However, after a few moments she let out a sigh through her nostrils before speaking.

"…Fine. I'll allow it for that reason alone."

For a brief second, Yukinoshita's eyes flickered over to me. I looked back at her and threw up my shoulders slightly in a shrug.

The air that had grown thick just a minute ago suddenly began to clear slightly as the others in the room let out their pent up breaths.

"So, you guys want to help Hayato-kun come out of his shell right?" Yuigahama asked.

"Mhmm. That's right." Ebina nodded.

"Yah… We don't want him to have to act like a hundred-percent perfect dude all the time ya know? We just wanna hang with the real Hayato, faults and all." Tobe sounded sentimental as he spoke. "So if you could think of a way to do this then yer helps would be much appreciated."

As Tobe's words reached my ears, my mind couldn't help but launch into thoughts about the nature of Hayama's group.

The feelings that these three now held were far cries from those of the group that I had observed in the past few years.

The group back then had all held onto their superficial bonds like lifelines.

They were more than willing to sacrifice their own personal feelings to preserve what they thought it was that they wanted. Their chief desire was to protect what little they had built together, even if that meant sacrificing what few semblances of authenticity that that relationship held in the first place.

From the sounds of it now though, it looked like they had realized how futile their efforts to maintain that deception really were in the end.

It was fittingly ironic that the one who had clung the most tightly to that superficial relationship was Hayama himself, and now it appeared that he was unsatisfied with the outcome that he was directly responsible for.

"I see." Yukinoshita nodded and rubbed her chin in thought. After a moment, she addressed Yuigahama and I.

"Well, what do you think Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya-kun? Shall we?"

Breaking the bonds and masks that Hayama Hayato had painstakingly spent years building up for himself huh? To do that would take not only a monumental amount of effort, but also careful planning and above all, a perfect setup.

Thinking about it rationally, it sounded like this request would be a lot more trouble than it was worth in the end.

On the surface, I could casually say that I had no attachment whatsoever to any of the parties involved, and that the outcome of this request was inconsequential to me either way.

But deep down, a selfish urge pricked at me to accept the request, and to accept it with finality.

Personally, I was tired of seeing the façade known as Hayama. I was tired of seeing the imposturous, 'refreshing' Hayama freely throw out his smiles when I knew that the _real_ Hayama Hayato wasn't as nice a guy as I had made him out to be.

Above it all though, the emotion that stung at me most was pity.

I told myself that I wouldn't pity Hayama like he had done me so often. But in the end, it was difficult to fully stop myself.

The life he lived was a lie, and from what I saw, there wasn't a single person that truly knew him.

Whether it was to preserve his front of being the perfect athlete, or the perfect friend, or the perfect heir to his parents' legacy, Hayama had repressed himself and shielded away his feelings with flashy smiles and a refreshing attitude. In his world that was characterized by adoring admirers, a finely tuned pedigree, and universal praise, he had nothing and he had no one.

"…We'll do it." I said.

"Okay… yeah!" Yuigahama said in agreement.

"The Service Club accepts your request then."

Yukinoshita turned her eyes away from me and addressed the three with a neutral expression. In response, Tobe began to energetically spout out his appreciation.

"Thanks a ton Miss Yukinoshita, Miss Yui! And of course, you too Hikitani-kun."

I nodded and Tobe threw a thumbs-up in my direction. By the way, my name's still not Hikitani. Or Hikio for that matter.

At that moment, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period.

Ebina, and even Miura thanked us as the three of them filed out of the clubroom and headed into the hallway.

Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and I also stood up and began packing away the cups and plates into their rightful positions.

After we finished, Yuigahama and I grabbed our bags and stood to leave.

As we motioned to make our exit, Yukinoshita called out to confirm something.

"Shall we reconvene after school to discuss the case?"

"Okay, that sounds good! See you then Yukinon!"

"Yeah. See you then."

Yuigahama and I affirmed with short responses before exiting the clubroom.

We walked through the empty hallways of the special building and eventually made it to the third floor of the main building where our class was located.

As I walked in, my eyes instinctively scanned over the room.

I noticed that Tobe, Miura, Ebina, and Hayama were all seated in their usual corner of the classroom, and were chatting about something that I couldn't quite hear over the voices of the other students.

However, as I looked upon them, I noticed that the one that was the least engaging in that group was the figure in contention himself, Hayama Hayato.

He would occasionally nod or smile reservedly in response to Tobe's loud banter, but aside from that, he seemed relatively quiet and uninvolved. His eyes looked remarkably distant.

I tried keeping my eye on him during the class, but his behavior remained relatively consistent the entire time, so I eventually turned my gaze away.

Class passed by slowly like always.

The food in my stomach made me feel slightly drowsy and as a result, I found it hard to pay any lasting attention to the lessons that played out in front of me. Simply put, not only was it a huge struggle to pay attention, but also just to stay awake.

Still, class eventually saw its conclusion and we were dismissed as the school bell rang.

As I stood from my seat, I took a final look at the group on the other side of the room.

The scene that I saw was the same redundant one that had been playing on repeat since the beginning of the year. More refreshing smiles and idle nods.

As I stared over at them, my eyes eventually met with Yuigahama's. After a moment, she walked over to the side of the room that I sat in and approached me with a question.

"Hikki, you ready?"

"Yep. Whenever you are."

I finished packing up my things and Yuigahama and I walked together through the halls of Sobu High.

"I saw that you were staring. Were you able to pick up on anything?"

"...I wasn't staring. It's called reconnaissance." I purposely used a fancy English word in order to confuse Yuigahama. When she paused slightly and her face contorted a little bit in confusion, I continued. "And no, nothing was different as far as I could tell. Hayama was being quiet, but that's no different from how he's been acting all year."

"Uh huh… now that it's been brought up, I can definitely see what Tobe and Hina meant though. Heh, I mean I noticed that he was being a little less talkative, but I didn't think it was that a big deal at first…"

Yuigahama responded with a pained look on her face. Based on what she said and the tone in which she said it, I had a feeling that she was inwardly blaming herself for not having been more observant.

Yuigahama had always prided herself on being able to read the mood and adjust her actions accordingly. In this way, she was able to gain favor amongst her group while also being considerate of everyone's unique feelings. It was no surprise that she had so easily been able to assimilate into the school's top caste in the first place.

Over the course of the last two years though, Yuigahama's unhealthy eagerness to please others had waned a bit, and instead she began to focus more so on what it was that she wanted and her own personal aspirations. I couldn't say that that was a bad thing by any means.

But still, it appeared that either because of this fact or because she had simply stopped paying enough attention to Hayama's clique, she had grossly underestimated the change in Hayama's behavior.

Not that I could blame her really. That was just how human beings operated. While Yuigahama did genuinely care for the well beings of others, and especially for those with whom she was close, she too couldn't completely avoid her human tendencies.

Although she was still close with the members of Hayama's clique, she had gradually been drifting away from them and instead had elected to spend most of her time in the Service Club. As a result, most of her attention was probably focused on the club, and her involvement in the other group had slowly become secondary in her priorities.

Honestly speaking though, it's not like it would have made all that much of a difference anyways. I highly doubted that anything Yuigahama could've done would have helped Hayama at all.

As we walked, the clacks of our shoes against the hallway floors sounded out and reverberated in the still air.

Eventually, our steps slowed as we came upon the entrance to the Service Clubroom.

I slid the door open and unsurprisingly, Yukinoshita was sitting near the window with an open book in hand.

"Yahallo Yukinon!"

"Sup."

We greeted her as we walked in from the hallway and made our ways to our respective seats. After we had situated ourselves, Yukinoshita nodded and spoke.

"Shall we get started on the consultation then?"

Getting straight down to business huh? At least let me drink some tea first to help me settle down…

"I've already prepared the tea as well."

Yay! Yukinon is like so reliable!

Once the tea was poured and the remainders of the teacakes from lunch were divvied up, Yukinoshita motioned to initiate the meeting.

"So. From what I understand, the nature of the request revolves around the destruction of Hayama-kun's superficial image so that he can embrace his true personality."

"Yeah I think that's about right…" Yuigahama tacked on uneasily.

"Okay now that we've confirmed its premise, how should we go about carrying it out?"

"Good question."

I muttered in response as I began to think seriously.

How _should_ we go about carrying this out? That was the million-dollar question in this scenario.

If we thought about it from a purely technical standpoint, it would probably be wise to start considering all the past instances where Hayama's nice-guy act started to fall apart and we got a glimpse of the person that lay underneath.

As I racked my brain, a few specific instances came to mind.

On the roof during the Cultural Festival.

His betrayal of Tobe and his desire to protect his superficial relationships during the second-year field trip.

His attack on Orimoto and her friend in the restaurant that one time.

Our conversation during the marathon last year.

What happened during the Valentine's Day Event.

So basically any time the two of us talked then… Wow, he really hates me doesn't he?

"W-Well, I was thinking about it in class and I thought that maybe we could all stage something like an intervention for him? Like we trick him into coming to the clubroom one day or something and we all talk to him and tell him how we feel. Maybe if he hears it from everyone at once, it'll finally get through to him…"

Yuigahama wrung her fingers nervously while she spoke. Judging from her tone, it sounded like she really had put some thought into her proposal and that she had considered her plan on multiple levels.

It wasn't a terrible idea… but the probability of something like that working was likely close to zero.

If it did work, it definitely would've been the ideal scenario that required the least effort on our part yet still managed to accomplish all the necessary goals.

However, I just couldn't envision a world where such a simple solution would solve such a complex problem. I did like the part where we tricked him though.

In return, I explained my reasoning.

"I don't think Hayama would honestly listen. He might nod and play along, but in the end, I don't think that us talking to him would be enough to actually change his mind. The fact that he still acts the way he does after all this time is proof that it goes way beyond the scope of logical reasoning."

"Oh. Yeah I guess." Yuigahama said softly.

Yukinoshita's eyes were vacant and she looked to be lost in thought. Yuigahama similarly looked towards the ceiling with a finger on her chin, and I stared out the window at the ant-like figures below.

After we all sat in silence for a while contemplating different scenarios in our heads, Yukinoshita spoke up in a calm tone.

"Perhaps we're looking at the situation in an incorrect way."

Yuigahama and I turned to look at the owner of that voice.

"Maybe the premise for the request was all wrong in the first place. It was never simply for us to convince him to change himself, but rather to wrest the situation into our own hands and change him ourselves. After all, it's highly unlikely that Hayama-kun would lend a sincere ear to what we have to say to him."

She had a point. Hayama would never listen to me if I just came up to him out of the blue and told him that the superficial way he was acting was pointless. He would probably dismiss me with a smile or laugh in my face. The same went for all of the others too.

Yukinoshita might have a little more luck considering she had known him for so many years, but in the end, I felt that the result would be the same. With these considerations in mind, I urged her to continue.

"I think you're onto something. How exactly do we do that though?"

"I-I'm still not sure about that part."

We all fell into another silence while we considered the new strategy and information.

I thought back to the word that Yukinoshita had used earlier. Destruction.

For whatever reason, I felt that that word was the key factor here. Destructions weren't subtle or calculating; they were violent and above all, forceful.

If we really wanted to destroy something as sturdy as Hayama's public mask, we would need force and a lot of it.

As I lifted my mug to my mouth, I noticed that it had been completely drained of its contents.

Usually Yukinoshita was pretty diligent at discerning when our cups were ready for refilling, and would immediately fill them up again (Even despite our claims that we were perfectly capable of doing it ourselves or that we'd had enough).

However, because Yukinoshita seemed to be completely absorbed in her thoughts, I decided that I could refill my own cup for once. As I stood up, her eyes flickered over to me and she breathed out a small apology upon noticing my empty mug.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Let me do that for you."

"Nah, I've got it. Don't worry."

I answered naturally and gestured for her to sit down. She complied and the thoughtful expression that she had been wearing earlier returned almost instantly.

As I came upon the small table and lifted the teapot to pour, my eyes once again found themselves staring out at the scenery below. On the school's main field were uniformed students running back and forth between goalposts and bandying around a ball from one side to the other.

The sight that I was seeing was the soccer club's daily practice session.

Although many of the players were sweating and looked exhausted after having bathed in the bright afternoon sun, they at least appeared to be having a good time. I saw Tobe on the field laughing and joking around with what appeared to be a first-year while playfully slapping him on the back.

The younger player seemed a little hesitant but smiled nervously as Tobe threw his head back in a fit of laughter.

Sharing your sagely third-year wisdom with the newbies huh? Wow Tobe really was a good guy wasn't he…

…Or could it be that he was just being his show-offy self like always? Tobe = scumbag. A good-guy scumbag basically. GGS? That sort of thing is supposed to be reserved for after the game you know.

"Takeshi, I said I wanted your group in a three center formation. Are you ignoring what I'm saying on purpose?"

Suddenly, a loud shout brought me out of my idle thoughts.

"Do you remember what I said about your strike form? I told you to fully flex your knees, and to keep track of your leg positioning when you're about to kick. I don't know if you're trying to make me look stupid, but in the end you're the one who's putting on the embarrassing performance."

My eyes roved over the field for the source of those biting words.

They eventually landed on the soccer club's team captain, Hayama Hayato.

Hayama was standing on the sidelines with his hands resting on his hips. It appeared that he was running plays with the newer members of his club, and judging by the public tongue-lashing he had just given to one of the players, it seemed that he wasn't in a good mood.

From what I could see from this distance, his facial features looked twisted and his eyes were sharp. I could see the outline of his jaw jutting out from underneath the skin of his cheek. His face didn't just seem slightly pained like it had in class; it now also held a clear edge of anger.

I recoiled slightly as a vile thought suddenly wormed its way into my brain. As I spoke, my breath fogged up the glass in front of me.

"I have an idea."

Both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama looked at me with curious expressions.

* * *

"Hikki…" Yuigahama looked slightly pained as she addressed me. "I don't know about all that…"

Yuigahama's hands gripped tightly at the hem of her skirt. Hidden underneath her moist eyes was an expression that radiated concern.

I angled my eyes slightly to my right as to gauge the full spectrum of reactions that I had received in response to my proposal.

Yukinoshita looked uncomfortable and turned away from me when I peered over. Her small hands were balled up slightly and her eyes that rested idly on the table looked troubled.

The atmosphere in the room seemed eerily still despite the blowing wind that seeped in through the open windows.

Finally, a small whisper floated through the air.

"I said once that I couldn't approve of that type of method…"

I peeled my gaze away from Yukinoshita's figure and aimed them towards the floor as she said that.

Although her words were vague, I didn't need her to spell it out for me to understand. Her words echoed 'self-sacrifice' in their tone alone.

It was undeniable that I had done things like that once.

My mentality during that time was one that emphasized effectiveness above all.

Accomplish my goal efficiently as possible, by ways of any means necessary. That was the ideology that I touted most heavily.

I was given a job, and more often than not, doing a job meant working with a limited amount of options. If the only option I was left with was using my own rotten personality as a weapon, then I was willing to grip the sword on both ends, metaphorically speaking.

Having to stoop to tactics that had a negative impact on my social standing or my reputation in the eyes of others was something I could handle. I could bare the brunt of the trauma and I could handle the burden without the cracks piling up noticeably.

The insults, the sneers, the laughter behind my back… I could bare it all. I had enough experience with it, and if nothing else I was an expert at being ignored and hated. I was the perfect person for the job.

The M.O. of Hikigaya Hachiman then was to kill himself so that others might live. A third party might have even said that what I had done was heroic; that I resembled a hero in that I could selflessly sacrifice myself for the benefit of others.

But in the end, who exactly had benefited, and who was it exactly that had been hurt in the process…?

The answer wasn't just me like I had initially believed.

"I…we thought we had made it clear that this kind of thing did more harm than good in the end…"

The soft tone that she spoke with carried a sense of melancholy that brought back bitter memories of a time in the past. A time when time itself had felt frozen.

Maybe it was these very bitter memories that had strengthened my resolve so profoundly, but at that very moment I decided something. I decided that I couldn't stand by and let that type of superficial existence engulf anyone else. Not myself, nor Yukinoshita or Yuigahama.

Not Hayama.

"This isn't the same thing. I meant it when I said I that I was done doing things that way."

Calling this self-sacrifice wasn't entirely accurate at all, and I didn't mean that sentimentally or technically either.

This was more along the lines of mutually assured destruction if anything.

"I-I don't know about that… But even so, we haven't explored all of our options yet… and there's always the potential that—"

I looked at Yukinoshita with as earnest an expression as I could muster, and interrupted her firmly.

"I'm not like that anymore, I promise. I need you to trust me this time." I'm sure the look that I was fixing on her was dripping with emotion. "As much as I hate this too, I don't think there's any other way to do this."

She averted her eyes and bit her lip softly.

After a while, she spoke up in a voice that was barely audible.

Yet, I heard it all the same.

"…Will it work?"

I answered her with confidence.

"Yeah. It should in theory."

Yuigahama who had been sitting quietly and watching the conversation unfold from her seat, suddenly whispered.

"Eh… Yukinon… Do you really think this is okay?"

Both Yukinoshita and I turned towards her suddenly as if we had been startled for some reason.

With the intensity of the conversation that unfolded and the absence of Yuigahama's interjections, I had almost forgotten that she was sitting there entirely.

Yukinoshita looked at Yuigahama before gently speaking.

"If Hikigaya-kun thinks it'll work… then I trust him."

She then turned to me with a look of determination.

"So… what do you want us to do?"

* * *

Spring was a time for fun, and it was a time for frolicking. Given the warm weather and fresh scenery that characterized this time of the year, it wasn't at all surprising that so many were out lounging around with friends and generally enjoying the fruits that the branches of their youths had to offer.

However, in no certain terms did that mean that this happiness was universal.

There were always people and there were always problems in the world. Pretty weather didn't mean happy endings for everyone.

There was one person in particular though that seemed more miserable than ever.

I thought about the request as I pedaled my bicycle down the empty street.

What had happened to the real Hayama that had forced him to tuck himself away so deeply into his carefully constructed shell?

A shell that protected him from the harsh realities of the world. A shell that protected an overly-optimistic nature and a painfully refreshing attitude.

…Or was it the other way around?

A shell that he created to protect the world from the harsh realities of Hayama Hayato..?

Either way, the scene on the soccer field today showed that this shell was cracking. I could never in a million years imagine the old Hayama saying something so distinctly out-of-character. At least publically.

To the best of my knowledge, Hayama had never explicitly shown anger or any negative emotion in a public setting before.

There _was_ our encounter with Orimoto and her friend that one time, but that took place in a secluded restaurant and besides, those two weren't Sobu High students. There was little chance that his actions then could or would have spread far enough to damage the reputation that he maintained at school.

Then there was what happened today.

Although it was the first that I had directly bore witness to, something told me that this wasn't the first time an event like this had happened.

From the way Tobe and the others had made it sound, it seemed that his actions had started becoming increasingly erratic over the past few months.

Although his scolding of that soccer club member could easily be dismissed by the fact that he was the team captain, and thusly had a responsibility to instruct and train those who fell below him, I knew that there was more to it than that.

Underneath his tone laid distinctly negative emotions.

Anger, hostility, bitterness.

All of these seeped out with his every word. Although I doubt they had anything to do with the failed play or the player himself, the fact that it happened at all meant that he was slipping.

Perhaps what was necessary then was to lubricate the edge that Hayama was still barely clinging onto.

If this were the case, my course of action became markedly simple.

The question: How can you save a man who refuses to save himself?

The answer: You put a gun to his head and pull the trigger.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Alternate title for this chapter: "No Matter What, It Can't Be Said That _Hikigaya Hachiman _Doesn't Talk to Girls". Quality control has been done for the most part, but some sections are still subject to additions/renovations. As always, I really do appreciate reviews so leave them if possible. Thanks and enjoy.

**Chapter 5: That Which He Had Expected From **_**Her**_** Never Came.**

My fingers roved over the screen of the phone. Occasionally, they would tap softly at the glass surface as I navigated between apps and entered the correct inputs.

When all was said and done, I raised the device to my ear and after a few seconds, I was met with a bubbly voice.

"Helloo?"

"Hey."

"Oh hello. This is senpai right?"

"Yep, it's me."

I answered with a short reply.

It was actually a little surprising that she was so quickly able to recognize my voice, considering how rare it was that I actually used my phone for calls.

"Okay good. Since getting a call from senpai is so unusual, I thought I was totally off base right there."

"Well I wouldn't be calling for no reason, so it's not like you were wrong to be suspicious in the first place."

"Haa okay, there's definitely no mistaking that this is senpai now."

The tone she used to speak became slightly flat as she said that. However, after a second, she followed up with a slightly cheerier one.

"Soo… How may I help you?"

"Ah well… I need something of a favor from you."

As I finished speaking, a brief silence fell over the conversation.

As I listened for a response, I could faintly make out Isshiki's soft breaths through the receiver. After a few seconds had passed, her voice came out in a groan.

"Favoor… You do realize it's the weekend right? I _really_ don't feel like doing anything today…"

"It's actually school-related. If you helped me out, I wouldn't need you to do anything until Monday."

I quickly explained myself in an attempt to allay her concerns.

After all, I couldn't blame her for not wanting to do work on a day off...

I was in the exact same boat.

I mean having to worry about troublesome things when you were supposed to be relaxing? Just thinking about it made my skin crawl a little bit.

"Oh. In that case, I guess that's fine… I'll listen to what you have to say but try to make it quick please. I think I need to go somewhere soon."

"Sure and thanks." I coughed slightly before continuing. "First things first, are you still close with the principal?"

"The principal…? Yes I suppose so. Whyy?"

"How would you like to impress him while also getting on the good side of the entire student body?"

"Eh? I mean, I guess that would be a good thing… but I don't really see what you're getting at."

"Let me put it this way. I have an idea on how to make both you and the student council look good without having to do all that much work."

"Ooh, go on…"

So getting away with as least effort as possible was what caught your attention, was it? You really aren't respectable at all are you Miss Prez?

"Yeah, so obviously you know that graduation is coming up soon, and that all the seniors are set to graduate in a few months."

"Ahh. Don't remind me! I'm going to miss all of the senpais soo much when they're gone. Yui-senpai and Yukinoshita-senpai and maybe even Tobe-senpai a little bit…"

The noise that poured out through my speaker was half-whimper, half-groan.

Oh, so it was that.

I hadn't really given much thought to how Isshiki might have felt when her upperclassman companions finally graduated and moved on to university.

Komachi had certainly been pretty vocal about how unfair it was that myself and the other third years were leaving so soon after she had just started, and how the school would be a lot less colorful without the "unique flavor of the Service Club" to keep things interesting.

Given that Isshiki had become an unofficial fourth club-member of sorts and also how close she had become with myself and the others, it wasn't hard to imagine that she would feel similarly.

Even so, shouldn't you be thinking about the positives here Isshiki? It's not like it was all bad.

With our class setting off for greener pastures in a few short months, there would be an inevitable changing of the guard.

That meant that Isshiki and her classmates would become the official top dogs of the school come September. That type of thing came with some serious perks all in its own.

Being a third-year meant you were allowed to go off campus for lunch and that you weren't constrained to the guidelines and restrictions that bound the lower classes.

Also, just by virtue of being older, you'd naturally gain the respect of the impressionable first-year class.

Add all of this to the fact that Isshiki was the student council president, and that meant she would have considerable influence over the school.

...However, without people like myself to provide checks and balances for her, I could seriously envision her going mad with power and executing everyone with a Hundred-Crack Fist or something. I mean… Living in a dictatorship run by Isshiki? I was suddenly glad that I wasn't going to be sticking around to see how that played out.

"And I guess you would be gone too huh?"

Her afterthought came out in a small, distracted voice.

"Well yeah. Being called a 'third-year' isn't just a title for show or anything."

"I know that… It feels like time's passing by way too fast or something though," she breathed out with a little sigh.

"Well, life moves on whether we like it or not. We can't change it, so in the end, it's up to us to deal with it the best we can. It's better to focus on what's in front of you so that you don't end up regretting everything after all is said and done."

Whoa, look at me doling out life lessons and sagely wisdom. Did I suddenly cross through an alternate world line and become Tetsujiro or something?

"Yukinoshita-senpai told me to ignore you when you start saying things like that, so I'm just going to pretend that you didn't say anything right there."

H-huh? Yukinoshita-senpai said that?

"Right… Well, senpai says that when Yukinoshita-san starts saying smart things like that, you should be the one ignoring her."

A short silence suddenly fell over the conversation.

I lifted the phone away from my face to check if I had lost signal or something. When I put the phone back to my ear, Isshiki finally resumed talking.

"Huh? What was that?"

You're officially past the border of cheeky province and have now arrived into brat territory. Please show your passport to the customs officer and never come back. Thank you and have a nice day.

"Never mind…" I shook my head slightly as I muttered a response.

"Back to the issue at hand though. How good is your relationship with the principal exactly?" I asked her in order to refocus the conversation that had gone slightly off-topic.

"Um pretty good I think? I mean he did say that I was the best president he's had a chance to work with. Oh and last week, he complimented me on my haircut and said that he liked the scent of the shampoo that I use."

Shampoo…Uwah. That was a normal thing for an older gentleman to say to a high school girl right?

In any case, I heard getting a compliment from a bald man was supposed to be lucky or something, so perhaps he was trying to give her a better chance on Wheel of Fortune? Yeah that was it. He wanted her to win the grand prize so that she would split the cash with him and then he'd make off like a bandit. Bastard.

"Right... Do you think you can get him to approve a broadcast on Monday?"

"Um broadcast… It depends on the kind I guess…"

The tone she responded with was hesitant. As a result, I explained my proposal in greater detail.

"Well, again considering it's almost graduation and most of the third years are heading off to university soon, a broadcast involving interviews with seniors would probably be the most appropriate topic."

"Senpai, by the way you're making it sound, it seems like that's a phony excuse or something."

"Huh? Er, no…"

Uh oh, you seem to have grown a little bit too sharp for your own good there Irohasu…

"N-no… I'm serious about it. Think about it like this. It would score you even more influence with the principal if you showed initiative and tried to organize an event like this without being asked. Considering all the variables, it's a really solid idea. It could act as a sort of send-off for the seniors and there would probably be interest among the lower years for something like that because they'd be able to see where their upperclassmen schoolmates are going."

I explained the benefits of my plan from a purely logical perspective. Luckily, she seemed to understand what I was getting at, and hummed in affirmation before speaking.

"Hmm, yeah that actually does sound pretty interesting. If you want me to ask him though, I'll need a few more details than thaat…"

"Sure. Well it'd probably be a good idea to have the broadcast during lunch so that it wouldn't take away from actual instruction time."

"I see… But if it was during lunchtime, wouldn't the message not get through to everyone? I mean some people like to go to the village or eat on the hills or stuff like that."

I had thought about this earlier and as a result, had already considered the obvious problems. Despite her decent counterpoint, I was able to address her issue concisely and effectively.

"True, but it's best to think of this as an extra-curricular program as opposed to a news one or whatever. It's mostly for fun anyways, so it's fine if not everyone is able to watch. As long as a majority stays in for lunch, I think we can call it a success."

I threw out a response to address her concerns.

"Besides, all of the students that miss it can just ask their friends to relay what happened on the broadcast. I mean word tends to spread quickly around here."

At least, that's what I was counting on.

"Oh okay I see. How are we going to handle all the technical things though?"

"Do you have access to a video camera with live feed capabilities?"

"Erm, I don't think so. I mean I guess I could ask to borrow some of the camera equipment from the AV club… but I might have to increase their funding or something in return. It's doable but I don't know…"

As Isshiki spoke, I realized that she was beginning to sound like a half-capable president.

But then again, it wasn't like this was the first time she had shown her prowess before.

Over the course of her presidency, she had quickly gotten the hang of things and had been able to fully learn the limits of her presidency and the obligations and benefits that those limits entailed. Additionally, her role as the president of the school had taught her how to effectively deal with official and interpersonal issues alike, which had transformed into a well-equipped political leader.

This didn't mean that she didn't occasionally come running to the club when she got in over her head, but compared to the Irohasu of yester-year, this new and improved Isshiki was one that was more capable and more determined.

"So can I count on you for this?"

"Mmm. It sounds pretty troublesome, but because it's senpai, I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter do I…"

Damn straight. It was past due that she paid me back for all the times I helped her out. I mean I wasn't stingy or anything… but this girl had asked for my help just a little too much.

Regardless, I expressed my appreciation for her cooperation.

"Thanks."

"Noo problem… But me helping you out with this means that we're even right?"

"How do you figure? I'm pretty sure I've helped you quite a few more times than this."

"Maybe, but the thing is I have to do a lot of work here. Calling in so many favors means I'll have to put on a charming smile and act all cutesy. It can get exhausting to do that all the time you know."

"Come on. Don't make it sound like it's that hard for you. I've seen you turn on that side of you like a light switch before."

"Weren't you the one who said I should be myself though…?"

"Yeah, but this might be the one case where it's appropriate to use your dumb air-headed persona."

My words poured out in a flat tone. Isshiki's response that came immediately after sounded indignant.

"Air-headed? Most guys think I'm adorable when I act like that. It's not like I do it for no reason."

"Well, compared to how level-headed you were acting just a minute ago, air-headed is a pretty fitting description. And compared to how you actually are, the act that you put on kind of pales in comparison."

I expressed my honest opinion. All things considered, I was beginning to grow weary of all of the facades and public masks that had been forged and adorned by those around me. Maybe Isshiki wasn't as big an offender as say, Hayama, but the deception and superficiality that had become so commonplace amongst my peers was enough to make my skin itch.

I mean, Isshiki in her natural state was infinitely more charming than the veneer-laden persona that she had created for herself.

"You know, you don't have to be so coy about flirting with me right? If you want to take me out on a date or something you can just feel free to ask."

Even through the phone, I could picture the teasing grin that was forming on her face.

"Of course there's no guarantee I wouldn't turn you down, but you're the one who taught me that working hard for something you want is a reward in itself!"

"Uh huh… thanks for the advice but I really wasn't. You pointing it out sort of makes it sound like you're the one flirting with me though."

"Oh I guess it does huh…"

So you're not going to deny it then. That's fine too I guess.

In the background, I could vaguely make out a voice calling out Isshiki's name.

"Ah, sorry senpai. It looks like I have to be off now."

"That's fine, but when do you think you can get this done by?"

"I'll talk to the principal and the others on Monday. Soo if all goes well, the interview should be conducted on Tuesday at lunch?"

"Sounds good. Thanks again."

"Mhmm. Kay, I really gotta go now. Talk to you later!"

"Later."

After I hung up the phone, I proceeded to stretch my body out on the couch before stuffing my face into a throw cushion.

With the conclusion of that call, one part of the preparations was complete.

Although Isshiki had gotten over her crush on Hayama a while ago, I felt that telling her the intimate details of my plan might still have been a little bit too much for her heart to handle.

To address this issue, I avoided saying anything too specific while still effectively getting my request across to her. I thought I'd succeeded for the most part.

Although it was relatively difficult to convince her, it wasn't as hard as I had initially been anticipating.

I'd heard of reliable upperclassmen, but a reliable underclassman was something that was much more rare. However, if there ever were one, it would be Isshiki.

Between the big request I had just asked of her, as well as all the other little favors I had solicited from her over the course of the past two years, I was beginning to feel like I had become a little bit needy.

Lately, I'd found myself relying on her more than I would have liked. And _usually_ she came through. Emphasis on that last part.

Sometimes she would flake out, but for the most part, I had found a reliable person in the the second-year president.

Our relationship was a true give-and-take. Granted, the majority of the giving was on my part, but it certainly wasn't a one-way street. She had helped me a lot in the past, and if she could successfully convince the principal to approve the lunchtime interviews, then she would be helping me a lot this time as well.

I made a mental note to thank her again at school.

As the minute hand of the living room clock ticked noisily to signal the passage of time, I found myself in the same unmoving position that I had been occupying for the past ten minutes.

My body was still messily sprawled about the couch and my face that was completely submersed in the pillow's corduroy surface was beginning to grow numb.

Ahh where did all of that lovely motivation from earlier run off to?

As my mind drifted between a state of stupor and half-consciousness, a harsh creak suddenly sounded out.

The abrupt noise elevated my heart rate slightly, and I instinctively lifted one eye towards the living room door to ascertain the source of the jarring sound. However, I quickly planted my face back into the pillow immediately after.

"Ohoh someone looks awfully comfortable. Laznii-chan's not planning on lounging around on the couch all day is he?"

As expected, the perpetrator of the noise was Komachi.

"Leave me alone. I've already been plenty productive today." My response came out muffled through the pillow.

"Onii-chan, you might think that sleeping counts as work, but society's never going to accept that kind of definition."

"Huh? Komachi-chan, I thought you of all people would understand."

I turned my face slightly to the side, so that the pillow no longer obstructed my mouth, before lazily speaking.

"If absolutely everything in life takes effort then it would be fair to consider all of those things as work. However, sleep is the one thing that gives you an excuse not to make any effort and therefore, it's the only thing that can be excluded from that definition."

_Eh, I don't care if that only made a little bit of sense. Just let me laze around in peace, won't ya?_

"Okay smarty-pants, so you admit that you've done nothing today then."

Breach in logic detected. She tricked me…

"No, that's not… aah forget it. Where'd you just come back from anyways?"

I called out to Komachi's figure that was busily unloading items into the fridge and placing others onto the island countertop.

"Komachi was out buying supplies for baking of course!"

Baking supplies…? So what you're saying then is that you're making a baking surprise. I mean those two words sounded exactly the same you know.

Speaking of which… I didn't forget papan's birthday again, did I?

"Say, it isn't dad's birthday is it…"

"Dad's birthday? No, that's… um… It's either in summer or winter for sure, so we're safe!"

Those are complete opposites…

Way to show respect for your father Komachi—especially when it was so close to father's day no less… Wait, that holiday wasn't even close to happening was it? Huh…. Why is it so hard to remember anything related to celebrating pops?

Wait, what were we talking about again?

"Oh I see, you decided to bake a cake to help motivate Onii-chan to get off his butt huh? That right there scores pretty high in Komachi points doesn't it?"

"Gufufu Onii-chan you've found me out! I've been caught red-handed baking a wonderful cake for my wonderful big bro!"

The grin that splayed out across her face was warm and her cheeks that were slightly pink were adorably puffed out.

I grinned in response. My sister really was a cutie wasn't sh—

"No dummy. This cake isn't for you. But the fact that Onii-chan would think so highly of Komachi scores points all by itself though!"

Agh…Yep… my heart just got shredded into a million pieces right there. What did I ever do to earn that level of sarcastic response?

"Right… So if it's not for me, then what's the occasion?"

She stared at me with half-lidded eyes.

"Come on, use that big brain of yours and think hard about it."

Although her tone came off slightly bratty, I heeded her advice anyways and took a second to think about it.

What special events were there that were exclusive to April? Was she referring to the start of the spring anime season perhaps? Emperor Showa's birthday? The celebration feast that the local temple held every year in honor of the founder?

Or was it something entirely less wholesome…

"Uh… could it possibly be for Kanama Matsuri? That kind of thing is no good for a girl your age you know…"

"Haa… you're hopeless Onii-chan. Iroha-san's birthday is this week!"

Oh… that's right. I vaguely recall her mentioning last year that her birthday was in April. Come to think of it, she had actually been dropping small little hints this year too hadn't she?

Surprisingly though, she hadn't said anything too conspicuous over the phone earlier. I guess it must've slipped her mind.

…Or was this one of those things where she would get mad at me for not bringing it up myself, and for not saying "Hey girl, your birthday's coming up real soon and we needa hit the town and celebrate, ya hear!" or something.

"Ah yeah. Now that you mention it I guess you're right."

"Your fuzzy memory is one of the reasons you don't have a girlfriend yet you know."

"I'm pretty sure my fuzzy memory isn't the main cause for concern there…"

"Onii-chan being able to recognize his worthlessness always makes my heart swell with happiness. Acceptance is the first step to improvement y'know!"

Upon saying that, she threw out a peace sign and assumed a cutesy pose that looked like it came straight from some failed A StAtion audition tape. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the obnoxious display.

"Uh huh… just get back to baking and let me get back to what it was that I was doing."

I placed my head back into its pillow sheath once again.

However, as soon as my mind began to feel pleasantly empty, a shriek filled the air.

"Ahh!"

"What is it? What's wrong?"

My legs instinctively launched my body off of the couch and I entered into a ready stance. Protective Onii-chan Powers activate!

"I forgot to pick up the chocolate custard from Mimi's Bakery! Agh, and it's such a looong walk too… Stupid Komachi, stupid!"

Komachi groaned as she slapped herself on the forehead with her open palm.

"Oh… that's it?"

"That's it?! I can't make the cake without it! This is a disaster…"

The distress in Komachi's voice was evident as she mumbled to herself. The sullen atmosphere that suddenly enveloped her was thick as she unceremoniously tossed some ingredients to the side and began trudging towards the closet. Her eyes that looked so full of life just a minute ago seemed incredibly downcast as she threaded her arms through the sleeves of her coat.

I must say it was quite the overreaction over something so simple, but nonetheless her heartbroken expression was getting just a little bit too hard to bear.

I decided that I could bail her out this time.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

She suddenly perked up as I called out to her.

"Are you sure? It's all the way in Narashino district."

"Yeah yeah, I know. I've been there remember? And like you said, I don't have anything better to do so at least I can help you out in some way if I do this."

She ran over towards the couch and jumped into my arms. My knees buckled under the sudden weight and I let out a sharp grunt.

"Oof…"

"You're the best bro ever Onii-chan! A thousand points to Hachiman!"

"Yeah, sure. Just don't forget to write my name on the card when you present all of this to her."

She pulled herself away slightly before looking up at me with a stilted expression.

"Wow, this guy really is a proper scumbag…"

What's up with that disgusted look..? I agreed to help; my reasons for doing so shouldn't matter.

* * *

I had headed out on my bicycle after changing into a shirt and a pair of shorts that were slightly more appropriate for the public eye.

As expected, the weather outside was temperate and the air was cool despite the shining sun overhead.

As I pedaled, my mind drifted to the task that lay ahead of me.

Narashino district. Also known as the big-business sector of Chiba.

Most of Chiba's large corporate offices and buildings were located there, and if you came at the right time, you could see salarymen exiting in droves to lunch or home or wherever it was they went when their shackles were finally loosened for the day.

Even though today was a weekend, it wasn't like everybody had the luxury of relaxing at home.

Corporate slaves held obligations to their companies whether they liked it or not. They were easily expendable as well.

If their boss asked them to work over the weekend and they refused, more than likely they would be let go without so much as a second thought from their employer.

That meant that those who wanted to keep their jobs would often have to kiss the butts of their superiors, and volunteer to do overtime or work through weekends just to stay afloat.

This didn't necessarily guarantee them promotions, but it meant that they were less likely to get culled during the next round of the unemployment harvest. Sometimes, it wouldn't help at all and they would still be fired, but along with that inevitable fate would also come the fact that they had worked themselves to the bone only to get tossed aside in the end anyways.

Also, there was bound to be a sense of smug satisfaction wafting off their bosses that said something like, "Thanks a ton for working so exceptionally hard these past few weeks! Now enjoy the rest of your mediocre life living off unemployment."

And yet, with all of this practically being common knowledge, I still got funny looks when I told people that I didn't want to work.

A bead of sweat rolled down my neck as I pedaled through the street.

Unlike the slightly more rural areas of Kamagaya and Shiroi, Narashino was highly industrialized, and as a result was also the home of many upscale neighborhoods. In addition to the office buildings that saturated the precinct, there were also plenty of bustling shopping centers and fancy highrises as well.

Speaking of which… Yukinoshita's apartment was located in Narashino.

"Aye, Aye, stop!"

A sudden voice called out in surprise as my tires screeched to a rather abrupt halt.

I nearly crashed into a pedestrian and was barely able to avoid ramming into him by way of my cat-like reflexes in squeezing the brakes.

As I rubbed at my knee that had hit the handlebars in the sudden stop, I apologized to the man standing in front of me.

"Aah, my bad sir. Sorry."

"Oi, crazy kids. Watch for where you're going next time alright?"

"Ah yeah… I'll try to slow down."

"Yeah sure, that'll do it."

The man seemingly took a moment to analyze my figure as he peered at my face and looked me over once. After a moment, he rubbed at the thin beard on his chin before continuing.

"What's the rush anyhow? You going to see a see a girl or something? I mean I want to get back to my wife too but I ain't sprinting around town or anything."

"Aah, no. It's not that."

"Well, still. Take it down a notch. You aren't Mach GoGoGo in any case."

"Yes. Sorry again."

Mach GoGoGo? I was feeling apologetic for a second there until you started bombarding me with outdated references, you dinosaur.

…But then again, he was half right. I _was_ thinking about Yukinoshita just a second ago—well, her apartment anyway—which was what had made me lose focus.

Her apartment was located in Narashino. In fact, it was only two blocks from Mimi's bakery if I remembered correctly.

Perhaps I should give her a call since I'm going to be so close by? In any case, we could talk about the request, so there was that reason if nothing else.

I dragged my bike onto the sidewalk and dialed her number on my phone. I'm sure Komachi wouldn't mind if I took a small detour.

After a few rings, a cool voice spoke from the other line.

"H-Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

That was pretty much my standard greeting these days wasn't it?

"...Yes I know. I have your number saved, remember?"

"Ah. That's right."

Although we'd agreed to exchange numbers a while back, it still felt a little weird to have Yukinoshita's number in my phone and mine in hers. The thought alone made me feel slightly odd for whatever reason.

Still, I pressed on and told her my reason for calling.

"I'm stopping in Narashino to pick up some supplies for Komachi. Want to meet up and talk about the case?"

There was a silence for a brief moment.

"Um… what would you want to discuss?"

"Well, I talked with Isshiki earlier and she said she was good on her end. So I guess just about the remaining details and finalizing everything."

"Oh I see. In that case… Yes. I can meet you. Where are you?"

"I'm biking over there right now. Since your apartment is so close, you want me to just stop by so you don't have to go out?"

Another silence fell over the conversation.

Hello? Earth to Yukinoshita.

All of these pauses were really beginning to make me feel self-conscious.

Was it that I had spotty signal in this area? Or was I just that hard to keep a conversation with?

After a beat, Yukinoshita answered in a soft voice.

"I… I don't know if that would be the best place… Thank you for being considerate of me though."

"Wh—"

It was as soon as my voice had escaped from my throat that had I grasped at the implication that laid on the surface of her words. My mouth twitched slightly before stammering out a response on its own.

"O-oh yeah, never mind."

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly despite being alone on the street corner.

I hadn't even thought about it like that. I suppose I had never actually been to Yukinoshita's apartment all by myself before. Some might have considered it odd given how long we'd known each other, but seeing as how it was Yukinoshita we were talking about, it wasn't anything surprising.

Still, I certainly couldn't blame her for at least being wary.

I mean, me going into her apartment alone without Yuigahama?

That sounded too dangerously close to some sort of secret tryst for her (and my) liking. Her neighbors could easily get the wrong idea, even though _we_ both knew that the chances of something like that happening were next to impossible at best.

But even then, I couldn't help but think that…

"There's a park located a few blocks away from my apartment. Is it alright if I meet you there?"

Yukinoshita's voice broke the silence and brought me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah sure, that's fine."

As I spoke to affirm, I realized that the little meeting we had set up was shy one member.

"Oh yeah, should I call Yuigahama over too?"

"Erm. Well if we're just going to be going over the final details then I believe just the two of us would be fine…"

True. There was no need to bother her on her day off for something so routine and unofficial.

"Gotcha. I'll call you when I get close then. Seeya."

"Okay. Goodbye Hikigaya-kun."

After hanging up the phone, I pushed my bike back onto the street and continued pedaling towards my destination.

As the wheels of my bike made their revolutions and my legs pushed one pedal down after the other, the murkiness that had settled over my mind that morning began to clear.

I inhaled the fresh air and listened to the bustling of the traffic and the faint music that emanated from the local shops as I passed them by. Along with this pleasant stimulation of my senses came a sensation of tranquility that I found myself intoxicated by.

My mouth wore a light smile, and my hair that was stuck to my forehead before was now being gently strewn by the wind.

My legs that should've been burning felt pleasantly tight, and my breaths that should've been hot and heavy were light and airy instead.

As for the distance, I couldn't say I minded it all that much.

Sure that part of Chiba was pretty far away by foot, but when you considered the speed and distance that could be covered by a bicycle, it turned out the trip didn't actually take all that long.

As a result, I had made it to the park near Yukinoshita's apartment in decent time.

As my wheels slowed to a stop over the gravelly surface of the pathway, I pulled out my phone and called her to let her know that I was here.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm at the park."

"Okay, give me a second and I'll be right down."

With that, the phone call ended. I locked my bike to a post before sitting down on one of the park benches that sat atop a slightly raised platform.

The bench was cleverly placed. Not only was it removed from the hustle and bustle of the park's main footpaths, it also provided a great view of the park's small pond and the aquatic life that inhabited it.

Ducks were swimming around on the pond's still surface while geese and turtles sprawled out lazily near the outer edges. Occasionally, a group of koi fish would breach the shallow surface when a stray cherry blossom petal would fall onto the water, only to quickly turn away in realization of their mistake.

The pond wasn't the only thing the park had to offer.

Laid out all around me were beautiful trees with fresh green leaves and colorful, blooming flowers that adorned their branches. The large sakura tree that hung over and shaded the bench from the sun's rays was especially beautiful.

Like Yuigahama had said the other day, the cherry blossoms during this time of year were absolutely stunning. Their petals looked extremely vivid against the contrast of the sky, and the subtle accents of pink against blue created a sight that was incredibly pleasing to the eyes.

As I absorbed the beautiful scenery, a slight pang of jealousy nibbled at me. It was just a little unfair that Yukinoshita lived next to such a beautiful part of Chiba while the view from my house consisted mainly of industrial areas and construction sites.

I-I mean, all of Chiba was beautiful but this part was especially beautiful! I'm not playing favorites or anything here I swear. Picking a favorite part of Chiba is like trying to pick between collector's tins. They're all great!

…But honestly speaking, the scenery that stretched out in front of me really was a captivating and radiant sight.

However, as I briefly turned my attention away from the blooming tree overhead, my eyes suddenly fell upon something that comparatively speaking, wasn't merely radiant, but blinding.

The figure that approached me took small steps and had one hand wrapped tenderly around the strap of her small purse. The sundress she wore was strikingly white, which created a sharp yet captivating contrast with her dark, silky hair. This contrast was one that held my attention and refused to let it go.

Eventually, she approached the bench, and greeted me with a cool tone.

"Hello."

This girl was Yukinoshita Yukino.

"Sup."

I instinctively scooted to the side to make room for her. However, given the large size of the bench, I quickly realized that my action was nothing short of pointless.

Luckily, she didn't seem to think anything of it, and sat in the spot that I had previously occupied.

"So what sort of supplies are you buying for Komachi?"

Eventually, Yukinoshita voiced a question after turning to face me.

"She's baking a cake and forgot to pick up chocolate custard filling from a bakery near here, so I volunteered to get it for her."

"Oh, I see. You're referring to Mimi's Bakery right? They're very well known for their custard recipe."

"Yup, that's the one. My dad used to drive me and Komachi down here all the time after swim practice to get creampuffs. I guess she remembered how good the filling was and wanted to try it in her own recipe."

As I spoke, Yukinoshita turned away slightly and hummed softly before speaking herself.

"Mmm. My father used to take nee-san and me there when we were younger as well. It would only be for incredibly special occasions, but I remember that he'd let me choose anything I wanted and I'd always pick the dark-chocolate covered bizcocho with cherry filling."

My face scrunched up a little as she spoke.

"Wasn't that one really bitter? I tried it once and had to give the rest away to my pops."

Not that he minded at all or anything.

Actually, come to think of it, he was the one who recommended it to me in the first place…

So he knew that a kid wouldn't be able to handle the overwhelmingly bitter taste and realized that he'd end up getting two times the shares… Impressive dad. Your ability to be despicable was truly impressive.

An incredibly soft chuckle could be heard to my right. After a second, Yukinoshita spoke with a faintly amused tone.

"Why am I entirely unsurprised that you can't handle bitter things? The truth about working, for example."

"I can handle bitter things just fine… Working, on the other hand, is something more like toxic than it is bitter though."

As I spoke, I inwardly braced myself for Yukinoshita's inevitable retort—but it never came. Instead, her eyes looked distracted and she was staring out vacantly at the pond.

"You are correct though. That pastry that I loved so much was probably the most bitter thing I'd ever tasted."

"So you're saying you didn't like it then…"

"No, that's not it."

As she shook her head slightly, the ends of her hair swayed as well. I smelled a brief hint of flowers for a second, and it wasn't from the petals of the sakura tree that hung above us.

"It's funny. Perhaps the reason that I liked it so much was because of how unpleasant its taste was."

I didn't quite follow her logic on that one. Still, judging by the expression on her face, it looked like she was going to continue so I didn't bother voicing my opinion.

"Being able to endure through the bitter taste of the dark chocolate always made getting to the sweet filling all the more satisfying. To be honest, I think I liked the struggle of it more than the actual pastry itself."

Now_ that_ certainly sounded like something that Yukinoshita might do.

Even so, I understood what she meant. It might sound out of place coming from a person that says 'to work is to lose' but… Working hard for something always meant that the reward would be greater.

Think, writhe, struggle, and agonize.

Without those things, what it was you were hoping to gain wasn't truly worth fighting for.

I opened my mouth to answer, but she continued before I had a chance to.

"Of course my mother would always yell at my father and me afterwards, and tell us that we were being irresponsible for eating such pointlessly unhealthy food."

The tone of her voice was slightly somber. She paused for a second.

As I looked at the expression on her face, I found myself desperately wanting to say something for some reason. Not a single word found its way out of my open mouth though.

Her eyes were still fixed on the water's glassy surface as she finally continued.

"Then again, that's not entirely right… I actually don't think I've ever heard my mother yell before. Not even once. When she's angry or displeased, her eyes always grow sharper. Her face and body might not have betrayed how she really felt, but it was hard to miss the disappointment that would linger in her eyes. The way she spoke to me when she was like that was always enough to make me hate myself afterwards."

Suddenly, my chest grew abnormally heavy. I think my mouth opened a little bit too.

Hearing those words pour from Yukinoshita's lips was something like nails on a chalkboard for me.

It was true that parents had the responsibility to educate and guide their children. This meant teaching them right from wrong and correcting any inappropriate behavior before it became completely uncontrollable. If those lessons involved tough love or hammering home those points with the occasional scolding or grounding, then that seemed inevitable and in the end, completely necessary.

Yet, from the way Yukinoshita had described her mother's methods alone, it wasn't hard to tell that they went beyond anything that could be described so simply as 'tough love'.

In some cases, the stick was definitely preferable to the carrot. Showering kids with rewards and golden stickers that say, "You're special in every way and the world is yours for the taking!" is how brats end up being formed.

But when that stick turns into a knife, you know you've gone way too far. In this case, that knife wasn't just any knife; it was one that was laced with poison.

Clearly Yukinoshita had suffered at the hands of her mother. It didn't take a genius to deduce as much from the way she was speaking. However, I doubted that this damage was anything as simple as a light scolding with a hug afterwards, or even something like a physical punishment with a belt or bamboo rod. Those types of things were altogether different; they were unpleasant and uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. They didn't leave scars.

It sounded like the type of punishment her mother had inflicted on her hadn't been one that intended to chastise or reinforce; it was one that aimed to disintegrate and mold. To strip away the mistakes that defined her, and to burn away at all of the parts that were considered undesirable. To shape Yukinoshita into something that was worthy of bearing the precious family name—her happiness be damned.

It was strange how strongly I felt about all of this because for all of my opinions and thoughts, I still couldn't claim to know all that much about her mother. But based on the scraps and tidbits of information that I had been able to gather in my years talking about her with Yukinoshita, and from the few times I had met her in a personal capacity, I concluded then that she wasn't a person that I admired, and she wasn't one that was worth knowing.

Yukinoshita was though.

Considering the torment she had to endure at the hands of her classmates combined with all of this, I was genuinely surprised that the Yukinoshita I knew today was still so composed and still so tenacious.

Still a good person.

"That's... not right at all. I'm sorry you had to go through that type of thing."

She turned her head towards me as I spoke. Her eyes that looked vacant before seemed slightly more alert now. However, they still held an edge of softness to them.

"Th-thank you. Truthfully, it wasn't entirely bad. It was always the small moments that made things like that bearable. That's why I was always so excited to go to the bakery with my father…"

She looked up thoughtfully before continuing.

"In fact… when I told my parents that I wanted to live on my own, I think part of the reason I chose this area was because it was so close to that shop. Of course, I haven't visited it once since moving here for whatever reason."

I stared at her profile. The sunlight that seeped through the holes in the petals above illuminated her pale skin and pink lips.

The words that came out of my mouth next were said without thinking.

"Perhaps we should go sometime."

She looked at me. In her moist eyes, something flashed by for just a moment before slightly fading away.

"O-oh. I… I would like that."

The edges of her lips curled up into her rosy cheeks as she smiled.

"So. You mentioned earlier that Isshiki said she would help?"

"Yeah. She wasn't on board at first, but it wasn't hard to convince her after I brought up all of the times we've helped her in the past."

"Yes, Isshiki-san really does come to the club for help quite often doesn't she?"

Yukinoshita made a small smile as she spoke.

"Yep. Well, to be fair she has been a little more independent lately. With us being gone next year, she's going to have to start relying on her own abilities a lot more so it's good that she's starting now."

"It's probably because you coddle her so much that she became so reliant in the first place."

I was caught slightly off guard by Yukinoshita's words. I certainly didn't think I treated Isshiki any differently than I did anyone else.

"Huh? That's not true. If anything, I'd say I'm actually rather harsh with her."

"Carrying her bag to class, helping her with her essays, and indulging her in her pointless chats about fashion can hardly be considered anything too stringent."

Although her tone seemed to be airy and light, the slight smile that adorned her face looked oddly out of place.

"Well, it'd be pretty impolite to just flat out tell her no in those types of situations. I don't like doing it, but that's just what a gentleman does." I shrugged my shoulders in attempt at nonchalance.

"I believe we were talking about you, something that's far removed from the concept of gentlemen entirely."

She spoke as if it what she had said was the obvious thing in the world.

"Real clever." I said under my breath in response.

She smiled blithely.

"Still, if you keep that sort of thing up, she might begin to believe you have feelings for her."

"You don't need to be worried about that. She's already rejected me more times than I can remember."

She made a complicated expression before closing her eyes. Her sudden action surprised me, but before I had a chance to probe, she continued.

"Hikigaya-kun, sometimes I think for a moment that you're one of the most intelligent people I know, and then you so suddenly and violently flip that understanding around. You're the only person I've ever met that's been able to keep me guessing so much."

She opened her eyes before shaking her head slightly as she spoke.

If that was supposed to be a compliment, it certainly could've used a better delivery. I looked at her face before answering.

"Aren't unpredictable things preferable though?"

My mouth defaulted into an unpleasant smile. I said something that was very Isshiki-like right there.

While it was true that unpredictable things did hold an air of mystery to them, stable and reliable things were preferable in most cases. Especially to someone like Yukinoshita who seemed to hate the unknown and lived life according to an unerring sense of logic, unpredictable things were by definition, unfavorable.

"I suppose they are."

"O-oh."

My voice that answered automatically was meek.

Again, that wasn't the response I was expecting... I had prepared myself for a sarcastic retort, but like so many other times lately, none came.

Was I growing out of touch with reality here…?

"Anyways. Back on the subject of the request, you said that there were a few more details that needed to be worked out?"

Yukinoshita refocused the conversation with a few short words. Leave it to her to want to get back to business already.

"Y-Yeah… Well, Isshiki will probably be able to get the interview approved, so I was thinking that we could get Totsuka to talk about his future plans for the broadcast."

"He was accepted into Seijishi College right? I heard he was granted a scholarship for tennis."

"Yeah, that's right as far as I know. That fact also gives him even more to talk about, so I think he's the best choice for this."

"Yes, I think so too."

She folded her hands in her lap after speaking.

A gust of wind blew through the air at that moment, sweeping her dark hair across the sides of her face. If I had been sitting an inch closer, a few strands would've brushed the tip of my nose.

"Well, if that's all that needs to be discussed, I think you should return to your errand. After all, Komachi isn't exactly the patient type."

That was certainly true… I checked my wristwatch to see that our conversation had lasted longer than I had expected it to.

"You're right. I'd better get going."

As I motioned to stand, I remembered something and called out to Yukinoshita.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your apartment?"

She looked just a little taken aback, but answered me with a small smile.

"Thank you… but it's close."

"Alright, see you then."

"Yes. I'll see you later Hikigaya-kun."

She waved lightly before picking up her bag and walking away. As I watched her go, I breathed out slightly, and then closed my eyes.

I felt the warmth of the air surround my skin, and the prickle of the wind as it blew softly against my face and hair.

After taking a second to unwind, I stood. I unlocked my bike from the post and began to walk it along the path and towards the street.

However, my mood that had been relaxed suddenly turned sour as I saw someone bound towards me, a large smile twisted across her features.

* * *

"Hikigaya-kun!"

I hurried my step, and the tires of my bicycle rolled faster alongside me.

"Heeeey! Hikigaya-kun, it's me!"

A clattering of footsteps could be heard from behind. Their pitters and patters grew louder as if to signal the futility of my retreat.

I was tapped on the shoulder multiple times.

"Hey! There's no need to be so rude. I know you saw me."

My feet stilled and I turned to face the owner of that voice.

The voice alone was unmistakable. It was one that I could recognize even if it were whispered underwater while the last traces of my oxygen were being sucked away from my lungs.

"Ah sorry, I guess I turned away too quickly."

"Mhmm. I'll choose to believe you this time."

This person was Yukinoshita Haruno.

"So what were you and Yukino-chan doing? In the park for a secret mid-afternoon tryst eh?"

Forget nosy neighbors; stalker older sisters were the bigger concern here.

She didn't even try to play off the fact that she'd been watching us.

I guess it was just a cruel fact of life that Haruno would relentlessly follow us around wherever we went. Me approving or disapproving of her actions didn't really matter one way or the other. She could be hiding around any corner and there wasn't much I—or Yukinoshita for that matter—could do to stop her.

A Haruno-infested nightmare was our reality now.

"Yeah right…"

I answered vaguely and nonchalantly, hoping that she would get bored and leave. However, I highly doubted that that was even a possibility at this point.

"Oh was I mistaken? Ah, it was just a casual outing for two lovers then. Not as exciting as some sort of secret rendezvous, but cute nonetheless."

I continued walking along the stone path. After I had made it about five steps, Haruno followed and fell into step beside me.

"Relax Hikigaya-kun. I'm kidding after all."

"Right… There's just somewhere I need to be, that's all."

"Yukino-chan's apartment is that way you know."

My forehead throbbed slightly.

Suddenly a bright laugh filled the air.

"Hahaha! Don't be so grim. I'm still joking around."

"Uh huh… Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to head to my destination."

I nodded towards the bicycle in my hands as I spoke.

"Oh, what's the rush? Where to? I'll walk with you."

"Mim—"

Although I had considered saying the name of the place out loud, I quickly cut myself off and withdrew my words. Because this place held significance to Yukinoshita and probably Haruno as well, I felt that telling her would just lead to an unpleasant and unnecessary conversation.

"Nowhere in particular."

She hummed in response, and folded her arms across her chest. Given her low-cut blouse, this simple action accentuated her large chest to a degree that I was uncomfortable with.

I looked away.

"Mm. Okay, that's fine too. So if you two lovebirds didn't meet up for a date, what could you have possibly been doing I wonder?"

We had met up to talk about the request. Not that I would ever divulge that information to her willingly.

However, the thought of the request suddenly brought up something that I had actually wanted to ask her about for a while now.

I used the opportunity to change the subject.

"Say, you wouldn't happen to know why Hayama's been acting so weird lately would you?"

"Hmm? Hayato-kun? That certainly is an odd thing to ask about."

"Well, he's been acting sort of strange so I was curious. That's all."

"Mm, I see."

The words she said held the implication that she'd believed me. Whether or not she actually did however, was anyone's guess.

"Well thinking back on it, there wasn't anything particularly strange in his behavior recently…"

She tapped a finger to her chin as she delved into thought.

"Oh! He did confess to me a few months back."

I stopped walking and turned to face the person on my right. The chains on my bike rattled slightly as they came to an abrupt stop.

As I stared at her face, she made a small smile.

"You look like I've just told you a big secret or something. I mean it shouldn't be that surprising or anything. He made it pretty obvious after all."

The nonchalance with which she spoke caused my leg to spasm for a second, and I kicked the frame of my bicycle by accident.

"I mean, I must say that him confessing so suddenly was a little out of character, but ultimately my rejection could be considered a formality at best."

Her tone betrayed no emotion. It was airy yet completely straightforward.

"Formality… what do you mean?"

"Well, I knew that Hayato-kun liked me for a long time now. I'm pretty sure he knew that I knew too. It was only a matter of time until he came out with it I suppose."

She responded with a bored look on her face.

"Normally I wouldn't care, but isn't it a bit cruel to say it like that?" I turned slightly towards her before voicing my own thought.

Her face that looked bored before suddenly lit up and her mouth opened slightly in mock surprise.

"Hikigaya-kun… Could it be that you've finally grown a heart? Has your time with Yukino-chan really turned you into such a maiden in love?"

Ah she's criticizing me for being heartless? The mere thought made me want to laugh maniacally like sort of depraved anime character.

"You're one to talk… and that's not it… It's just that he and you are family friends aren't you? A harsh rejection like that could've strained your alliance."

A snort.

"Please, that's what you think I should be worried about? Hayato-kun would never jeopardize his family's image over something so small. You clearly haven't been paying enough attention to how hard he works to maintain appearances if you think he'd risk them over something like his feelings."

No, I had definitely payed enough attention.

"That's exactly what makes him so boring though."

Her pace slowed as she spoke.

"When he was younger, he was pretty hot-headed and passionate, but after… was it around sixth grade I want to say? He started to get progressively duller. You would think that in a situation like this he would at least try to convince me otherwise, but after I rejected him, he just stayed quiet and walked away with a smile on his face."

The situation she described was definitely one that I could see realistically happening.

But even so, I couldn't say that his decision was wrong or anything. I mean staying humble and accepting it without fuss was the right way to handle a rejection. I'd learned that myself the hard way.

"Isn't that what rational-headed adults are supposed to do? I don't see how throwing a fit would help at all…"

"Hahahahaha! Hikigaya-kun! Don't tell me you would just sit back and accept defeat so easily if the girl you loved turned you down. Wouldn't you at least try and fight to win her over?"

Her sudden burst of laughter had startled me a little bit.

"Well, I probably wouldn't ever be in a position to confess my feelings like that, so no."

I responded to her inquiry with an even tone. I noticed that we had both stopped walking.

"You never know Hikigaya-kun… some girls are just waiting around for their prince charming to sweep them off their feet. I could definitely see that prince charming being you."

Wh-Why are you saying such embarrassing things so suddenly? As a result of her unexpected thought, my voice came out uneasily.

"Ah… you can huh. I probably wouldn't put up much of a fight either though, so that type of scenario is pretty much out of the question."

"Your memory must not be all that great then. I recall something like that happening not all that long ago."

I paused. I wasn't sure what she was referring to specifically.

"What do you mean?"

"Hmm. I wonder."

I was met with a teasing wink.

I uneasily gripped at the handlebars of my bike before falling back into step.

Slowly, we resumed our pace and continued walking through the tree-lined path.

"Anyways, I'd like to talk about you and Yukino some more!"

"Seriously, there's nothing to talk about…"

"Really, because judging by the energetic tone she was using last week, it sounds like she has plenty to say about you…"

So they had talked recently. And Yukinoshita was talking about me energetically..?

"O-oh. I'm pretty sure everyone knows I got rejected from Aoyama already. Tell her she doesn't need to scream it from the rooftops for people to know she's smarter than me."

"Ha! It was nothing so insulting I can assure you. In fact, it was actually rather sweet."

Although by all accounts Haruno's words could be interpreted as friendly and warm, I noticed a rippling undercurrent running through them. Of what, I couldn't exactly say.

"Yukinoshita saying something sweet… Are you sure it wasn't a barb disguised as a half-assed compliment? She tends to do that a lot you know."

"Hey, we both know Yukino's a sweet girl. Don't go badmouthing her behind her back or I might just be forced to tell her all about this conversation."

She wagged her finger slightly as she said that.

"And you should call her Yukino! Referring to her by my family name in front of me is just a little bit too stiff for my tastes."

"I'm pretty sure we both prefer just Yukinoshita."

"Ugh how is it that you can be so difficult yet so cute at the same time?"

She looked at my face with spritely eyes and a seemingly warm smile.

My years of experience with dealing with her off-handed little comments that were meant to rile me up had made me immune to her charm. As a result, I was able to think clearly.

"Just one of my special skills I guess."

"I see." She smiled neutrally.

"Come to think of it, I don't believe you've ever really addressed me directly by name in all this time that we've known each other. So what exactly would you call me if the need ever presented itself?"

"Older Yukinoshita is usually what I think in my head."

"That makes me sound like I'm Yukino's mom or something… Try something else."

She lightly punched at my arm. I humored her, and took a moment to think about my answer. Suddenly, I remembered something that we had once talked about.

"The Great Tyrant King Yukinoshita?"

I paused and expected her to break into another bout of obnoxious laughter, but she never did.

"Just Yukinoshita-san is fine, I suppose."

The smile that rested on her lips looked thin and the look in her eyes was hard to read.

"Gotcha…" I replied uneasily.

A short silence fell over the conversation. Eventually, I spoke in an attempt to divert the topic back to something that I was more comfortable talking about.

"So back to the main subject. If you knew that Hayama liked you all along, why didn—"

"The main subject? You're making it painfully obvious that you're planning on doing something to Hayato-kun you know."

I paused and turned my eyes to my right. Her tone was unabashedly sharp. Had I hit a nerve or something?

"Huh? No I was just aski—"

I was interrupted again.

"Come on Hikigaya-kun, I'm honestly getting sort of bored with tip-toeing around the subject. Dancing around without mentioning anything specific can be fun for a time, but the novelty wears off you know. If you have a specific concern, it'd be best if you just came out with it already."

"…"

I struggled for words as I realized just how quickly the conversation had changed moods. What had seemed good-natured and fun earlier had turned antagonistic in just a moment's notice.

"Hey come on, don't give me that look. You're the one who supposedly hates superficiality you know. Weren't you the person who said you were looking for something genuine? Well our relationship can't be genuine if you keep pussyfooting around me so much. Let's talk as equals for once."

Right. As if Haruno would ever talk to anyone as an equal. No, she always had to have one leg up in every situation. If she didn't then she would find a way to secure that advantage.

Still, the way she said that last part really irked me.

"The thing I wanted never had anything to do with you…"

"Ah that's right. It was with Yukino-chan wasn't it? That genuine relationship that you wanted so badly."

Her saccharine smile that would have looked beautiful to any other person looked horrendously twisted to my eyes.

"…Yuigahama too."

I interjected after a beat.

As we walked, I noticed that we had made it out of the park and were now back on the street. I could see the signs advertising the bakery from where I was standing.

"Mm. Well, let me just say it now so there's no confusion. That thing you were looking for? It's just a myth. You might think that the fruit that you've worked so hard to rear is finally ripe and ready for picking, but you'll soon find that the grape on the vine has soured. It's turned into a poison. Perhaps even one that's slow-acting."

I shivered as those words drifted into my ears over the sounds of traffic.

I spoke abruptly.

"My destination's around here."

"Ah okay perfect. I probably have to be going now as well. It was a fun chat in any case."

I didn't offer a response.

"I'll see you later Hikigaya-kun."

She waved slightly with a small smile before walking happily in the opposite direction.

I hopped aboard my bike and began pedaling the remaining distance.

Those exact same words were said earlier, but this time around they sounded far more sinister.

* * *

As I entered the store, the scent of baked goods overwhelmed my nostrils.

I lined up in the considerably long queue, and after a few minutes, reached the main counter. I called out to place my order.

"Can I get a container of chocolate custard please?"

I paused slightly after I had finished speaking.

"…Ah, can I also get a dark-chocolate bizcocho as well?"

After receiving my items, I walked out of the store, plastic bag in hand.

Before boarding my bike, I pulled out the pastry and stared at it through its oblique wrapper.

Exactly how bitter was this thing? That's what I wanted to find out.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** Whatever happened to that lazy writer lose? Sorry for the huge delay everyone. It was due partly to laziness, but mostly to general writer's block and struggles with how to write certain scenes. This chapter is by far the longest, so it should make up for the wait a little bit. Truth be told, a lot of material got cut from this chapter actually, approximately 1500 words worth of monologue that I had previously intended to include. Also, it looks like Watari has forced my hand. Vol. 10 and downwards are canon for this story; it's AU after that point. Anyways, I'd really like it if you guys left reviews. They inspire me to write more and all that. Enjoy.

**Chapter 6: As They Drink **_**Their**_** Tea, A Tempest Brews Above.**

Even with my jacket's hood pulled all the way over my head, I could still feel the wet drops as they cascaded over my forehead and cheeks.

I pulled at the strings that dangled loosely around my neck in an attempt to readjust my coat, but it made no difference which way I pulled or tugged. I was still getting drenched underneath the heavy downpour of rain that was falling from the murky clouds above, and I was still shivering from the chills that those cold drops had sent coursing throughout my body.

I sighed out as I walked, a puff of vapor from my mouth disintegrating before me like a thin fog. My nose twitched as the mist from my breath and the odor of petrichor mixed and prickled at my nostrils. As I continued to saunter along the crowded sidewalks of Chiba, my mind automatically registered the details of the environment that surrounded me.

Huge swarms of people were huddling under their umbrellas, their feet dragging as they meandered through the congestion. Some were absently fiddling with their phones as they walked, but most simply stared straight ahead with stony expressions.

More than once, the man walking in front of me stopped suddenly to look at his wristwatch and then sent me dirty looks over his shoulder when I accidentally clipped the back of his shoe with my foot. I would spit out a short apology each time but it was his fault anyways, so my words lacked warmth.

It seemed that the stifling atmosphere that this type of weather brought wasn't only suffocating in a physical sense, but in a psychological one as well.

My shoulders instinctively shrugged as these thoughts churned aimlessly in my head. It wasn't surprising that gloomy weather like this put people in terrible moods. Most people already teetered on the edge of normality and mental breakdown. One errant thing—no matter how seemingly trivial—could easily act as a trigger for a random outburst.

I continued my mechanical examination of my surroundings; my feet instinctively planting themselves step after step into the wet cement of the sidewalk. My eyes, which I constantly had to blink to clear raindrops from, naturally angled towards the sky and also the traffic-laden streets that ran parallel to where I was walking.

I winced as a particularly large raindrop fell on the tip of my nose.

Thick, heavy drops were falling from the sky at an incredibly frenzied pace. The tiny tributaries and streams that were beginning to form along the cracks and potholes in the streets were flowing loudly and aggressively. The dark clouds above stretched towards every side of the horizon and loomed overhead like permanent shadows.

I could even hear the faint sound of thunder as it echoed from a distance away.

All things considered, today was pretty much the worst possible day for an airy stroll through Chiba district.

With that being the case, I honestly wasn't even a little bit surprised that fate had chosen a day like this for my bicycle brakes to so suddenly fall apart like they had that morning. Add this unfortunate timing to the fact that Komachi and my parents had taken both umbrellas with them when they had left to Funabashi that morning, and you would begin to understand why I wasn't in the best mood.

I felt my toes get soaked as water from a muddy puddle poured through a hole in the bottom of my sneaker.

Anyways, it went without saying that walking through a storm really sucked.

It took nearly twenty more minutes of walking until I finally arrived at the front gates of Sobu High.

As I had expected, I ended up being pretty late after having been ensnared in the crowd of pedestrians on my way to school.

Aside from a couple of stragglers that were walking briskly towards the entrance of the main building, the exterior of the school was completely deserted. Normally, the physical education classes during first period would be engaging in some random athletic-related activity near the field bordering the special building, but on account of the torrential downpour of rain that had, and was currently soaking the entire campus, there wasn't a soul in sight.

I hurried my pace and lazily wiped my wet hair on my equally wet jacket before entering the building.

Like the campus outside, the hallway was also eerily silent. Even the students that I had seen a few moments earlier were nowhere to be found as I made my way towards the staircase that led up to the third level.

As I hurriedly climbed the stairs, my drenched sneakers let out an irritating squeak with each step. In my wake I left a trail of muddied footprints and grass clippings from when I had cut through the school's front lawn earlier. I couldn't help but feel bad for the janitor who would have to deal with the mess that I had left behind, but because it was his job and all, I guess there wasn't really a point in beating myself up over it any more than was necessary.

I breathed out slightly when I finally reached the entrance to classroom 3-C.

Showing up late to class was, without exception, always an embarrassing thing to do. Even if you had a completely justifiable excuse—which I did in that I was stuck in rain-induced traffic—the probing stares and wayward glances that came your way when you walked in were always enough to make your cheeks heat up. Usually, when you finally made it to your seat, you'd stare at the board dutifully with your hands crossed in front of your chest like some sort of model student just to try to divert some of the attention off of you.

However, what was even worse was that because you were walking in late, you'd inevitably interrupt the teacher right in the middle of his lesson as you practically power-walked towards your desk. Sure your teacher might reassure you that it wasn't a big deal or that the traffic really _was_ bad that day, but if you turned your head ever so slightly in his direction, you could easily notice the faint look of annoyance on his face.

Therefore, because you'd want to be courteous to your teacher and fellow students, it was natural that you would want to wait for a pause in the lesson before you made your way in. However, this wasn't a good idea either. Source: me.

Once in middle school after missing the bus, I waited with my ear propped against the class door for the most opportune moment to sneak into the room without making too much noise. However, my teacher saw me through the tiny circular window in the doorframe, and personally interrupted his lesson in order to tell me to hurry up and to stop wasting his and everyone else's time. I of course responded politely and didn't make a fuss for the rest of the class (or year), but that didn't stop him from referring to me as a 'rude punk' the entire week after that; a nickname that became unexplainably popular amongst my classmates. It was a pretty humiliating experience to say the least.

But that's what you get for being considerate kids. It's better to play the devil may care delinquent that barges in than to be the guy who overthinks everything to the point of idiocy, and gets made fun of for it.

After standing around idly for a few moments, I took a shallow breath and grabbed the handle to slide the door open.

As the rough panels folded apart, eyes from every corner of the classroom fell upon me, most surprised, some annoyed. As I entered, my own eyes naturally gravitated towards the group positioned at the center of the classroom, their attractive faces and quiet charisma catching my attention despite my best attempt at facing completely forwards.

For a brief second, my eyes connected with Yuigahama's, and she sent me a small smile through her closed lips. I nodded ever so slightly in return.

Tobe and Ebina's glances lingered on me for just a moment longer than necessary. Brimming on the surface of their eyes was something that I wasn't used to seeing from them—at the very least not directed at me.

Miura, whose hands had been moving feverishly just a second ago jotting down notes, stilled suddenly. The gaze that she fixed me with was certainly intense, something that I had to say was very representative of her queenly disposition, but it held neither a malicious intent nor even the cold, uninterested expression that I was used to. It was stony, but I could practically read the words that her eyes communicated as if they were a teleprompter on a stage.

The gazes that I saw were ones that I had been anticipating, or at the very least was expecting anyways. However, the one that truly caught me off guard was that of the school's golden-boy himself, Hayama Hayato.

His eyes that were uncaringly staring at the board a moment prior, suddenly sharpened inexplicably as he turned to face me. My heart began to beat faster for a moment.

In his gaze was something that I couldn't completely identify. Although it clearly held some form of idle recognition and nonchalant disinterest, teeming underneath was also a sense of intensity and if I were forced to put my observations into words, aggression even. The longer he stared at me, the more uneasy I felt. I couldn't help but swallow at the strange sight.

"Hikigaya, are you planning on standing around all day or are you going to sit so I can continue my lesson?"

My legs froze. Or rather, they stayed frozen.

I noticed at that moment that I had stopped moving entirely, and was still standing awkwardly at the front of the classroom. My face suddenly felt abnormally hot, and my mouth automatically spit out a string of words with the intention of salvaging the situation and getting me into my seat as fast as possible.

"Aah yes sensei. Sorry."

A silent chuckle sounded out from the back of the classroom. My cheeks still burning, I trudged to my desk, using the majority of my concentration to steady my drenched, shaky legs.

As I turned to take my bag off of my shoulders, a clear voice suddenly called out.

"I'm sure you're well aware Hikigaya, but this is your third tardy this semester. Are you having an issue with transportation?"

I heard more small giggles from the back as she finished speaking. The smile that was adorning her face was slightly crooked and her eyes sparkled with an impish glint.

"Uh n-no… I can make it fine here."

I shook my head as I realized how illiterate and unintelligent my sentence sounded.

"I mean… um, well the brakes on my bike were broken this morning… but usually I'm… biking."

Another round of quiet snickers erupted around me.

I decided at that moment that I hated Hiratsuka-sensei. Damn her, I knew she was enjoying this. If she weren't standing in front of a class right now, I guarantee she would've burst into a fit of annoying laughter right then and there.

Normally I was good in these types of situations too, but walking in on a tardy classroom was a personal weakness of mine for some reason. It probably had to do with all those judgmental glares from my classmates way back in middle school. Although I accepted it, I never did quite understand what people found so amusing about someone walking in late.

Her lips curled as she continued to speak. "Good, because if you keep this up, I'm going to have to come drag you out of the house myself and take you to school in my car every morning. And we both know that wouldn't be a pleasant experience for either of us—well not for me at least."

Somebody fire this woman please. And yes, I mean right this instant.

I coughed into my hand slightly, and heard whispers from those around me.

Did she even know how inappropriate that sounded right there? I mean joking about something like that in private was one thing, but saying something like that in front of the class was something that a good teacher wasn't supposed to do (I both identified and answered my own question right there). Not to mention, being singled out like that was incredibly embarrassing for a student… so yeah! This kind of behavior was certainly not befitting of a teacher; we must address this issue and have her turn in her laser pointer and red pen i-immediately.

However, the only obstacle that stood in the way of my little plan was Hiratsuka-sensei's status as a tenured teacher… Although she was never really a consummate professional or anything, she had never been quite _this_ bold in class either. I suppose it all had to do with her recent promotion.

After having shown great initiative and ability in her rearing of the Service Club, along with the uncharacteristically high test-scores of her students on the standardized Modern Japanese exam, Hiratsuka-sensei had attracted the attention of the district higher-ups. The principal, more specifically, had recognized her achievements and consequentially, had offered her the position as head of the Humanities department. She took it obviously.

As a result, in addition to the classes that she still taught to the second years, she had also had her pick of classes for one other liberal arts course as well. It went without saying that she signed up as the primary instructor for my liberal arts focus class this year. And just when I thought I'd gotten rid of her, she found a way to spring back into my life again.

Of course in reality, I actually was happy for her. Tenure, a heft pay raise, and a rather important title were all pretty big achievements. If anything, maybe this success and recognition would sound impressive on a dating profile and would help her find a husband and get married already…

"If you don't respond, I'm going to be forced to take that as a yes. For your own good Hikigaya, I pray you spit out some meaningless excuse, and soon."

Her singsong voice brought me out of my thoughts. A smart remark found its way into my head, but because I was still feeling flustered, I felt as if any attempts I might have made at talking right then would've come out in a stutter—which would have only served to embarrass me further—so I kept my response short.

"Right. I'm fine though..."

She smiled slightly before turning back to the board and continuing her lesson from where she left off. She discussed syntactical structure in Japanese poetry, while also occasionally writing down pertinent examples from the book on the chalkboard.

Although the quiet giggles and snorts that had resulted from mine and sensei's interaction earlier had persisted for a while, eventually they died down as class progressed.

My hand, and the pencil that was secured steadfastly in my fingertips, moved on its own accord as I listened to sensei muse about syllabics and the constraints of the WAKA system.

Most of the students in the class were similarly rushing to copy down the notes, but as I looked up slightly, I noticed that the hand of one of my classmates wasn't moving, but instead was propped out underneath her chin instead.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw turquoise eyes idly staring in my direction. If I were a more conceited person, I probably would've sworn that she was looking directly at the side of my face.

_Hey, stop that… When did my face become more interesting than the view from the window?_

I tried to ignore that absent stare, but after a few minutes had passed and I could still feel the unmistakable prickle of eyes on me, I decided to do something about it.

As suddenly and abruptly as I could manage, I turned my head towards Kawasaki and stretched out my gums, quickly flashing her with an unnaturally toothy and unsettling smile.

I heard the sound of bone against desk as she let out a small shriek and jumped from her seat slightly.

Her eyes that were previously looking in my direction turned away sharply as she put a hand to her chest.

"Is there a problem Kawasaki?"

Hiratsuka-sensei was looking over her shoulder, her arm still stretched towards the top of the chalkboard.

"Er, n-no problem," Kawasaki stammered out in a fluster.

Like before, a round of giggles and whispers erupted from the students around me.

Although it was rather hypocritical of me, I couldn't help myself and a rotten chuckle escaped from my own throat as well.

Let it be known, that's what happens when you mess with the alpha-loner.

I wasn't completely sure what her intention was in staring at me like that, but it seemed as if Kawasaki was trying to challenge the status quo right there.

It was pretty obvious that I was the top loner of the classroom and school. If she wanted that spot, she'd have to do a lot better than that to knock me off my throne.

Loners often had to spar to assert their dominances over one another, but it didn't necessarily have to be through violence. Sometimes intimidation tactics worked fine as well. Showing off your fangs was a common tactic in the canine world, so it wasn't surprising that it worked in the jungle known as high school too.

As the minute hand of the clock ticked away, I found my eyes naturally drawing towards that mysterious figure once again.

His eyes were fixed forward, but his hand that was holding his pencil stayed completely still throughout the entire class. His notebook was spotless and devoid of even a single marking.

When the bell signaling the start of lunch finally rang, he immediately packed up his bag and quietly stood to exit the room.

As he passed by my desk, I stared up at his face to see if he would meet me with that intense gaze again, but he simply faced straight ahead and quietly slid the door open before walking out. He was the first in the class to leave.

The rest of the students followed suit shortly after, and began to file out of the classroom to either club or the cafeteria. However, the majority—which normally went off campus or out onto the fields during lunch to eat—elected to stay and eat in the classroom on account of the weather.

As I was packing up my own things, a bright voice suddenly called out to me.

"Hikki, you're going to club during lunch today right?"

Yuigahama had made her way over from her seat in the center of the classroom, and had approached my desk with her bag in hand.

"Yeah I'm planning on it, but I need to do something first. Go on without me and I'll catch up."

I answered her as I finished stuffing my notebook into my bag. She looked at me with a slightly confused expression.

"What do you need to stay behind for?"

"I just need to talk to Hiratsuka-sensei about something."

I responded to her question before standing up and pushing in my chair.

"Ohh, haha. I bet it's about what she said earlier right? When she said it, everyone around me was like 'ooooh', and I felt embarrassed for you, but I couldn't really do much to help and all…"

I smiled slightly as I listened to Yuigahama's crude retelling of the earlier events. Oh Yuigahama, you simpleton… Don't ever change.

"Actually, it's not about that. Also, don't worry about it. I definitely didn't need you to do anything about it."

I shrugged as I spoke. After all, the last thing I wanted was for her to beat herself up over something that wasn't her fault at all. I mean Yuigahama on her own gave us plenty of excuses to poke fun at her, so it wasn't like we needed to invent more reasons for her to feel bad about herself or anything.

"Oh," her voice came out softly.

Although she was still smiling, the corner of her eyes seemed to wither a little bit as she spoke. Her hand that was gripping the strap of her bag tightened so slightly that it was hardly noticeable.

"Uh, right… Like I said, don't worry about it."

The tone in which she had spoken surprised me, and as a result, I ended up restating what I'd just said earlier.

I turned my head towards the front of the classroom as I began to walk.

However, as I did, something in the center of the room caught my eye.

The three students who were normally incredibly talkative during break times, all sat at their desks in a rather uncharacteristic silence.

Miura was staring at her phone, her finger occasionally tapping at buttons as she looked on blankly at the device's screen. Tobe and Ebina were also sitting around quietly looking at their phones, their faces seeming to lack the kinship and excitement that they usually held.

So then. Things were looking worse than ever.

Ever since they had laid out their request to the club, Miura and the others had seemed incredibly withdrawn and even dejected. At least before they had come to us with the request, it looked like they had been able to put on an effective act and at least hide away some of their worry. The way they were now just reminded me of some dejected circus animal: unable to put on an act even though they knew they would get punished if they didn't. It was surprising how big of a change the group had undergone after simply baring their guts to us and asking for help.

It did make sense in a way though. It would be foolish to underestimate the effects that physically talking out your concerns could have on your mental condition. You could hide in your mind all you wanted and blissfully live your life as if nothing were wrong and as if nothing traumatic had happened, but the second that words belying your true feelings are spoken is when you can't simply stop denying the truth anymore. Once it's out there and you admit to those problems—no matter how slightly—they become reality. I guess Miura and the others were realizing just now how bad their situation had gotten.

"Hey…what about them? Do they want to follow up on the request?"

I nodded my head in the direction of Miura's group as I addressed Yuigahama. She paused slightly, and after angling her eyes in their direction, spoke gently.

"Oh, um… I don't think they really want to…"

Both her tone and answer sounded oddly mysterious.

"Besides… I think they said all they wanted to back at the meeting a few days ago…"

Her words trailed off as she finished. I nodded in response.

"Oh. Good." I answered her uneasily. My legs began to move again and Yuigahama trailed slightly behind me as I walked.

She really was getting harder and harder to read. If it wasn't her speaking using vague terms and language, then it was the slightly disconnected tone that I had heard in her voice so often lately. In the instances where she trailed off like that, it was a shot in the dark on my part to figure out what she was thinking.

I couldn't accurately say how long this type of behavior of hers had been going on for, but if I were asked to narrow it down generally, I would probably say that it'd started becoming more noticeable after the incident with Miura's request last year, and the marathon.

I didn't want to be too presumptuous or anything though. After all, these little changes in Yuigahama's behavior were seemingly minor, and any justifications that I could make for why she was acting strangely were tenuous at best. In fact, I wasn't completely convinced that there was even any change in her behavior in the first place…

But still, something in the back of my mind wouldn't let this go, and kept telling me that something was ever so slightly off. I'd learned to trust that instinct in the past and I wasn't planning on changing that part of myself time soon. As a consequence, I couldn't deny that this behavior seemed highly suspect for whatever reason.

"Okay Hikki, I'll see you in the clubroom. Bye!"

"Ah. Yeah, later." I answered her.

As Yuigahama walked out the door and into the hallway, I turned towards Hiratsuka-sensei who was talking to another student near the window. I walked over and rested my arm on the podium as I waited my turn.

"It really wasn't my fault… that guy over there was doing something really weird."

The girl nodded to the desks behind her as she spoke, her dangling silver hair flicking slightly as she turned. Hiratsuka-sensei looked at the student with a confused expression before probing further.

"Who was doing something weird?"

"You know… That guy over there…" The tone that the girl spoke with became slightly more resigned as she said that, as if she didn't want to specify the subject of her sentence for whatever reason. "…Hikigaya."

My body tensed as I heard my name being spoken.

Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes suddenly gleamed with interest at the comment.

"Ah, you should've just said so. Hikigaya doing something weird is about as much explanation as you need to give. After all, that boy does act in truly inexplicable ways sometimes…"

Hey, when did gossiping about me suddenly become an exciting pastime..? Also, could you not make it sound like I was some sort of deviant or something?

"Speaking of which… What was with that comment you made earlier? The one about you driving him in the morning or something…"

Kawasaki turned her head to face Hiratsuka-sensei directly. For some reason, her tone sounded slightly cold as she spoke. K-Kawasaki you sure were scary…

"Oh that? Just a little motivation for him to get his butt back into shape and stop showing up to school late all the time. You know what they say, attacking a person's pride is the quickest way to get them to change. I think the embarrassment on his face was proof that my plan worked."

Ah, so that had been her plan… _Sneaky sensei, sneaky! Hiratsneaka-sensei!_

And with that in mind, I decided I had heard enough. Hearing people talk about you when you were standing just a few feet away was incredibly embarrassing. I coughed loudly to announce my presence.

Kawasaki who turned around to locate the sound of the noise, jumped slightly upon seeing me, her eyes suddenly growing wide and her posture stiffening up.

Boy, she really was jumpy wasn't she? I think I'd like to take her to a scary movie if not only to see her jump every time a bed sheet moved or something. But judging from my experience at the haunted house that one time, I had a feeling that cornering her into a situation like that would just mean having to buy a new set of cuffs for my uniform.

"Uh, I gotta go sensei." Kawasaki spit out a couple of words before rushing past me. However, as she did, our eyes connected for a moment and her cheeks that had turned pink earlier deepened a shade.

You know, getting that embarrassed over being caught badmouthing someone is probably a sign that you shouldn't be badmouthing anyone in the first place…

I watched her exit the door before I turned my gaze back to the other person who had been gossiping about me just a second earlier.

Hiratsuka-sensei greeted me as I walked over towards her, her shoulders still trembling slightly from her chuckles.

"So Hikigaya, you heard all that did you?"

A normal person probably would have been embarrassed that they'd been caught crudely gossiping behind someone's back, but nope. Not Hiratsuka-sensei.

"Well it was kind of hard to miss with how loud you were being." I answered her in as sarcastic a tone as I could muster.

She chuckled again.

"I guess we were being a little bit noisy, but it's lunchtime anyways so I doubt anyone minds." She glanced towards the desk-bound students that were noisily chatting away before turning back to me. "Speaking of which, shouldn't you be heading to the clubroom right about now?"

As she spoke, she leaned against the windowsill and stuck her hands into the pockets of her coat.

"I'm going there after, but there was something I wanted to talk to you about before I left."

Upon seeing the slightly serious look on my face, her previously jeering expression faded and was replaced by a much more sober one.

"Oh. In that case, I'm all ears."

Seeing her shift gears so quickly into the serious mentor role that she played so well almost made me forget how annoying and flamboyant she'd been acting just a moment prior.

"Would you mind if we stepped into the hallway to talk about it?"

Even though what I wanted to talk about wasn't anything particularly serious or scandalous, having to discuss something important in front of the prying ears of high school students wasn't exactly something that I liked to do. After all, bored students possessed the uncanny ability to turn anything they overheard into something it wasn't, and with the way sensei was acting this morning, letting them eavesdrop would be like an invitation to start some unscrupulous rumor.

"Sure. _I_ certainly don't mind, but I'm not sure what the other students might think. You know, especially considering what happened this morning."

Exactly, sensei, exactly.

Wait a minute, that was your fault completely. Wrong, sensei, completely wrong. By the way, I wholeheartedly take back what I said about her being a good mentor.

"Anybody ever told you you're a terrible role model?"

I turned to ask her a question, but she had already started walking towards the class's entrance, and consequently didn't hear me. I followed her.

I could hear the squeaking of my damp shoes echo as we exited into the hallway. There were a couple of students loitering around the entrances to their respective classrooms, but aside from that the hall was empty.

Eventually our steps stilled, and sensei took the opportunity to speak first.

"So, what's the problem?" She crossed her arms as she spoke, her eyes adorning an attentive expression.

"It's not really a problem." I said. "It's just… Would you mind showing a broadcast on the TV tomorrow during lunch? There's going to be an interview that the school council is setting up."

Even though there weren't a lot of students around, my voice still came out quiet. Again, it wasn't like what I was talking about was anything too sensitive, but I guess just asking for so many favors in such a short period of time was enough to make me feel slightly uneasy. I suppose it was the fact that I didn't like having to rely on so many people, and so often all at once. It felt wrong, but if these conditions were necessary to carry out my plan, then nothing could be done about it I suppose.

A look of realization spreading across her face, Hiratsuka-sensei eventually answered. "Oh, principal Katsuoro sent out an email a few hours ago saying that he wanted all the teachers to set up the monitors for something like that tomorrow. Is he referring to the same thing?"

It looked like Isshiki had successfully completed the favor I'd asked of her then. That being the case, there were only a few more things that needed to be attended to. In response to Hiratsuka-sensei's question, I gave a short affirmation before elaborating further.

"Yeah, that's the same thing. Isshiki and the others are planning on doing interviews with the seniors about university and stuff, and the principal must have chosen tomorrow for the broadcast date."

She nodded as she answered. "Ah, I see. Anyways, that does sound like a good idea with everyone graduating soon and all."

I nodded slightly as well. I was glad that Hiratsuka-sensei approved of the reasoning behind the broadcast and understood where I (well, the student council) was coming from in asking that it be shown. At the very least, her willingness to comply in this situation made what was going to happen a little bit easier for me.

"Though, the only thing I don't understand is why you've come to me to specifically ask about it. Don't tell that you're going to be one they're interviewing."

Her words held a faint amusement to them that implied a sense of surprise, as if just the idea of me openly talking about myself was some highly unlikely event.

Come to think of it, I guess she wasn't totally off base. She was right in so far as saying that interviews were never exactly my thing, and that I'd rather die first than be caught blabbing on and on about myself in front of a bunch of people. I mean, the second I start saying, "Don't forget to check out our sponsors Honda, iBuyPower, MAX coffee, and all the rest! Thanks to my wonderful supporters!" is the second someone should put me out of my misery. (By the way, in exchange for a monthly shipment of MAX coffee, I would be more than willing to sign over my soul for a partnership. Please consider both this offer and me as well, Coca-cola-san).

"Ha, that's obviously not it." I dismissed her with a slight wave of my hand.

"I expected as much, which is what prompted me to ask." She nodded slightly. "I'm still curious why you would confront me one on one like this though. It doesn't seem like something you would normally be concerned with."

It's true. I normally wouldn't have come to Hiratsuka-sensei for something like this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. That was a concept that I had understood fully when I had told Miura and the others that I'd help them. But even so, it wasn't like I could just flat out tell her what it was that I was planning or anything.

"That's not true." I swallowed down my saliva as my brain began to generate and process various excuses. "Uh, well you see…"

"…It has to do with the request that you were given the other day isn't it? Yukinoshita told me about it, albeit only the bare bones of what's going on."

My eyes, which were awkwardly angled towards my shoes a second ago, flicked up to sensei's. The surprise on my face must have been evident, because she continued on without waiting for me to answer.

"It certainly sounds like a complicated situation. After all, helping out a guy like that must be a little bit tough for you." She gave me an odd-looking smile as she said that.

I was caught slightly off guard by Hiratsuka-sensei's words. A guy like that…

"Uh, not really... It's just a job…" I trailed off.

"If you say so."

Her shoulders shrugged ever so slightly as she finished. Although her body language and words both clearly expressed agreement, it was obvious that she still had more to say. Naturally, I was curious as to what it was that she was implying in what she had said earlier, and also why she had even bothered to say something so bizarre in the first place.

I voiced the question that was rolling around in my mind after a brief period of silence.

"What makes this request any different from the other ones?" I asked.

She looked at me with a knowing expression, her thin lips curving up slightly.

"I think normally I would be tempted to sit back and let you figure it out for yourself, but because we're getting so close to the end of the year and I'm not sure there'll be a next time, I suppose I can spare you the suspense _this_ time."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her lengthy preface. "I think that would save everyone involved a lot of trouble." I answered her sardonically.

"Fufu, brat. Just be quiet so I can continue." She cleared her throat as she motioned to speak.

I kept quiet and listened.

"I meant that taking on a request like this just to help someone you don't really like shows a tremendous amount of growth. To me, it's an undeniable sign that you aren't that same selfish kid you were when all of this started."

_Selfish kid huh…_

"Really… I don't know if you could say I've changed all that much..." I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "I'm not fulfilling the request because I'm selfless or anything... I just didn't really have a choice in the matter."

"You could have said no." She answered quickly, as if somehow she'd known the exact words that I was planning on saying.

"Well, I couldn't say no when Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were—"

"Yukinoshita didn't tell me much, but one of the things she did mention was that you were the one who initially accepted the request." She gave me a rather triumphant-looking smirk, having caught me in my phony excuse. "That doesn't sound like something a selfish kid might do. Suspiciously enough, it even sounds like something someone who has _grown_ might do."

I stayed silent.

I wasn't even entirely sure why I was trying to argue with Hiratsuka-sensei to begin with. She was clearly giving me a compliment in saying that I had grown, and judging by my failed attempts to prove otherwise, it seemed that she was right.

Even so, a feeling of uneasiness prickled at me.

"Yeah, maybe." I answered her dismissively. "Besides, that all sounds kind of wrong in the first place. Choosing to be alone and being selfish aren't the same things you know."

Even if I had changed, that didn't necessarily mean that I used to be selfish just on the account that I was a loner… I mean inwardly, yes it was true that I had absolutely no intention of helping (or talking to) anyone, but there's no possible way she could've known that or anything right..?

"True, but you were being incredibly selfish by withholding your service abilities and that amazing personality of yours from your classmates." She finished her thought with a cute smile and a wink.

Unexpected barrage! She's hitting us from a complimentary angle!

Despite how stupid the reason she gave me was, I couldn't help but roll my eyes at Hiratsuka-sensei's half-sarcastic, half overly affectionate remark.

"That's seriously one of the lamest things I've ever heard," I responded as I shook my head.

She laughed a rich, hearty laugh as she reached into the pockets of her coat, pulling out a cigarette from one and her steel zippo from the other.

Her teeth gripping at the end of a cigarette, she addressed me, her voice coming out slightly fragmented given the awkward positioning of her lips.

"Think anyone'll mind if I light a quick one here?"

One of her hands was covering the lighter in her hand, the other flicking eagerly at the lighter's switch to activate the flame.

"Probably just the school, since it's against the rules to smoke inside the buildings and all."

"I won't tell if you won't."

She gave me a wry smile as her cigarette finally caught flame. She inhaled deeply, her eyes closing as she did so, before puffing out the tobacco slowly.

I wasn't going to lie and say that smoking wasn't a filthy habit, but trying to imagine a Hiratsuka-sensei that didn't smoke was like trying to imagine a Yukinoshita that preferred dogs to cats. A scene like this, despite how inappropriate it was, actually put me completely at ease.

We stood in silence for a while, sensei inhaling her cigarette while I used my body to slightly cover her from the sight lines of the other students in the hall.

The only sounds that could be heard in the quiet hallway were the slow puffing noises of sensei's breaths, and the faint patter of the rain as thick drops assaulted the hallway's windows.

As the remnants of her cigarette finally burned away, sensei took out a small, metal case and tossed the charred butt of the cigarette in there. She must've found the way I was staring at it to be odd, because she spoke to assuage my concerns before I even asked.

"Little keepsake that one of my old boyfriends gave me." She snapped the case shut before shoving it into one of her pants pockets.

"Turns out it's been pretty useful, even though he was anything but…" she fumed slightly as she spoke, but continued calmly after a cough. "I'll empty it out later."

Somebody marry her please. It might not look like it, but she's a good woman, I swear.

I didn't like to admit it, but the fact that sensei couldn't seem to get married despite her best attempts made me sad as well. Sure I would make fun of her for it, but if an incredible woman like Hiratsuka-sensei couldn't find a suitable partner, then I definitely had a reason to be worried for my own future. Selfish reasons aside though, it hurt a little bit to see Hiratsuka-sensei struggle as much as she did.

That being the case, I decided to change the subject to something that was less likely to send her into an outbreak of bitter tears. I coughed awkwardly before talking.

"So, if the principal's emailing all the teachers about it, then I guess Isshiki's interview is going to be a school-wide event huh?" I asked after a beat.

"Well, the email said that while recommended, showing it was optional and left completely up to the teacher's discretion." She paused slightly, her lips sucked in on top of one another in what I'm guessing was supposed to look like a contemplative gesture. "However, since you asked me so nicely, I suppose it would only be fair of me to fulfill your request."

Despite her cheap attempt at drumming up suspense, I couldn't help myself and one end of my lips tugged up slightly in response.

"Thanks. Also, could you try to keep in as many people as possible? You know, tell them that they'll get extra credit if they stay or something. " I found myself pushing my luck and asking for another small favor while I was already at it.

"Hoh, sure are asking for a lot there aren't you?" she responded with a slight chuckle as she crossed her arms.

"Well, I didn't plan on cashing in my favor so soon, but… Don't forget that I was the one who helped you make those lesson plans when you were drunk last weekend."

She scoffed before smiling.

"You really are a brat. Fine, I'll help you this time, but don't think that I'm always available to jump through hoops for you. I wouldn't want the other students to think that I'm playing favorites or anything."

"I'm pretty sure that boat sailed a long time ago."

I couldn't help but aim a rotten smile in Hiratsuka-sensei's direction. Well, it was intended to be a normal smile, but I'm sure it ended up looking rotten anyways.

After a moment, I realized that with sensei's confirmation accounted for, my work was done for now, and that I should probably head over to the special building before the others started to worry.

"Anyways, thanks. I should probably get going to club now."

"Mhm. Say hello to Yukinoshita and Yuigahama for me."

I nodded as I turned towards the direction of the stairwell. However, before I could even make it a few steps, I felt a hand grip my shoulder lightly. I turned around to face Hiratsuka-sensei who was wearing a rather complicated expression.

"Hikigaya." She stared at me, an odd look marring her features. Maybe it was the fact that I had turned around so quickly, but inexplicably, my cheeks began to feel warm. I stared at her for a second, waiting for her to continue her thought.

"Just… don't do anything too crazy alright?"

Her eyes shimmered as she spoke, the image of raindrops pattering off the hallway window reflecting in her grey irises.

"Yeah… I'll try not to."

I didn't like lying, but my voice came out on its own that time.

* * *

Walking through the hallway during a rainy day was quite an unusual experience. On a normal day during lunch period, the hallways adjoining the classrooms were guaranteed to be obscenely crowded, with students loitering around lockers and water fountains just to talk loudly and generally get in other peoples' ways as they tried to pass.

However, today was the complete opposite. Like the hallway on the third floor, those on the second and even those on the ground level were empty save for the occasional few students that chose to eat or read silently by themselves next to the classroom door.

It actually seemed a little paradoxical that hallways would be _less_ crowded on a rainy day, given that the rain kept students from wandering about outside during lunch, which meant that aside from hanging out in class, filling up the hallways during a rainy day was inevitable since they had nowhere else to go. But that was high school for you I suppose. The more you thought about it, the less you ended up understanding.

My stroll through the school eventually led me outside. Since there was no adjoining hallway that led directly from the main building to the special building, you had to exit out of the M.B.'s side door and make your way through the courtyard just to get to the entrance of the S.B. However, given that absurd amounts of rain were currently pouring out of the sky, I decided to take an alternate route that cut through the courtyard but still provided shelter from the rain overhead.

I hope Yukinoshita and Yuigahama knew about this path too, otherwise they would've gotten completely soaked.

I grimaced as I stepped into a deep puddle that had accumulated at the base of the stairs. Urgg, any way you cut it, rain sucked.

Sure, I'd heard of the expression "April showers bring May Flowers" from some American cartoon I'd watched when I was younger, but I doubt that those seasonal weather patterns applied to a region that was halfway across the world.

For the most part, Japan didn't get too much rain during the spring season. It wasn't completely unheard of either, but being hit with a storm this severe so early on in April was some sort of cosmological anomaly to be sure.

Could it be that the gods were mad at the Chiban people over something? That seemed highly doubtful given that our peanut output and overall GDP had increased over five percent from last year. If history classes had taught me anything, it was that the Japanese gods were obsessed with wealth and fortune. How could the gods be mad at such a prosperous (and by extension, amazing) district?

If it wasn't that though, then my skills in literary analysis told me that this rain was actually some sort of grand metaphor for rebirth; that the drops represented cleansing, and that the waters held the powers to change me into a completely new person (luckily, I was walking under an awning though, so I was safe from an unexpected appearance from Hikigaya Rebuild 1.0: You Are (completely) Alone Edition).

Either that, or the rain served as some kind of ominous omen for some foreboding thing that was about to happen. That was the other option.

As I walked into the hallway of the special building, I noticed that it was completely quiet. As per usual, the majority of the classrooms here appeared to be locked and few if any were currently being used by other clubs for activities.

After trudging down the hallway for a while, I eventually reached the door to the clubroom, and gave a quick, polite knock before sliding it open.

In doing so, I was met with two sets of eyes and after a second, a round of greetings.

"Yahallo Hikki."

"Hello Hikigaya-kun."

"Yo."

I responded with my customary greeting before making my way over to my usual spot and tossing my bag off my shoulder and onto the floor.

"You're awfully late Hikigaya-kun. Did something hold you up?"

Yukinoshita addressed me with a question as she sipped from her teacup. As I glanced slightly in her direction, I noticed that my cup had already been filled as well and had been placed on the table, near my seat. I reached over and gripped the mug in my palm before answering her.

"Kind of. I just wanted to make sure that Hiratsuka-sensei would agree to play the interview. If anything, I want to at least make sure that those in our class watch it tomorrow." I said as I sipped at my own cup, sighing out quietly in satisfaction.

Normally people would object to leaving tea out to cool, but since I had a cat's tongue and preferred my beverages just barely warmer than room temperature anyways, the slightly warm tea tasted perfect to me.

That rascal Yukinoshita… she sure was empathetic.

"Mhm, I see." She hummed as she spoke, her index finger tapping against her chin lightly as she thought about something.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, Yukinoshita eventually angling her face to once again point towards her book.

I decided to follow suit, sticking my hands into my bag as my fingers idly tried to locate and grasp at the paperback book that I had stowed into my bag that morning. However, the sudden sound of a whisper stilled my rummaging hand.

"So I guess we're going through with this plan after all huh…"

Yuigahama was the owner of that soft voice. She was staring at the cup in her hands distractedly, as my and Yukinoshita's eyes turned towards her.

"Yeah. I thought we'd all decided that on Friday though." I spoke out to confirm what I thought had already been established.

Yuigahama's body shot up a little bit upon hearing me, giving off the impression that she either hadn't noticed that she'd been speaking aloud or that she hadn't intended to receive a response. After meeting our gazes with surprised pink eyes, she continued.

"O-Oh yeah! I guess we did, but…" She shook her head lightly, her fingers idly tracing the design of her cup. "Doing all of this just seems... Maybe if we think about it some more, we could come up with something else."

Like before, her tone sounded incredibly unsure and her expression clearly gave off the impression that she was feeling uneasy. It was actually a little surprising that she was still so shaky considering the plan was going to be carried out tomorrow, and also that we had talked all of this out before, but, to use a metaphor, Yuigahama's pre-show butterflies weren't unwarranted or anything. Even if one were to put it in the most charitable terms possible, what I was planning on doing would still be referred to by most as unpleasant.

That being said though, what was decided was decided. It would be plain unreasonable to just turn back now and call it quits.

"It might have been possible a few days ago, but at this point it's pretty much too late to call it off." I spoke slowly and rationally as if I were trying to reassure a nervous child.

"Ah, I guess you're right. I was just holding out for any hope that there might be one last thing we hadn't thought of yet." She offered a small smile in no particular direction. "…You know, you and Yukinon work so well together, I thought it could have been possible…"

Yuigahama's voice became slightly quieter as she finished. An absent expression that I wouldn't be wrong to call wistful, was settled upon her features.

Rearing its head again was that confusing tendency of hers to trail off so suddenly. Like earlier, she had started out talking normally, but for whatever reason, she wouldn't finish completely—almost as if she were reluctant to say everything that was on her mind. I was beginning to grow curious about that. This habit, which clearly represented some kind of internal unease, had only been growing more frequent as time passed. Was it just the unpleasant nature of the request that was weighing her down in this instance, or was it something more that was plaguing her thoughts?

My hand that was gripping my cup tightened a little bit. I shifted my gaze slightly in Yukinoshita's direction, and our eyes met. After a second, she sighed out slightly before speaking.

"Yuigahama-san, I realize that what we're doing might not be the most pleasant thing, but… Like Hikigaya-kun has been saying, this might be the only way to do it."

"Besides, don't worry about it too much. Since it was my plan, I'll be the one who takes responsibility for it. There only needs to be one person who physically carries it out anyways, so as long as you guys can support me from afar, we'll be good."

I backed Yukinoshita up, explaining the situation further. My voice that followed immediately after hers sounded confident and assured, if I did say so myself.

Yuigahama laughed quietly. "Eheh, I figured. You two know best. You are Yukinon and Hikki after all." She let out an odd sounding giggle before saying something rather cryptic.

"Yes… I suppose that much is true." Yukinoshita responded with a reserved nod, a perplexed expression on her face.

I too, was slightly confused by Yuigahama's statement, but chose to ignore it in favor of moving the conversation forward.

"Yeah." I answered her with a short response and a slight nod.

After we had finished speaking, Yuigahama resumed playing with her phone and Yukinoshita turned to her book. Following their examples, I pulled out my own paperback book, eager to finish the chapter I had started the night earlier. However, before I had a chance to, I noticed the absence of someone and remembered something that I had told myself I would do.

"Hey, have you guys seen Isshiki around?"

I turned my body towards the other two as I asked my question. After setting her book down lightly, Yukinoshita was the one to answer.

"Yes, she stopped by earlier to tell us that she was busy with student council activities, and wouldn't be able to eat with us today. However, she did mention that she was looking for you."

Ah, too busy to eat lunch with us today… That could only mean that Isshiki was still diligently setting up the preparations that I had asked her to take care of. More specifically, she was probably negotiating with the AV club right now to secure the proper equipment.

"Oh, I see. Well in that case, tell her thanks for me if you see her this afternoon."

"Huh? Are you going somewhere Hikki?" Yuigahama looked at me with a curious expression, her idly clicking fingers pausing for a second.

"Well, Komachi wants me to taste-test one of her cakes later so I'm going to head home a little early."

"Taste-test? I was under the impression that Komachi-san had finished all of her baking on Saturday," Yukinoshita asked.

As always, Yukinoshita was quite the observant person. The question she asked me was deserved considering the whole ordeal with the bakery and the custard that past Saturday, but the answer to it was a simple one.

"Well that was what was supposed to happen, but then she got impatient and started baking before I had brought her the filling. Long story short, the cake didn't turn out well and she wasted all of her ingredients making it, so she's trying again today."

Yukinoshita laughed quietly. "Like I told you, Komachi isn't the patient type. You should have foreseen something like that happening from the beginning."

"Yeah yeah, I've known since she was born that Komachi was a bad sport. It's still her own fault that she couldn't wait a few extra minutes though. Her cake turning out badly is her getting her just desserts."

I inwardly snickered at my own bad joke as Yukinoshita answered.

"True, but now you're the one who's being forced to come home early and help her with her baking."

"Well Komachi's a pretty good cook, so being a guinea pig in this situation isn't the worst thing that could happen," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

It wasn't like I minded being fed free dessert or anything. Sure Komachi had jumped the gun by not waiting for me to get home with the custard filling, but I felt that her letting me act as the sampler for delicious sweets was a fair enough compensation.

"Yukinon, how did you know that Komachi-chan was baking a cake?"

Yuigahama suddenly asked a question, her face once again looking slightly confused as she looked up from her phone. Yukinoshita and I paused, our conversation suddenly being met with an interruption.

Oops, I guess Yukinoshita and I were being a little bit rude there. By discussing something that Yuigahama couldn't possibly have any prior knowledge of considering her absence at our unplanned meeting that past weekend, we had accidentally excluded her from the conversation.

I had been in my fair share of these types of situations before; conversations where I would try my hardest to listen in and offer my own two cents despite not knowing a thing about the events that were being discussed or even the people that were being mentioned. Looking back on it, my attempts to force my way into conversations was definitely one of the main reasons the others boys didn't like me in middle school.

When people got together to talk about their in-jokes and the latest drama tidbits that were circulating amongst their clique, they typically disbarred outsiders and cut out those who they didn't consider to be integral to the group's dynamic. That's why those who tried to force themselves in anyways and would ask, "What are we talking about guys? Come on, I won't tell anyone. I'm one of you guys right?" were the first to be declared as mass-ignore targets and have vicious rumors started about them.

Those who engaged in those types of vindictive displays couldn't exactly be called good people, but neither could those that tried so desperately to include themselves in every scenario—even the ones that they weren't a part of.

I had been that way once, and because I dislike the way I was back then, I could say that I disliked that type of person now.

I didn't mean to say that what Yuigahama was that type of rude, interrupting person however. It was our fault that we were talking about something that not everybody in the room could relate to, or even—was a part of. The fault lay with us for the most part.

I opened my mouth to explain the situation, but Yukinoshita was the one to take the lead and spoke instead.

"Oh. Um, Hikigaya-kun and I met up a few days ago for a little bit." Yukinoshita said, offering the past weekend's events as an explanation. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, but unsure of exactly what she wanted from me, I wasn't able to offer her any significant response.

"Oh," Yuigahama nodded slightly before pausing. As she responded with that single word, I could see the slight movement of her wrists under the table. Although I couldn't see her hands directly, the slight twitching of her sleeves told me that her hands were moving under the table.

"Was it about the request?" Yuigahama asked.

I could see Yukinoshita's slender shoulders tense a bit as Yuigahama asked the question. I didn't know why exactly, but my neck also began to feel a little bit stiff as I looked over at the two girls who were facing each other.

Yukinoshita opened her mouth quickly to respond, but closed it after a moment. As I watched her, I noticed that her posture seemed abnormally rigid, and the expression that was on her face was unusual. However, after a second, she let out an almost imperceptibly quiet sigh before responding.

"Well… Yes, but it was just a short meeting since he was stopping near my apartment for some supplies…" Yukinoshita's voice sounded smooth like it always did, but the barely noticeable pauses that adorned her speech made her voice sound strangely meek. "We didn't want to have to bother you over something so trivial Yuigahama-san."

A slightly awkward silence filled the air for a moment before Yuigahama spoke again.

"B-but I don't live that far away from your apartment either Yukinon. If you had called me, I wouldn't have really minded coming to help…" Yuigahama's voice trailed off as she answered. The edges of her cheeks curled up slightly as she spoke, but her gaze that was pointed idly in Yukinoshita's direction still looked uneasy. "Besides, something having to do with the request can't be all that trivial, can it…"

"Oh. I guess not." Yukinoshita's eyes flashed briefly with surprise before she continued. "I-I suppose I misspoke. I didn't mean to imply that our meeting was trivial per se... It's just that…" Her body stirred as she began to speak, her hand and curled index finger moving slightly forward before stopping altogether. Yuigahama and I waited for her to continue, but after a few moments had passed and still no definitive answer was given, we averted our eyes and Yukinoshita turned away.

An uncomfortable feeling swept over me as I peered at the two girls sitting to my left. Yuigahama sat there with a small smile on her face, while Yukinoshita sat angled towards the table, that same strange expression from earlier still splayed out across her features. Her eyes seemed to be teeming with something as she stared at the wooden paneling of the desk.

The best way I could describe the look on her face was…guilty? Yeah, it was more than likely that. Yukinoshita was probably feeling guilty that she hadn't invited Yuigahama to that meeting the other day in the park at Narashino.

But it wasn't like it was her fault or anything right? I mean, she was looking out for Yuigahama's best interests by not forcing her to attend some meeting that wasn't all that focused on the request anyways. It wasn't essential, or official, or detailed, or anything along those lines, so it stood to reason that not all of the members had to be present, right?

I'm not sure that necessarily excused it all away though.

Come to think of it, I suppose I was feeling a little bit guilty too. I mean if I had known that Yuigahama had wanted to join us so badly, I definitely would have invited her. Yuigahama was just as much a member of the club as we were, but the reason we two alone had met up was something that owed itself simply to convenience. It wasn't like we were trying to exclude Yuigahama or anything; it just worked out better for everyone if we could keep the meeting short and simple… It was done out of expediency's sake was all.

"It wasn't anything official. We barely talked about the case anyways, so you didn't miss too much."

My voice came out suddenly, cutting through the silent air that had filled the room.

"O-Oh, really?" Yuigahama spoke quickly, seemingly surprised at my sudden interjection.

Yukinoshita, who had been staring idly at her feet a second earlier, looked up in surprise. She turned to look at me for a brief second, and almost as if my own words had renewed her confidence, she turned to Yuigahama, opening her mouth to speak.

"I…I apologize for not calling you Yuigahama-san. It was a mistake on my part for being presumptuous and making the decision for you." Yukinoshita adjusted her body so that it was completely facing towards Yuigahama, and stared at her directly. "I won't let it happen again."

Yuigahama blinked at Yukinoshita's words, a shocked expression on her face. After a moment, she took a quick breath and shook her head, the ends of her pink hair swaying as she did so.

"No, no, it's fine! It's really not that big a deal!" she threw her hands up, her fingers frazzling about as she waved them back and forth.

At that, Yukinoshita nodded slightly. Her shoulders that seemed completely upright and stiff a second ago deflated slightly, and she offered a small smile in Yuigahama's direction.

"Yes, I—"

"Yup haha... I mean, if it's possible I would like it if you guys would let me know before you met up…" Almost as if she had wanted to speak her mind before losing her courage, Yuigahama interrupted Yukinoshita and spoke quickly.

"For things relating to the club and all, I mean." She added softly.

…Didn't both Yukinoshita and I already say something along those lines though?

Although she had trailed off mid-sentence once again, that time around her words seemed to hold an oddly deliberate sense of purpose. As if she had been articulating her thought slowly, but fully.

I snuck a quick glance in Yukinoshita's direction, and the thoughtful, but slightly surprised expression on her face meant that she hadn't completely understood the intention of Yuigahama's words either.

"Yep, I'm sorry too." I said as an afterthought, looking over at Yuigahama.

Still, I threw out my own apology, and hoped that it would serve as an appropriate conclusion to this rather offbeat conversation.

"Don't worry Hikki. It's not a big deal," she offered a smile in my direction, and for all I could tell, it looked completely genuine. I nodded lightly in response.

And just like that, that strange mood that had pervaded the clubroom just a second ago had seemingly vanished.

We all sat there for a brief moment, unsure of how to proceed after that slightly awkward conversation. After a bit, I decided to return my gaze back to my book, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Yukinoshita did the same. Judging from the clicking of fingernails that I heard a few feet to my left, it sounded like Yuigahama had begun sending mails or otherwise idly playing around on her phone.

I flipped a page in my book, and I heard Yukinoshita follow suit with her own paperback novel.

We sat in what I want to say was a comfortable silence for a while. However, the short noiselessness was eventually shattered by Yuigahama who decided to once again initiate conversation, although this time in a rather cheery tone.

"Oh, speaking of cakes though, Iroha-chan's birthday is this week! We should do something to celebrate!"

Yukinoshita set down her book upon hearing Yuigahama's loud exclamation. "Oh, I suppose you're right. What kind of event do you propose we organize?"

"Hmm. Well, I was thinking we should go all out since this is our last year with her. Maybe throw a big party at that karaoke club with those big disco balls?"

"Oi, not that again…" I couldn't help but throw my own two cents into the mix as I answered.

We all talked for a little while longer about other odd, light-hearted topics, the pitters and patters of rain on the windows' surfaces serving as a background track for our conversations.

Eventually, the school's bell sounded, signaling the end of the period, and with it, our breaks.

* * *

Hiratsuka-sensei had continued her lecture on WAKA formatting after class had resumed, and the students of class 3-A continued jotting down notes in the same manner as they had been doing before break. Eventually the lecture ended and Hiratsuka-sensei packed up her things and left.

The rest of my classes after that passed by without spectacle.

I glanced at the clock that was hanging above the whiteboard. Four more minutes until I could get out of here.

It was honestly a pretty pointless practice, looking at the clock and counting each and every minute until dismissal, but it was one that I found myself engaging in every day. Torturing yourself like that, and waiting on bated breath for the lethargic clacks of the second hand probably made time move slower than normal actually. Doing the opposite and ignoring the clock altogether usually worked better for speeding things up, but then again, that was easier said than done.

I did have a reason for paying such close attention to the time though. Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and I had agreed to meet at the clubroom after class to discuss the absolute and final details of the plan one last time, and for whatever reason, I was feeling slightly antsy in getting out of here and making it over there.

If nothing else, I wanted to wrap up our conversation quickly so that I could start walking home while the brief hiatus in rainfall still held.

I peered out the window to my left, the teacher's closing remarks barely registering in my mind as I looked out at the scenery beyond. Grey clouds were still looming overhead, but the harsh and heavy drops had stopped for a while at this point. The majority of the blacktop still looked wet as far as I could see, which probably meant that there were still puddles everywhere, which meant that the traffic would still be bad and that walking home would be a pain. Walking through traffic still beat walking through traffic in the rain, however.

"Alright class, that'll be all for today."

My head suddenly flicked to the front of the room after my ears had picked out a particular phrase.

"Have a good afternoon. I'll see you all tomorrow."

The teacher gave a final farewell, and began stacking his handouts and folders before leaving the room himself.

With that dismissal, the students in the room began to stand and stretch as they packed their own belongings into their bags and began filing out. I did the same, and stacked my books neatly in my bag before zipping it and lugging it over my shoulder.

However, before I stood, I aimed my eyes towards the group in the center of the room.

Tobe, Ebina, Miura, and Yuigahama were still in their seats packing away their belongings, while Hayama who seemed to have already finished, stood and began walking. However, before he could run off like he had earlier, he was addressed by a small voice.

"Hayato…"

Miura called out to him, and in response, he turned his shoulder slightly to face her. For a second I thought I saw something strange in his expression, but when his face came fully into Miura's sightline, a small smile was plastered across it.

"Yes Yumiko?"

"Oh. Um… Hina told me earlier that she might want to take up surfing this summer. We were thinking about heading downtown to look for some gear, but we don't even know what brands there are or anything…"

I caught a slight flash of surprise on Ebina's face before it melded into one of understanding. Miura angled her eyes slightly upwards towards Hayama's face, one finger tugging idly at a curl.

"Maybe… Um." She bit her lip slightly. "If you're free… You could help us pick out some stuff later? Or something."

Hayama stood there for a moment, an impassive look on his face. After a brief silence, he finally opened his mouth to answer.

"Hm. Isn't that kind of an odd thing to worry about in weather like this?" His voice drifted as he spoke.

He sounded different than normal somehow. His voice sounded strange to my ears and there was an odd intonation in his delivery besides. Weirdly enough, he didn't even sound like the fake, refreshing Hayama right there; he just sounded… off.

"Ooh, um I guess." She looked away from his inscrutable eyes for a second. It looked like she wanted to say more, but nothing else came out of her mouth.

Tobe and Ebina similarly seemed like they wanted to say something, but they simply sat in their seats, trying their hardest to not look like they had been eavesdropping on the conversation. Yuigahama did the same, but the look on her face seemed more so to be one of worry.

Hayama smiled a small smile before speaking. "I've got to get to practice. I'll see you guys around. Tobe, I'm heading out first."

Upon hearing his name being called, Tobe turned around sharply, nearly tripping over his desk chair as he turned in Hayama's direction.

"Wait Hayato-kun, practice is probably canceled today cus' of the rain, no?"

Hayama's retreating form stilled suddenly.

His hand that was obscured from the visions of the others by a desk, clinched up slightly.

"Aah, come to think of it actually, there might be something else then. I think I'm expected at a family function later tonight."

I could feel my own eyes narrow at that poorly concealed lie.

Technically his response wasn't an outright refusal, but the tone in which he said it communicated enough.

Without even having turned around, Hayama continued walking across the classroom floor. The majority of the eyes in the room were fixed on his retreating figure, my own included. As he neared the door, a voice suddenly called out. However, it was so quiet that it was barely audible.

"Hayato, wait…"

Seemingly… Hayama hadn't heard it because he continued on, not even the twitch of a muscle betraying hesitation.

As I watched the outline of his body disappear behind the frame of the door, my eyes flicked over to the owner of that soft voice from moments ago. Her eyes looked red already, and I could hear a slight sniffling coming from her.

"Yumiko… he's just busy. Maybe if we ask again tomorrow…" Ebina's eyes looked stilted behind her glasses, as if she didn't really believe what she was saying either.

"Don't pretend like I'm stupid or somethin'!" Miura suddenly shrieked.

The few students that were still loitering around in the classroom suddenly turned sharply towards her, no doubt startled by the jarring noise. However, the piercing glare that Miura shot out served to send the rodents scurrying, and those students either turned quickly back to their own conversations or left the room altogether.

Tobe, who had jumped slightly from Miura's shriek, was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I just… I don't get how he can be like that. I put myself out there time after time…and he just ignores me like that!" Her arm shot up angrily as she spoke, her expression looking like the irritated, queenly one that I had seen her adorn so many times before. However, in a second's notice, her features suddenly softened again before she continued. "I just… I don't know how much more of this I can take."

She looked down at her lap. Yuigahama, who was sitting next to her, brushed Miura's blonde hair softly with her fingers.

"Shh, Shh…" Yuigahama whispered soothingly. "Oh I know! You, Hina and I can all take a look at that surf shop and maybe try out that bistro you were talking about afterwards. Look, it's even stopped raining!" She pointed out the window at the still grey, but like she had said, rainless sky.

Yuigahama eventually turned back to Miura and cooed softly despite the lack of response. Miura continued to sniffle softly and Ebina rested her hand comfortingly on the blonde girl's thigh.

Suddenly, Yuigahama turned to me. She must have noticed me staring because her eyes locked with mine with a slightly intense gaze after a moment. She continued patting Miura's back, but flicked her head slightly, forming an open palm with her other hand and shooing me away with a waving movement.

I'm going to take that as you telling me to go to club without you, and not you telling me to buzz off like I was some kind of bothersome fly.

I nodded once, and after grabbing my bag, headed out the door. The hallways were still crowded with school having just ended, but I made it out the doors of the main building without too much trouble.

As I began heading in the direction of the special building, something slightly off in the distance caught my eye.

A figure was walking slowly—incredibly slowly—through the overflow parking lot, his feet barely dragging along as he stepped. His peculiar walking habits weren't what caught my eye though. What stood out was his head of perfectly manicured, blonde hair.

I could feel my legs moving nearly of their own volition as I lightly jogged through the courtyard. Before I knew it, I was trailing only a few paces behind the person in front of me.

"Hey." I called out to the back of his head.

His feet stilled. He turned his gaze ever so slightly over his shoulder, looking over at me and pausing for a second to take in my appearance.

"Oh, it's you."

Hayama said so in a clipped tone. From where I was standing, I could only barely see his left eye and a sliver of his profile. But under the dark clouds, his obscured face looked almost frightening somehow, almost like a malevolent caricature of the refreshing Hayama of days' past.

Just as quickly as he had stopped, he faced forward and began walking again, this time a little bit more quickly.

"Hold on. I want to talk to you about something." I called out to him, my voice carrying slightly across the nearly empty lot.

He stopped again. I'd been half-expecting him to just ignore me completely and continue walking along like he had with Miura earlier, so it was a surprise that he actually paused upon hearing my voice.

"What?"

There was that tone of his again.

"Just wanted to ask how you were doing." I tried to say as evenly as possible.

It wasn't a total lie or anything. Usually when someone asked something like that, there was an implication of concern or empathy, but that wasn't exactly it in this case. I really did want to know how he was doing, although it wasn't entirely for altruistic purposes.

My ears registered a harsh sound, something that sounded like a strangled laugh. Hayama turned his body around fully, allowing me to register the twisted look on his face with clarity.

"Oh? That's a good one," he said. "Let me guess, is there someone out there who requested that you check up on me?"

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes. "No. Like always, I'm here out of self-interest."

It was clear that his antagonistic attitude was meant to be jeering and provocative, and that my getting annoyed so quickly would only play into what he wanted, but I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of disgust anyways.

A dry, derisive laugh escaped his throat before he continued. "Is that so… Well, I wouldn't mind it if you went away now. I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

His tone was dismissive, his gaze regarding me like I was an insect who he had grown tired of tolerating let live.

With that, he turned his body slightly, his eyes peeling off of me and angling to face forward.

"Apparently you're not in the mood to deal with your friends either."

My response was near automatic, leaving my lips almost as fast as I had formed it in my thoughts.

His body that had turned to continue walking, paused before jerking towards me again.

"Huh?" He spat.

Despite his acidic tone and narrowed eyes, I regarded him coolly. "What happened in class. Treating your friends like accessories and then ignoring them when you get tired of all that? That doesn't seem like something that a person like Hayama Hayato should do."

He glared at me, his eyes peering directly into my own with hostility. I could hear the slight shifting of fabric as his hands balled into fists, the skin over his knuckles whitening from exertion.

"Hikigaya… You…" He shook his head in disbelief. "Even when you have it all, you just can't seem to leave things alone can you?"

My body shifted a little bit on its own upon hearing those words, and my face froze in a quizzical expression. What exactly was he trying to say?

I heard the sudden booming of thunder in the distance.

"Have it all... What do you m—" I spoke in an attempt to have him elaborate, but I was interrupted before I could finish my sentence.

"Just shut up already." His voice had grown quieter, yet somehow it sounded even more intense. Unlike before, it was unmistakable now that it held anger.

I stood still in response, my eyes simply staring at his face. After a few moments, he breathed out a puff of white air and spoke.

"I'm leaving."

His tightly wound fingers suddenly loosened all at once, and he turned around calmly as if he hadn't looked ready to hit something just a second earlier. His small steps made slight sloshing noises as he continued walking. My eyes lingered on him for a second as he retreated further across the lot.

I couldn't let him get away just yet though; I hadn't said what I wanted to yet.

"You know, ignoring others in an attempt to push them away is the definition of self-satisfaction." I spoke loudly to bridge the growing distance between us. "You might think you're doing them a favor, but doing what's good for you under the guise of helping others isn't something to be proud of."

My voice carried lightly with the wind.

Hayama's retreating figure stopped. Although I couldn't see his face, I could tell that he had heard what I'd said and was currently in thought. A silence passed between us as we both stood a distance from one another. I felt a sudden moistness on one of my fingers.

"And what about what's good for me? Doesn't what I want matter at all?" Without turning around, he spoke, his voice erupting suddenly.

It was loud, louder than it had been before, but it lacked the quality that it held just a few moments earlier. Instead, this time, he sounded more like the Hayama that I had talked with on a few rare occasions; the one that spoke harshly at the marathon and the one who spewed out useless things at the café that one time.

"Something tells me that what you've been doing isn't what you want." I answered him after a beat.

What Hayama had been doing, ignoring others and acting pointlessly distant and resigned—something told me that wasn't what he wanted. But that resigned behavior in the first place clearly showed that he didn't want the old superficiality of his group either. I wasn't an expert on Hayama's psychology by any means; I couldn't tell you what he wanted. Whatever the case though, he had made it clear that he wasn't happy.

"You sure know it all don't you?" He didn't turn around but I could see his shoulders shrug slightly. To my surprise, his feet began to stir and he began walking again. I shook my head lightly and called out to him for another time.

"Oi, what's the rush? Let's talk."

What I said was rather uncharacteristic, but at the very least, I hoped that Hayama might call me out for it and throw another snide remark at me or something. I began to walk slowly to catch up with him, anticipating his response as I trailed nearly a dozen yards behind him.

"I'm expected to be somewhere." His voice was sarcastic and biting, but his footsteps didn't stop. "_Or didn't you hear_?"

My half-hearted steps stilled as I brought my body to a stop.

Suddenly I felt the weight of two large drops on my face, the water contained in their spherical forms splashing across my cheeks and into my eyes. More drops fell, and more after them. Suddenly, rainfall began to descend upon Japan, drenching everything under the swirling dark clouds above.

I pulled up my hood as I stared out at the figure that had passed through the school's front gate. After a second, he disappeared completely out of view.

Tomorrow, then.


End file.
